Saturday, June 9, 2012

The New Alphabet

by Dianne

A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float!
Age before beauty is what we once said,

But let's be a bit more realistic instead.

The Alphabet:

A's for arthritis;
B's the bad back,
C's the chest pains,

Perhaps car-d-iac?

D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.

H  High blood pressure--I'd rather it low
I  for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.

L for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low
O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!

P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
Just give me a pill, I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T is for Tintinitus, bells in my ears!
U is for urinary, troubles with flow;
V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy', you know.

W for worry, NOW what's going 'round?
X is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y for another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind.

I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
And I'm keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!!!


Tina~in_ut said...

Good moaning!!!!!

Thanks for the blogs, Dianne!!!~

Maureen said...


Maureen said...

Morning TUNA! Sorry I plopped on you!

Maureen said...

DIANNE...very cute!!

Lynn D said...

Morning Glories!

Zona your blog yesterday was hilarious.

Dianne this one not so much since it hits to close to home. :)

Hope everyone is going to have a wonderful day. Woke up to some actual sunshine here so maybe.....

Lynn D said...

Waving at Mo and Tina!!!

Zona said...

Well hellllllooooo Owls!

DI: I always thought A was for apple and J was for Jacks.. ;D

Omg..E..K..M..oh forget it..just about every single one of them just SUCKS getting old..

I think this would be a good time for..

♫Red Solo Cup♫

..don't you? ;D

Zona said...

TINA: You seem so very!! excited!! to be in First today!!!!! :D

MO: I don't think you need to apologize..imho..technically you PLOPPED under TINA..well..unless she steps in it that is.. ;D

LYNN: I worked hard getting that sunshine up to you..enjoy!! :D

It's already in the mid 80's many days til Christmas? ;)

Better get going..farms to check..people to see..have a nice day everyone!


Shirley(NCC-1701) said...


Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Morning/afternoon owls!

Dianne this version of the alphabet SUCKS!!! I want the other version back, it's easier to sing to!

Just_Lin said...

Tina Good moaning to you, too!!!!! You're always so good looking in the morning. How do you do it?

Just_Lin said...

MO You can plop here anytime as long as it isn't on top of someone else. ;)

Just_Lin said...

LynnD Sunshine? I hope you are out taking advantage of it.

Just_Lin said...

Zona We might have to take those red solo cups away from you..... ijs.

Just_Lin said...

Shirley Isn't it great what you have to look forward to? When you get old and lose teeth, the tooth fairy doesn't even bother to come.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Thanks for the blog. Should I consider myself lucky that I only have half of those things listed? I may have some not on the list.....hmmm....I didn't think of that. :(

sacBarb said...

Dianne, Well, that's me from A to Z!
Seeing it in print has really depressed me. Thanks!

I do hope that this will be a better week for you and Louis.

sacBarb said...

Mo, I'm glad I'm way down here so I can duck when I see you plop!

Lynn, I hope you're out in the sunshine.

Zona, LOL @ Apple Jacks.

Shirley, I hope I can avoid your splat too. It's getting pretty messy in here.

J/L, I have some not on the list too. What happened to the golden years?

Tina, moaning to you too.

Just_Lin said...

SacBarb Fool's gold? LOL

sacBarb said...

J/L, LOL Well, I am sure fooled!

Just_Lin said...

SacBarb I always suspected it was just propaganda.

Just_Lin said...

So, I was sitting in my car at a red light today when a large, black crow walked across the street in the cross walk directly in front of me, bold as you please. LOL I guess he needed to go shopping at Safeway.

Maureen said...

Plastic ponchos are hanging on the coat tree (get it? LOL)and I have put down chuks for all the plopping and splatting going on in here!

JUST LIN...that was one smart use the cross walk!

SAC BARB...Goggles for you, too...since you are looking up!

Maureen said...

I spent the afternoon shoe shopping. What a nightmare. I started at PayLess looking for the shoes I saw on line. No such luck. I can give them the number and they will order them. Eh.
Then I went to the outlet mall. I haven't been back there in 5 years. I was again, sorely disappointed. I don't consider 40 - 60 dollars for casual summer shoes a bargain.

Just_Lin said...

MO I hate shoe shopping even more than clothes shopping. I have a wide foot and a high arch and it's a bitch to find anything that fits me properly.

Just_Lin said...

I meant a high instep...not arch.

Maureen said...

JUST LIN...that's why I try to shop at PayLess because they carry wide widths. I have bought these shoes there every summer. They are so comfy and they don't make my foot look so wide! Gah.

Just_Lin said...

MO At least with those you know what size works for you.

Maureen said...

JUST LIN...true. maybe I will buy a pre-paid visa and just order them. I don't like to put credit card info on the internet. Call me old fashioned!

Just_Lin said...

MO Maybe they have customer service people you can talk to and order that way. Do you not order over the phone, either?

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi. Well it doesn't sound like u all liked my a,b,c's today. I was able to relate to a lot of them ---unfortunately.

MO: I don't like to shoe shop either. I don't really do it much anymore as with my leg problems I usually wear the same kind of shoe just in a couple of different colors. I'm really sick of the shoe, its expensive and I think it's ugly but what's a girl to do.......

JL: good point---why doesn't the tooth fairy come anymore? I hear they give big bucks to kids now and I could use some of those. I wonder if it means good luck to have a big crow cross in front of your car? Maybe u will win the lotto (if u bought a ticket)

SacBarb: I'm sorry I depressed u today with my blog lol. It kind of depressed me too!!

Shirley: tell me how u really feel about my blog? Now that u said that u have to send Tina a couple of blogs.

Speaking of Tina --- I up there miss Tina. Have u been to Olive Garden lately for your favorite lemon cake? It won't be long before the pumpkin cheesecake is there. They usually start it in August.

Dianne/Denver said...

Lynn: hope that sun lasted all day and hopefully tomorrow too. Isn't it amazing how different you can feel when the sun is shining?

Zona: it's always time for Red Solo Cup. Toby is in concert here next week but no one wanted to go see him but me so guess what? I'm not going. Boo hoo
I don't know how many days until Christmas but I know how many months to my Birthday. Does that count for anything?

Louis had a big day today and went to lunch with my uncle and dinner with my brother. It was too much for a day for him. He is snoring zzzzz's in his chair. He was pretty confused tonight too. He is still on a lot of drugs.

Well, that's pretty much it from this side of the U S. Boring so I might go get some ice cream.

Hi Michael in case you r peeking in.

Hope everyone has a nice night and something exciting to tell me!!!!

Tinka said...

Summer isn't over but I felt like flying in as a break from sitting on my deck and watching my flowers grow.

Dianne - I read your blog and wondered if that is what I have to look forward to when I get old. Thank God that's years away.

Maureen - I don't like buying shoes either and when I do it's at Payless. I can't wear high heels, never could.

Tina - Why are you still moaning? Are you in pain? I will send you some meds.

Lynn - We had sun today too. About every 4th day the weather is nice. When is summer coming?

Just_Lin - I am glad it wasn't Friday the 13th when the black crow crossed in front of you. I would be worried.

Zona - You promised me twenty degrees of heat and I am still waiting. Did you send it by Express? Never mind I know your heart was in it when you tried. Stay cool, my BFF.

Sac Barb - That blog isn't about you. You are still a young lady in my eyes.

Shirley - If you try really hard you can sing that alphabet song. It would be easier to do that than to write two blogs.

It was our darling granddaughter's 5th birthday today. (Jack calls her "The Princess").
She had a party with her friends. I talked to her on the phone and she sounded so excited. Next weekend they will come here and we will have another little party.

Well that's it for me for a while. I have almost finished the DVD of Tango. It's so cute if I say so myself. Love to all and Hugs to my sweet Michael.