by Jennifer
Yes, I'm the Poo Goddess. I flush more poo a day than I care to think about. :) We have 350 children at our school, and none of them seem to like to flush their poo. Every day we walk down the hall for our bathroom and drink break. We have three of those breaks every day and every day we go into the bathroom and there is poo floating in the toilet. None of the children will use the toilet until someone flushes it, which is usually me. I really didn't envision this when I dreamed of being a teacher, but Poo Goddess I am!
Now when I go to the movies or mall there is always a toilet full of poo. I never flush it. I just go to the next stall, because it makes me gag which, by the way, is why I totally try to avoid public bathrooms. However, flushing poo at school just comes second nature. I need to get the bathroom/drink break done quickly, so I just hurry up and flush.
This poo blog came to mind from little Alyssa. Little Alyssa is very petite and quiet. Well, on Monday she came running to me with a very panicked look on her face. "Mrs. Masini, Mrs. Masini my poo is too big to flush, I can't get it down. Please help me!" said little Alyssa. Well, like any caring teacher I ran down to the bathroom and it flushed for me. She was so relieved and thankful. I explained to her sometimes poo does that and you just have to wait and flush again.
So to sum it all up, some days, I feel like a Poo Goddess! :)
52 comments:
good morning!!
Assisting a child is a given...when my son was being potty trained flushing was a problem. I think he considered his wittle poopies possessions and/or a part of him and watching them being carried away in a whirlpool seemed bother him....like..."where are my poopies going!!?"
I always told him that they were trudging ahead on life's journey and would be waiting for him when he grows up.......and wouldn't you know that once again Mother was right.....He has encountered his crap many times along lifes road...
which brings me to the moral of this story.....
"Life is a shit sandwich. But if you've got enough bread, you don't taste the shit"
Morning Glories!
Ummm I would say Deedee is the prettiest but, those lips! Yikes
Jennifer LOL oh I remember the days when all it felt like was I was a warrior of Poo sanitation and clean up. At one point I had two in diapers and a dog that refused to shit outside. The dog was the worst as it took great delight in shitting on anything of Mr. Lynn D's that he left on the floor. Once he left a pair of jeans and the damn dog pooped right on the pocket. To this day I am trying to figure out how it was so precise.
Mo we did not walk arms entwined at any point but we had a great time watching the confused and panicked men circle the jewelry counter,electronics aisle (you know they were trying to figure out how to convince there Valentine that it was really for them that they spent so much money on the 51 inch TV), oh and the really desperate in housewares. LOL, The rule in my house is if I have to use it to cook, clean etc....then it is NOT a gift. It is a household expense.
Darling I love you here is a lovely vacuum cleaner! SUCK this buddy!
Really how much does he love you if he has to cruise Costco on Valentines Day for a gift? LMAO
Waving at everyone!
Happy President's Day Owls.
Jennifer, I think you certainly have more than your share of poo to deal with. I never had a problem with my kids flushing their poo. In fact they loved to flush so much, they would find other things to flush, which made life very interesting. I have had more than MY share of wiping up overflowing toilets.
Dee, BAM! and ewwwwwww!
Lynn, LMAO. My Hubby once got me a lawn mower for my birthday, but it was a joke. He really had a one karat diamond ring to replace my original engagement ring which was MUCH smaller. In fact, I think it was diamond dust. The kids thought it would be funny to give me the lawn mower. Lucky for him, he had the real gift.
Mo, from A-51 ...and you'll find, they laugh alike, they walk alike, at times they even talk alike,you can lose your mind, when cousins are two of a kind.
Jennifer: I, too, find myself almost retching when I go into a public restroom and have to flush the toilet! Yuck!
Hi, DeeDee, Lynn D, and SacBarb!
From several days ago... Goldie, yes, I hope we are still on! Let's make some plans....!
Well poop! I was a little confused with the picture of Keith Urban and the title "Poop Goddess" on top, LOL! My eyes have since adjusted.
I can't say as I can relate Jennifer. You may need a "poop" crown", hmmm, I'll have to work on that for Chi Town lol!!
Dee,Dee, there isn't enough bread! ijs!
LynnD,Sounds like your dog had poop issues. Did Mr LynnD get trained to not leave his clothes on the floor?
SacBab, I can relate to the potty overflow! I used to go through a lot of disinfectants!!
Whabbear, my worst experiences were at campsite/cabins and beach bathrooms. Too icky to mention!!
I hope you all have a poop-les day...wait, let me rephrase that! I hope you all don't have poop issues.. well, shit,you know what I mean lol!!
It all sounds kind of shitty to me!
JENNIFER...funny blog! My friend's son had retention issues. He refused to poop. How he held it in amazed me, cuz sometimes I am sure I am gonna shit my pants in a moments notice! Anyways, when he finally let himeself poopie, it would be HUGE and SOLID like a rock. His mom or dad had to wait outside the door and when he was done they had to cut it up with a plastic knife before it would flush! Talk about gross!!
SACBARB...I knew someone would finsih he lyrics!! I think I am Cathy cuz I am so sweet!!
MARY...the pooh crown will be quite lovely, I'm sure!!
Snowing again...and expected to every fricking day this week. Grrr!
Guess what I'm doing? Poopin'~ At least I'm trying to.....don't want to force it....don't want a roid blog~ ijs~
DeeDee~ Congrats on #2~ I'm sure your son has seen a buttload of his shit since he's grown~ I read Janice the moral of your story and she couldn't stop laughing~
LynnD~ It takes a certain special kinda dog to be able to poop on a pocket~ :)~
Sacky~ I would have sold the lawn mower~ :D
Bear~ Don't you guys cast, shake, and reel it in?
Mary~ If you bring a poop crown, I'm not going~
Shirley~ (I almost wrote shitty) How was ur day?
Mo~ I have huge ones that just won't flush....never thought of using a knife~ Great idea...thanks~
Jennifer~ When my twins were 2 yrs old, they both decided to take off their poopy diapers in their cribs and decorate every inch of their cribs and themselves with their poop~ They were supposed to be napping~ That would be the day of their very first shower! I was furious~ The older kid never did anything like that~ Oh wait....the older one would sit on the potty and grunt until his face turned red.....all the way up to his ears.....we still tease him by showing him the face he made~ good times~ :D
HA! you guys are cracking me up!
Who knew a blog about poo could be so craptastic!
Jen..
I could not even imagine having to go to the bathroom and then flushing someone elses poo, even if it is a child's poo.. I guess that comes with the terriority of your job.. cause if you did not flush the poo, all the toilets would back up.. and that, well OMG some nasty shit!
So I give you kudos for flushing!
:O)
Dee..
Life is a shit sandwich.. lol
Sacbarb..
You know the song!!!!!
well hiya, Carol-poo~
OMG Tina.. plz poop in private!!!!!
no! I feel one coming....just waiting here patiently~
Mo..
LMAO.. cutting the shit.. OMG..
Tina.. if you are really on the toilet right now I am going to puke!
Sacbarb..
Was the lawn mower motorized one, cause if it was that would be kinda neat to drive around in it with a diamond on your finger.. lol
I have never cut with a knife, but I do "mercy flush"
:O)
Sometimes you just have to let it marinate to soften up. Hmmmm, wonder if meat tenderizer sprinkled in the toilet would work, too!!
I remember my little cousin always had to take all his clothes off to poop.. so cute!
Mo!!!!
Oh no.. yuck! lol
Mo..
We are getting snow here to tomorrow.. it is suppose to start tonite, but only expecting 3 to 6 inches, much better than the 16 inches we got last week..
So I will def be @ work tomorrow, just might have to leave early..
Will you go into work?
I'm really really REALLY glad this isn't a smell-a-blog~ ijs~
Tina did not come back, she must be constipated.. lol
nope....the exact opposite~
Tina.. oh there you are.. yes, I am happy, this is not a smellblog..
Tina..
You are totally gross!!! but awfully glad you had a good poop for the day..
:O)
never said I was done, Carol~ maybe i should take a break tho~ Gotta make dinner~ ....but then again...gotta make room for dinner~ what a dilemma~
Tina.. lol..
Is it your turn or mine for tomorrows blog?
CAROL...yes, I will be at work tomorrow. Job security is still tenous, so I will be there. Lot's to do there everyday...regardless of the weather. I just take my time and if I am late,then I allowed to stay later to make up the time
We have one! Mine on Wednesday~ :D
Mo..
You are such a trooper.. smart to take your time.. kinda like Tina pooping.. lol
Tina..
Ok.. then me Thursday..
TINA...I hope you washed your hands...ijs!
I am going home..
see you all later..
Oh, Mo.. you are sooo right.. and she is cooking.. Yikes!
yay~!
Hi Mo~
Gotta go......youngest is cutting the cheese...and he doesn't do it right...gotta go show him~ bbl~
TINA...don't you cut the cheese before you poop...not after??? ija!
Mo~ depends on how the pooping went~ Mine didn't go so well~ Only half a deposit~ ijs~
You guys are all just gross!!
Tina my day was ok, thanks for asking. We were quite busy at work for a while then it slowed down so we were able to get caught up on everything.
Tomorrow I have an early appointment at the hospital, then blood work, and then go to the office. After work I want to go to mum's cause they are calling for a storm tomorrow night and Wednesday.
Doing all this and trying to deal with diabetis is hard. But coming here I'm sure to get a laugh everyday. Forgive me if I don't always post. Good night everyone! I hope someone cleans all this shit up...oh and by the way we are out of toilet paper. TINA!!!
lmbo Shirley~ Guess what I'm doing again?! I wish it would all come out! I'm having the hardest time deciding between farts and sharts...so i just keep coming in here~ Thought the daughter would take her laptop from me by now~
Our company was supposed to be gone tonight.....out to dinner.....but he got sick and they are here.....cramping my style! I've got farming and grading and blogging to do! Good thing i gotta poop, huh? :)~
jake is an ass...imho
I tell you what this Poo Goddess is feeling pooped tonight.
It was a lot of fun reading everyones poopy stories. They made me laugh.
Oh, and btw do not eat more then two of those carmel fiber bars in a row. NASTY
omg,I just saw the coolest story on Nightline. There is a Panda sanctuary where they are trying to improve the mating of the Pandas. It seems the male libido is lacking, so they show the male panda bears...PANDA PORN!! They have videos of pandas mating...sound effects and all!! You have to watch it if it has yet to air in your time zone!!
CAROL: Hasn't TINA ever called you from the bathroom? It is her favorite room to blog and call from. I know how much she poops and farts and I can just hardly wait to share a room with her in Chicago. I am bring my spray lysol!!!
SHIRLEY: Thanks for once not to say that I had to clean up. This was a good one to get out of as I have a weak tummy.
My dad used to always tell us to "pull the chain" when we were going poop. We never knew what the heck he was talking about until we were older and to this day....I pull the chain the whole time I poop cause the first time I don't it backs up and that is plain nasty....and btw, did I say that I had a weak tummy?
Everyone has been so good at sending in blogs...look how long CAROL AND TINA have had the days off and it proves we can blog about any old thing!
I WISH TINK was here to talk about the Olympics. It was so moving tonight when they showed the guy from Canada getting his gold and everyone singing Old Canada. It was about as emotional to me as the darn crowning of Miss America and everyone knows how I am about award shows. He was so proud and so was the crowd and I think all of us watching felt the very same way regardless of where you are from. I feel so bad when the skaters fall down when the triple twirl. I really enjoy the winter Olympics.
I am trying to do some desk work tonight as I watch tv but I am taking too many breaks.
Mo, I think I will pass, it doesn't take much to get me excited lately, and the Mr isn't available lol!!
See yah all tomorrow. I have an apptmt with my eye specialist tomorrow in the big city. I hope the snow quits soon!
Diane, Tina should bring her own defogger! ijs!
Now get back to work! I am heading to bed.......
mary: I'm not taking any chances on TINA'S defogger..I will bring a few with me. I'll do to her like I do to the MR...spray it up her butt!!! PS I didn't send this snow to you this time.....
I am getting so much done tonight but getting kind of tired now.
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