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Thursday, September 9, 2010

Worst Pick Up Lines

by Shirley

Just call me milk, I'll do your body good.

Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock.

I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

My love for you is like the Energizer bunny, it keeps going and going.

Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way, right away.

I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.

Is that Windex you're wearing? Because I can see myself in your pants.

I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

Wanna play house? You be the screen door and I'll slam you all night long.

Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine.

I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.

If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?

I love every bone in your body - especially mine.

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

Hi, I'm a necrophiliac, how good are you at playing dead?

I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.



Does anyone have any pick up lines they have used or were used on them that could possible be worst than these? After reading these I'm glad I have remained single!

27 comments:

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
MMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!!!!

How's that for moaning my way into 1st!?!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

I liked the windex one!

night.owls.sb said...

Morning Shirley..

I like # 5.. lol

night.owls.sb said...

Goldie..

Glad you had great birthday...

night.owls.sb said...

Mo..

up @ 1am.. soo what were you doing?
:O)

and

next Saturday is the wedding.. the 18th..

night.owls.sb said...

Dianne..

You are certainly in my thoughts.. do not beat yourself up for any choices you have made.. you must do what is comfy for you.. Hoping you feel better soon..

night.owls.sb said...

Shirley..

Wow that was orgasmic!!!!!!

night.owls.sb said...

ok.. off and running..

oh..

Had a interview with a outside travel agent yesterday.. its looking good.. he is even willing to come in and answer phones.. just working on $$$$$.. so cross your fingers and toes for me.. kay? thks..

Lynn D said...

Morning Glories!

Oh Lord Shirley is moaning this morning!!

Ok I noticed an overload of fast food pick up lines in the group. Which makes me think that if anyone ever uses those on you the idiot is a cheap bastard and you know where they would take you for dinner, if they even considered that in the first place. imjs

Lynn D said...

Wishing you luck Carol!

Dianne/Denver said...

Morning.....and moaning to you SHIRLEY!!! Well, I only slept two hours..wonder if it was too much sleep yesterday? I don't like to be up this early as it makes for a very long day although, I have PT at 3pm today.

CAROL, lots of luck with your perspective employee!

Morning Lynn....loved your card about the lemons and it hit the nail on the head~!!!!! Someone understands me, yea!!!

Well, I might try and get some more sleep......

goldie said...

Good Morning and Morning oh beautiful Shirley!! Good morning Carol, Lynn and Dianne!

Good luck Carol!

I like the "screw your brains out" one.

Mary/MI said...

Well crap, just wrote a long comment and it disappeared! I had a feeling I should have copied & pasted!

Shirley, were you alone when you had the orgasmic "moaning" this morning?
Worst pick up line to me was "oh baby, I could learn to love you" wtf?
A few lines my girlfriends & I heard in High School were " I can't get you preggy, I am sterile" & If I don't "get off" I will get soooo sick"
Well, them "sterile" guys now have kids & the others are quite healthy in spite of our "holding out" lol!!

I am still busy with my VFW Treas. stuff (membership time)and getting ready for my trip. I am packing like I am leaving this week end. It really helps me not forget thinks! I don't worry about forgetting things when traveling in USA. In other countries you need different wall adapters for all things electric, etc.
Have a great everyone!

Mary/MI said...

Don't "have a "great everyone" sounds kinky, "Have a great DAY everyone!! LOL!!

whabbear said...

I dunno, Mary! I thought "Have a great everyone" was a pretty good pick-up line!

Hi everybody! Been MIA lately, life continues to be a busy mess. I can hardly wait to be able to sleep back in my condo again! This commuting sucks.

Dianne, thinking of you!

sacBarb said...

Happy Thursday Owls.

Shirley, I had a blind date once when I was in High School. He turned out to be a real jerk. After we were introduced he said "If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" Years later I heard those same words in a country song and it brought back memories of that idiot.

sacBarb said...

Carol, Lots-o-luck with the outside agent.

Waving also to Lynn, Di, Goldie, Mary, Bear and all the other Owls. Have a good day.

Tina~in_ut said...

O M G ! ! ! ! ! !

I just saw my first porno! I went with my cousins to see The American. George at his finest. I walked outta there so wet....I've been wiping ever since I got home~ :)~

Tina~in_ut said...

well that picture was just ALL wrong~ This one is better~ I've got to go.....maybe I'll try a shopvac....that may do the trick~

Zona said...

Hi Guys!

SHIRLEY: I can't believe that any one of the guys that used these lines ever got a date! The Fred Flintstone one would make me laugh though. I was once asked in a bar what I'd like for breakfast..I actually told him..my friends were laughing their butts off. I had no clue it was a pick up line!

btw SHIRLEY..excellent moaning this morning!

CAROL: Good Luck! I've got my eyes, toes, fingers and legs crossed for you! Let me know when I can uncross them..I'd hate to get stuck this way.. ;)

DIANNE: I think I read somewhere that there's a football game on tonight..just in case you're interested... ;)

GOLDIE: I like that one too..oh and Pinkys Up!

MARY: Just a reminder..don't forget your phone! :D

SACBARB: How did you answer him? I have a feeling he never used that line again!

HI BEAR!

TINA: Sounds like this would be a great time to test out a ShamWow..

The new washer is working good so far..two more loads and I should be all caught up..yay!

Have a good night everyone!

Lynn D said...

Evening All owls!

Mary I am quite worried about you. The US State Dept. has issued a travel warning and advisory to all Americans traveling abroad. Please be very careful.

Dianne glad you got the card and you enjoyed it. It made me smile.

I have another sinus headache so I am going to go lay down.

East Bay J said...

Hi hooters,

Shirley, loved the pick up lines today!

And congrats on being the most gorgeous this morning!

Just a quick fly by, I have a vacation day tomorrow so can catch up on blogs.

Hope you all had a nice day!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Evening Owls! Loved all your comments! These pick up lines are pretty cheesey! I would be curious to know what pick up lines your hubbies or SSO's used in their wild days. Do you think they would tell you and then you could tell us?

Carol I hope things work out for you at your business. ((HUGS))

Mary I never moan and tell!

Lynn I hope your headache goes away.

(((((HUGS))))) Dianne, just because.

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

SacBarb it wasn't one of the Bellamy Brothers that said that to you was it?

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Nighty night Owls!
Thanks again!

Mary/MI said...

LynnD, I did not hear that though I am not surprised. I was just telling Mr Mary to "remind me not to make plans to go to Europe around 9/11 again!

Carol, wishing you the best of luck!

Diane, XOXOXOXOX

Tina, I hope you have gotten that leak stopped! I need to see that movie! I will remember to wear my panty liners lol!!

Whabby, I didn't know you were commuting. I am protestant ;-) I know...g-r-o-a-n!!

Maureen said...

SHIRLEY...fun blog!! I can't remember any bizarre pick up lines...those days are soooooo long ago! I do remember a guy sitting down at the table I was at and asked me to marry him...so he could get a green card!!

ZONA...you are giving me an image of a pretzel!!!

CAROL...fingers, toes, eyeballs, arms and legs crossed for you!! Let us know. And the wedding is destined to be perfect...they are getting married on Yom Kippur...the holiest day of the year!! YAY for them!

DIANNE...hope you got some more sleep.

MARY...don't forget to pack me in your luggage! I hear SHIRLEY and CAROL are coming, too!!! bwahahaha

TINA...LOL@needing a shop vac!!

SACBARB...someone actually used that line? OY!!

LYNN...hope you're feeling better.

EBJ...enjoy your vacation day!

BEAR...nice to see you.

GOLDIE...have you recovered from the partying?