Friday, June 15, 2012

For All You Lexophiles (Lovers of Words)

by Zona

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.

2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).

3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes.

6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.

7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

10. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

17. Every calendar's days are numbered.

18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.

19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

22. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.


Dianne/Denver said...

Good morning everyone. Happy Friday

Dianne/Denver said...

Sleeping with a kicking grandchild will wake you early every time!!!

Mo: hope u r enjoying your time off. Is you weather pretty hot now?

Zona--- fun blog. My husband will really like these. I liked them all so couldn't even pick one.

Don't have much to write this time of morning. The nest is sparkling clean (you are welcome very much), jello shots made and in refrig, matt out for any bamms. Splats, or kerplops this morning. Yup everything done

Now if I can just keep my granddaughters from fighting with each other it will be a nice day.

Btw, Louis drove for the first time yesterday. He took no meds so he could go to the Apple store (his favorite place to go) and did pretty well.

sacBarb said...

Dianne, you look beautiful even if you may have bruises from a kicking GD.

Zona, These remind me of when I was a kid and bought bubble gum. There was always a joke like these inside and I loved them. These were all very funny.

Like Confucius says, "man who fly upside down have hairy crack up."

sacBarb said...

P.S. Thanks for the Jello shots, Dianne. It's close enough to noon here to have one...or two...or...

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Well, look at you! If you got up early, it sure took you a long time to get into the nest. Were you cooking for the grandkids? One way to keep them from fighting is to take them to a movie and you sit between them. Speaking of movies, I want to see "Moonrise Kingdom". Have you seen the ads on TV for it?

Just_Lin said...

SacBarb I remember those bubble gums. I gave them up, though, in favor of the kind that came with a pack of Elvis cards. Boy, I collected a lot of those. I had them taped inside my closet doors like a big Elvis display. I was always so excited when I'd open a pack of gum and sort through the cards inside and find a new one that I hadn't collected yet.

Just_Lin said...

Zona Those made my head spin. LOL I need more coffee. I really slept in today.

Jodi said...

ZONA - Love the play on words!!

Jodi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jodi said...

DIANNE - Glad Louis was able to go out Med free yesterday!! Have fun with your GD's ♥

Jodi said...

BARB - I'll join u....cheers!!

Jodi said...

SLIN - I've seen the trailer, and it looks fabulous!!

Jodi said...

Jake will b home soon from the pool (although he still wants to go to Phoenix just to swim in ZONA'S!!!). I have a load of laundry to fold and then we're off to his game.