~ Epilepsy ~

by Tina~in_ut

For IBB

There is nothing in the world like waking up from a deep sleep to see paramedics standing over you. The feeling of dread is overwhelming. You want answers, but so do they.

"What is your name?" "Tina."
"What day is it?" "I don't know.....but I never know!"
"Who is the President?" "I don't know that either, but I know I don't like him!"

They chuckle and go about their business, which just happens to be me. I look over at my family to gauge from the look on their faces how bad it was this time. I forget that it's always bad. I fall back into a deep sleep. I wake up again as I'm being wheeled into the ER. I look at the cute Paramedic and tell him that I remember who the President is......Clinton! I knew I didn't like him! They tell the staff that my sense of humor is intact and that I'm in pretty good shape. I know better. I know my license will be taken away, which quite frankly, I don't mind. I know that this will be hard on my husband because he will have to drive me everywhere again. I can't stand being a burden. BUT......although I'm bruised and have a monster headache, I'm ever so grateful that I did not hurt anyone else.

I didn't get my driver's license until I was 22 years old. My doctor would not sign off on it. I found out later that many others would have. It's okay though. I have always had a fear that I would have a seizure while driving and hurt an innocent person. It terrified me when my children were younger. Now my kids know how to grab the wheel and keep the car straight, at the very least. I've been lucky that all my seizures have been at home.....most in the bathroom. I don't know what it is about the tiny space, but twice I had just turned off the water after a shower. Can you imagine the poor souls that had to get me out of there?!! Once it was my sister and the other time my sister-in-law! I owe them big time. My sister says she is scarred for life.....and not from the seizure.......it was my nekkidness~

I don't ever think about my epilepsy until something either happens to me or someone I know. It's just an every day part of my life. I realize that I could be really hurt by it or worse. I'm fine with that.....as long as no one else is hurt. IBB, although you miss your friend, I can guarantee you that she is eternally grateful that no one else was hurt when it was her time. Although extremely saddened, her granddaughter is okay and was not hurt and was lucky enough to spend her grandma's last moments with her. I don't suppose you will ever understand the loss of your friend, but hopefully it will comfort you knowing that you have one more angel in Heaven watching over you. Maybe Dale can even help protect you from all those bears~ xoxoxoxo