Yep, That's Me, Controlling!

i know this about me, it stares
me in the face daily, i have control
issues, the thing that worries me
is when i am in the moment i don't
see it, till after the issue is done
i then sit back and ponder why the
heck did i need to control that situation

and yes, at times i make a huge problem
for others and they don't want to tell
me that i am a total control freak, so instead
they back away

several yrs ago my younger cousin was
getting married, she ask me to be a bridesmaid
in her wedding, we are 18yrs apart and i asked
her if she was sure she wanted me by her
side, she then said "my wedding without
you would not be complete" so i accepted her
offer, as i know she loves me

when she was picking out the dresses i was
all over her, telling her the color, what type of gown
etc. she appeased me and let me chatter on

as several days went by and i did not hear from her
i called her sister, and without hesitation her sister
told me to back off, and she was right,
i was thankful she allowed me to see one
of my biggest faults

my cousin and i had a good chat about it
and all was fine, she got married and i wore
exactly what she picked out

this incident always resurfaces in my
memory, whenever i find myself controlling a issue

i used to hope this incident taught me a lesson
however it does not seem it did, as i
still have this huge fault and just can't
seem to get past it

can it just me part of my personality or
part of my being? would i not be me if i was
not controlling?

something to think about, which i will
all day~~