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Tuesday, June 26, 2012

~ Reasons for Sensitivity Training for Men ~

by Tina~in_ut

· I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we’re stoning her in the morning!

· My wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did. She’s 25 and her name is Kathy.

· Went to our local bar with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 24 and I’m 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.

· My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that’s three schools this year! You’d better stop before you’re banned from teaching altogether."

· The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can’t afford batteries.

· A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"

· I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated, but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven’t been listening."

· My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.

· The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we’d love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.

14 comments:

Tina~in_ut said...

Good Moaning ~

Michael said...

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated, but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven’t been listening."

good one...lmao

Tina~in_ut said...

Michael dear ~ I thought of u saying that to me when I read it!!!!!!~

Michael said...

NOOO!!!! Really? lol

Just_Lin said...

Tina Good morning. I guess I found those to be very off-putting.

Just_Lin said...

Michael Feel a draft?

Michael said...

J/L...lol

a welcome draft....I am more cognizant of beautiful bodies now more than ever that I am withering away...

I look like I am melting....

Just_Lin said...

I'm sorry Michael. I guess I look like I'm melting, too, but it's called "aging".

Dianne/Denver said...

Good afternoon Everyone.....

Hmmm, those were interesting Tina---different but interesting.

Michael---you look nice and cool for the day. Are you getting any of that storm up your way?

Hi JL---well, one of our big fires exploded this morning and more homes lost. Can u see if Custard could come and hel please?

Went for some Chinese food for lunch---yummy. I hadn't had that for a long time. I went with a cousin and my 87 year old aunt. It was a nice visit. Now I'm home thinking about doing my "today" project. As you can hear, I'm only thinking about it.

sacBarb said...

Happy Tuesday Owls.

Tina, I, like J/L, found those off putting. Given some stories in the news lately, I don't laugh at things I did in the past, especially pedophile jokes. Sorry!

I am off soon to usher again for Grease. I have seen this show about 10 times and have loved it and the music every time until last night. The music was good, but the actors in the Sandy and Danny parts just didn't do it for me. They had no chemistry and Danny couldn't dance. I wasn't expecting John Travolta, however this guy was really clutzy. Maybe tonight will be better. So far, I'm not 'hopelessly devoted' to this cast.

Waving to Michael, J/L, Dianne, and all the other Owls. I hope you are all having a good day.

Maureen said...

ZONA...I didn't know you're 25 and your side job!!

Waving at all you feathered friends!

Just_Lin said...

Hi, MO! Waving back!

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi MO.....what's up?

Our fires are worse tonight and we have a new huge one in Colorado Springs. Some of the Air Force Academy has been evacuated. Horrible ---people losing their homes.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Yes, horrible fires and devastation.