Pages

Friday, June 8, 2012

Computers vs Cars

by Zona

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating, "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash, twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive, but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single, "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off.

P.S. I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call 'customer service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!!

P.S.S. No one over the age of 65 could drive more than one mile before having to have a grandchild come and restart the car.

19 comments:

Michael said...

BAMM!!

Just_Lin said...

Michael You are looking absolutely fabulous today! By the way, ever see a British comedy by that name? Pretty funny.

Just_Lin said...

Zona It's very funny to think of cars in that context. Nope, we sure wouldn't put up with it then.

Tina~in_ut said...

Good Moaning~

Michael~ U look HOT in first this moaning~ I love ur avatar....named after two things I love....peas and cocks~

J/L~ U r looking beautiful this fine morning~

Zona~ thanks for the blogs u've been sending~ I really appreciate it~

Tina~in_ut said...

....that didn't come out right....i only love one cock~

sacBarb said...

Zona, That really gave me something to ponder. Why do we put up with all that crap with our computers because we certainly would have a problem if our cars really had all those issues. The McIntosh one is really funny.

J/L, Good talking to you today. Can't wait for our little slumber party.

Tina, glad you cleared that up!

Michael, BAM back at ya.

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Splat!!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Afternoon all!!

Zona that was a hoot!! Get it? Hoot...we're owls...hoot!!! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Thanks for the chuckles!!!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

OMG SacBarb we are having a sleepover?!!!? Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can we eats lots of junky food and put peoples bras and panties in the freezer and make prank phone calls and talk all night and play music and watch movies?!? Ohhhhhhhh this is going to be fun fun fun!!!!!! When and where?

sacBarb said...

Shirley, we don't have a date yet, but I'll let you know. It would be very cool if you could join us or we maybe we will prank call you!

Dianne/Denver said...

Good afternoon everyone.

Shirley--let's both go to the slumber party. It would be fun. Sac barb---do u have enough beds for all of us? I'll bring the chips and dip.

Not much new around here. I left to get my grey waged away and Louis trying to nap. He has had a better week but not today. I guess there are good and bad days.

It's hot here---90 and I don't have a pool.


Zona good blog-- I liked the

Dianne/Denver said...

Last post went before I was ready. As I was saying, I like the PSS the best.

Zona said...

Hi Guys..

Thanks mucho for the comments today. My cousin sent me this one..sometimes he can send.....strange things..but I thought this was funny..and sooo true!

MICHAEL: One more BAMM and you'd have a Rubble..just sayin.. ;D

J/LIN: It was HOT here today..please tell me it was cool there so I can live vicariously through you.. :D

BARB: As much fun as you're sure to have..why do would you call it a slumber party when everyone knows there will be very little slumbering going on? ;)

SHIRLEY: I get it! I get it! :D

TINA: You're welcome..I'll get that weekly movie one to you by morning.. ;D

DI: I'm sorry Louis is hurting more today..but hopefully soon the hurting days will become fewer and fewer..until there are none.. :)

btw..that's called premature posting!! :D

I'm beat..J/LIN I took one of my two Tylenols when I got home..I hope just one before bedtime is enough!! Don't forget yours! :)

Good night everyone..sweet dreams!

Just_Lin said...

Zona It was lovely here today; sun shining but the breeze made it a bit on the cool side.

Thanks for the Tylenol reminder. It didn't help as much last night as it did before. Hope it works good for both of us tonight.

Just_Lin said...

SacBarb Let's crank call everybody. LOL

Just_Lin said...

Shirley I never heard about the bra and panties in the freezer. Sounds kinky to me. LOL

Just_Lin said...

Dianne I hope tomorrow is better. (((HUGS))) for you and Louis.

Just_Lin said...

Michael Here's a BAMM (((HUG))) for you, too.

Just_Lin said...

Tina Thank you for keeping the blog going. I will try to get my head out of the fog and write something.