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Friday, June 29, 2012

Sunday Morning Sex

by Dianne

I will never hear church bells ringing again without smiling...

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. 

 
"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."


She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

18 comments:

Zona said...

BEBOP & SLIIIIDE!!

Good Morning!

DI: Heehee! You had me at 'in with the Ding and out with the Dong'.. :D Thanks for the laugh!

Weird day yesterday..in addition to hot..and dusty. Today has already started out a little strange..hopefully it will calm down!

Have a nice day everyone..be good! :)

Zona said...

See..too early for me..that's 'In ON the Ding..and out ON the Dong' though I guess it works either way.. ;D

Michael said...

good morning...

cute Dianne...

Tina is at this time boarding her flight to Atlanta along with all 3 kids and her Ehemann...

Just got a text...and they are off!

Michael said...

Awaiting Takeoff Salt Lake City (SLC)
Terminal 2
Gate D8 8:30am
29 Jun 8:23am
29 Jun Atlanta (ATL)
Domestic Term-South
Gate A18
29 Jun eta 2:09pm

Flight Details

Carrier: Delta
Equipment Type: 767-300

Flight Distance: 1585 miles
Travel Time: 3 hours 50 minutes

First/Business Class
Meals: Breakfast
Movie: Yes

Just_Lin said...

Zona You look mah-velous as you slide across the room. Yes, I think it works the same either way. LOL

Just_Lin said...

Michael Thanks for the flight update. Is Atlanta their final destination or are they onward and upward from there?

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Thanks for the joke. Is that your preferred method? LOL

Michael said...

Tina and her brood are boarding their flight to San Juan and willing be there at 7:08pm. They will spend 2 fun filled days there doing whatever one does in Puerto Rico!

Just_Lin said...

Michael Beautiful beach and radiant blue ocean in Puerto Rico. I assume they won't go to the cock fights. Yuck!

sacBarb said...

Di, Interesting story...and funny too. Thanks for sharing. :)

Zona, Hey Missy. You look beautiful sliding in at first. I hope all that kaboob dust doesn't start an asthma flare up for you.

Michael, only two days in SJ? Then where are they going?

J/L, from A-51: Yes I think more wine is an excellent idea. More fun too.

Michael said...

well I don't know...Tina loves a good cock fight...

But on Sunday they are all boarding the Carnival Victory for 7 fun filled days in Saint Thomas...St. Ka-titts..St.Lucia..Barbados..and St. Maarten...

I think Mr. Tina is most excited as he insisted on wearing his new underwater camera on his head...on the plane...

Michael said...

camera on head photo on FB....lol

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi Everyone.

Michael--thanks for all the flight information. It sounds like Tina and family are headed for a great trip. I will go and check on that picture.

I just came home from seeing Magic Mike at the movie with my friend. I think we were both a little disappointed. Matthew was such an old guy in the movie. I think it ruined my image of him. I like him better giggilo in other movies.

Dianne/Denver said...

Whoops. I think I spelled gigolo wrong in the last post. I looked it up this time.

I don't want to leave blog with me as 13 so I will just blad some more.

Louis went to his second PT today and is liking the person and feels like it helps him.

Thanks for the comments today. I thought this was pretty cute

I saw a cute movie attraction today with Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones. It looked pretty funny coming out this summer.

Zona--you slid in fast at first today. Hope you are feeling okay.

Hi Barb and JL---how long until your slumber party? I think is in July, right? Hope it's not a heat wave during that time.

Well, time to go as I'm running out of things to say----bye

Dianne/Denver said...

Why do I have to be last on my own blog?

Michael said...

ur not.... :)

Just_Lin said...

Michael You're not last, either. As for what Tina loves....didn't you add an extra word there?

Just_Lin said...

Dianne That's great news that Louis likes his current PT. Maybe he'll be more agreeable about it now.