by Shirley
I found some bumper stickers that I thought I would share with you. Hope you get a laugh or two out of them like I did! For some reason #2 and #10 made me think of Bonachichi and DeeDee. And #12 & 13 made me think of Dianne. #17 had Lynn D written all over it, especially when she talks about the food bank and how crazy it gets. Enjoy!!
1. I love animals, they taste great.
2. Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
3. I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
4. Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
5. I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
6. Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
7. If you are psychic - think "HONK"
8. Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
9. All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets
10. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
11. Make yourself at home .....clean my kitchen
12. Keep honking, I'm reloading.
13. Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
14. Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
15. A fool and his money are a girl's best friend.
16. I is a college student.
17. Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.
59 comments:
BAM!!
Morning Glories!
BAM! Back at you DeeDee! I must say you are so lovely this morning you are attracting birds!
Lets see Shirley wants someone to short sheet my bed (from area 51) and now she says I am losing my mind! I think she is gas lighting me. Huuuurmph.
Deedee I thought I will let you know now that I am not going to put those bent and broken Cherry trees on my farm. I just don't like them. I think they were genetically engineered as the all have the same kink in the middle.
I love love love the willow trees but will be researching something with color. Tho I am thinking about turning my farm into a corporate industrial complex. Did you see the lovely factories we can now add??? Hmmm I am thinking I will buy a few of those and then move all of the jobs, of making sugar, wheat and butter offshore and hire low wage slave labor.
Who the hell is in control at FT! How bout some buildings where we can line our animals up so that they look like factory farms and I would like to buy some smog to go with those lovely factories oh and don't forget chain link fencing and rabid dogs patrolling the slave labor.
Better yet some small children to churn the butter with their tiny delicate feet. Won't have to pay them much.
OOps I think I went on a tangent this morning.
I love these! lol.....but Shirley! Once when I was accused of stealing from your island you said "don't try to pin it on that sweet innocent DeeDee".....or something to that effect...I thought I had you fooled!! Guess not huh?
But #2 is true you know.....and I love #12.....this is the horniest town I have ever seen!!
I fantasize about a having a remote to make their tires go flat or make their car explode....but my favorite is making a hand appear that slaps the "honk" right out of em!
So you could say that Aggieland is filled with "Honkies"...
A friend of mine has a fancy BMW that has electric screens on the back passenger windows as well as the big back glass....and I thought....what a great way to communicate...you know...put your message on that rear screen and when they honk...raise it and display your feelings.....lol
I always remember that I was going to make a sign with a handle when somebody honks because I don't proceed quickly enough to suit them when the light changes.....
you know...like those hand held fans with the handle....or I may just use a hand mirror and have my different little "all occasion" signs like slip-covers.....
The signs are the best way to go.....people just act crazy when I wave my gun at them....or in that one mans situation....shoot their hubcaps...
omg! Lynn!!! ROFLMAO!!!
the entire post! All of it! I love it!!
Shirley's blog already had me in a good mood but now between the 2 of you I am really enjoying this morning.....
Shirley,what a hilarious blog! The replies just as funny! I am not feeling very clever or funny this first day of spring as I woke up to white stuff coming down and sticking on the ground!
I once saw a bumper sticker that confused me. When I finally got it I couldn't stop laughing.Prolly cuz I am one lol! It was....
Dyslectics "UNTIE"
BTW,DeeDee,are you having personality issues?
Kinda Jeckly/Hide? You go from the Queen of England to God-knows-what! It's the first day of spring. Can I see something more "Springy" lol!!
bbl I have to head to the big city. crap! I hate snowy roads!
I don't know what you mean Mary....
Good Morning Hooters!
congrats on 1st DeeDee..
LOL at your blog Shirley- and lynn and DeeDee.
I'm with Mary- brain not functioning enough yet to be witty.
I love the bumper sticker: PMS-permissible man slaughter. My neighbor has it on her van and I smile everytime I see it. (She also has 6 kids).
Company coming- have to get the roast in the slow cooker and my house cleaned for overnight guests. Was going to yesterday but got sidetracked at the casino.....
Shirley I have made up my own new bumper sticker.
"Lost my mind in my own virtual world"
I was going to move my factories to my Island Paradise, but once again this morning I cannot access the sucker! When I finally got in yesterday some of you, I won't name names, evidently went on a spree to steal my dragon kite and almost all of my rubber trees. I know who I suspect on the rubber trees, but not sure about the kite.
Freaking Fracking games!
Morning Goldie and Miss Mary! I think I am running on high octane Hazelnut dark roast Hawaiian coffee this morning.
Holy Shit they have chain link fencing to buy on Farm Town!
That's it the rumor I heard was true. They hired Ken Ley (he left Bank of America) to run Farm Town! Next they will be asking us to refi our farms at special interest rates and invest in risky business ventures! Ohhhh you mock me now but I see it coming.
DeeDee: BAM..good job, first..yay for you~
Shirley: LOL, I love those bumper stickers..haha. VERY FUNNY!
I am all Zumba'd up today. Went to Zumba class and got the flava. Oh, that is so fun and the instructor is really REALLY good. 6547 steps so far but that was because half of my 20 minutes on the elliptical wasn't recorded. I had the pedometer in the wrong place.
Love the bumper stickers! From the comments, it looks like LynnD has finally lost the last bit of sanity she was holding on to.
If I had a car with a rear-window display, I'd make it "the finger" and never change it.
I have indeed moved bodies. They weren't dead, just asleep. I am glad it's illegal to shoot me. Some don't care, though.
You can steal rubber trees? I stole some rubber from one and kept it cuz I thought it'd come in handy. You know, like for a slingshot or something. I have apples, too. So I can throw them at people.
I'm going to cuddle up in bed and watch movies or something on my computer today. It been a crazy couple of weeks during which I've discovered some people can be real assbites. I'll probably hang out here, too because it looks like someone unlocked the looney bin and there's a whole lot of fun to be had.
Bobachichi are you calling us looney?
Well you may be right about some! lol! But we won't name names...Dianne, LynnD, Tina, Birdie, Just Lin, Carol and Mo!
hehehe!!!
Ha! I discovered I can get to my Island via the fan page with very few issues! Soooooooooo......I went out and stole something from every Island take that!! Ahhhh it is good to be back.
Oh and stop by for a visit as I have about two hundred damn omelets to serve.
SHIRLEY: I like number 4 the best...and why would you think those driving ones remind you of me j/s? Good sayings,...I wish I could remember some of the ones I see out sometimes.
Well, our blizzard is all melted off the streets and only on the lawn and the sun is shining and going up to 50 (if not already)...and that is what I love about Colorado!
Our football coach is all excited as we just traded MO"S QB...Brady Quinn. As MO mentioned, he hasn't done too great for them in the last three years but our coach thinks he is "trainable"--we shall see as our QB is anything to write home about...
Get this...my SIL asked me to go to lunchy with him and the girls since I spent the night and babysat the last two days while my daughter is in Vegas. Out of the blue my ex called to ask them to lunch (very strange for him) so my SIL told him I was here so he said for me to come along....and I am. I do like his wife and she is just finishing radiation from breast cancer so I would like to visit with her. They have been married for 35 years so there is tons of water under those bridges....it is still interesting as we attend a lot of functions and holidays together but don't usually go to a restaurant and "break bread"...wonder if he will pay :)
Congrats on number 1 DEEDEE...I can't see your picture on this computer but I am sure you are lovely as usual.
Good Morning to all the Owls and have a good afternoon...see GOLDie..I knew you would be doing something fun (Area 51)...you always do.
Bye..
TINA; Thanks so much for making my farm in FT so beautiful. Seriously, I know you put in tons of time on this and it really looks nice. If any of you have a chance, go over and look at the great job she did. ok.....serious over now....:)
Hi Dianne!
Shirley, those made me think of my (currently) favorite CW song title: "I hate every bone in your body... except mine"!!
Happy Saturday Owls.
Shirley, I love to read bumper stickers and these are great. Of course, I thought of you when I read #5, but #14 reminded me of Lynn. One of my faves was on a '55 Chevy with a gray-haired lady driving and it looked like it had been there a loooong time. It read "I'm fat and you're ugly, but I can go on a diet."
DeeDee, Your avatar gives a whole new meaning being an early bird.
Lynn, After reading your first post, I'm a little worried about you, but I did lmao.
J/L I'm dedicating #11 to you.
Mary, I bought a tee-shirt with that sentiment for a good friend and at first she didn't 'get' it either. I loved it.
Bear, LOL That's all I can say.
Waving to all the other Owls. I am trying to get some cleaning done today, since I have been using my ankle to avoid it for a week now. Oh, the guilt!!
Awwwww, Dianne-thanks!
I thought of a sign I saw in a store in San Fran- not a bumper sticker but cute:
"If my cooking is good enough for the dog,its good enough for you-if not, we keep the kibble in the closet"
My favorite bumper sticker is: "I am for Seperation of CHURCH and HATE"
Ok- my company should be here any minute- the pork roast smells fab!!
24
BAM!!!25!!!
Oh Whabby!!! What a boner,groaner lol!!
LynnD, you have had me peeing my pants all day!! bbl have to change again lol!!!
DeeDee You are starting to worry me!
Beebi, When I see you in Chi Town I will attempt to suction out some of that energy you have and "drip" it s-l-o-w-l-y into my veins!
I can smell your roast from here! Can you smell my rhubarb pie?
I made it for out VFW dinner tonight.
Bonachi,I think you are right about the "loony bin" lol! I about lost it this morning when I saw all that snow! It's still coming down!
Diane, I hope ours disappears as fast as yours! Vegas will be in the high 70s Monday!
Barb, Don't over do, remember the ankle! LOL!!
Shirley, happy to see you excluded me from the whackos ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!
omg bear~ OMG!!!~ lmbo!!!~
Shirley!~ I love #11~ Whenever my cousin comes over, she cleans my kitchen....the kids love her~ :D
LynnD~ I do believe your license to fly anywhere has been revoked! Especially Chicago~ ijs~ :)~
DeeDee~ Do you change ur panties as often as you change ur avatar?!~
Di~ Don't forget to tell him Happy Anniversary~ :)~
Shirley, I guess looney is one word I could use for us. Nuts, insane, screwy, unhinged, strange, berserk and deranged are others I can thnk of. It's like an entrance exam. You have to be one of those to get in here. It's the first test I've ever passed with flying colors.
What is going on with the avatars today? DeeDee, you have to explain to all the people living in your head that they can only have one at a time. Tina, give poor Eunice some food! She looks anorexic.
What has the world come to when we take comfort in seeing a green peanut M&M with hair, shoes and gloves?
I am at th airport getting ready to board, finally! The flight was delayed for an hour.
You all have me in stitches!
Shirley. Thank you for the laughs today! I LOL several times.
SacBarb. No probelm. : )
LynnD. Have you been smoking some of your island plants? LOL
J/L, have fun in SoCal and a safe flight.
Dianne, how did lunchy go with your SIL and ex? I just can't imagine ever being able to sit down to a meal w/mine. Not with knives and forks, anyway.
DeeDee,much better! Good dye job!
Did Tina catch your schizo Jeckle/Hyde persona?
I have got to finish packing!
Anyone know where Justlin is going?
Good Evening!
SHIRLEY: Loved your list of bumper stickers. I remember when just about every car had one of some kind or another. I don't see that many around anymore. I have a couple of favorites..
*It IS as bad as you think and they ARE after you!
*My IQ is in the top 4%..who cares about the other 95%?
I like #10 the best on your list SHIRLEY..great blog..thanks for the laughs!
DEEDEE: Congrats on prettiest! LOL @ the electric screens!
LYNN: Omg..you made me laugh so hard..you are a goof!! :D
MARY: It was 74 and gorgeous here today. Our forecasters are saying the weather is going to stay this way..so you should be able to soak up more sun in Vegas!
GOLDIE: Did you win?? :D
BEBBI: I'll have to google Zumba..sounds interesting!
BONACHI: Slingshot the apples! Or better yet..the chickens! ;)
DIANNE: At least you have a QB..Kurt Warner retired this year.. :(
I'm going to go check out your farm, I just know TINA did a fabulous job!
BEAR!! LMAO! You caught me completely off guard! :I...:D
SACBARB: I've seen a bumper sticker like the one you mentioned..only it said "I may be fat..but I can lose weight..you'll be an a*^*hole forever" I loved that one!
TINA: How did the 2nd Homecoming go? ;)
J/LIN: I know you posted it, but I've forgotten..where are you going in So Cal? Safe travels!
MARY: I don't know if J/L said where she was going..I looked and can't find it..but she is going to celebrate her mom's birthday so..
J/L: Happy Birthday to your mom!! :)
Mr Z and I were out all day..and now it's time to catch up on our anniversary celebration..damn..I wish it had snowed here.. ;)
Have a good night everyone!
Tina....I thought you might put on your Easter outfit.....ijs
TINA: No Happy Anniversary to this ex...wrong husband..this is my children's father!! Guess what everyone....he paid too. I even offered but his wife right away told me no . She and I really do get along after all these years. we had our ups and downs when the kids were small but over all we are friendly...heck we even send each other bday cards and to our husbands too. BTW Tina, I do tell him HAnniversary in Feb every year...We have only been divorced a million years!!
J/L is going to So Cal to spend 9 days with her mom for her birthday. Happy Birthday J/L mom!! I believe J/L said she will be 82.
ZONA: I have a package of snow in the mail to you right now..let me know when it arrives. I thought I had sent it all on to MARY but I found some in my yard.
SHIRLEY: I saw a bumper sticker today and it said, " Sure you can trust the government...just as an Indian". I said it to myself over and over so I could remember it to post it...I didn't see anymore except old Obama ones. Some of them are magnetic nowadays.
MrD is at the movie with my SIL and I am all alone and it is so quiet and kind of nice...no really nice. I can go in a room and the light isn't being turned off before I even leave it and I don't have to listen to TV or anything....he will be home in a couple of hours and nothing against him...but it is nice to have some alone time ...especially since he works from home now...
DeeDee~ It's too early for my Easter outfit!~ but I have to say...FINALLY...a real picture of you....love the knee highs~ :D
My bro used to drive truck. He put a bumpersticker on it that got him fired. "How's my driving? 1-800-EAT-SHIT"
DeeDee, it seems like your avatar needs a broomstick.
Hey Everyone..
Shirley.. LOL, on the bumper stickers.. My fav #3 fits me to the tee.. :O)
LOL on all comments on the blog.. cracked me up..
Dianne.. Its always good to have alone time.. glad you enjoyed it..
J/L.. Happy Birthday to your Mom, enjoy your time with her..
Mary.. I agree I need some of Bebbi's energy to..
I have been feeling so tired today, I felt as if I could have slept all day.. It was a beauty of a day here in NJ.. I think we hit 75, which just makes me want spring more. So I was out most of the day enjoying the sunshine.. The weather is going to change tho, back to the 50's on Monday and more rain..
The ppl in a town about 15min from me where just able to get back in the houses from the Passaic River overflowing from last weeks rain..
I feel so bad for them, their houses are a mess and most of their belongings are destroyed. I hope they get federal aid.
The mall I frequent just opened today after being closed because of the flooding as well.. I thought of all the ppl who work in the mall and again felt so bad, I am sure they were not getting paid while the mall was closed..
That rain last Saturday, really made such a mess..
Zona..
No snow needed.. just jump in the pool.. and use your imagination..
;O)
I am so glad so many are going to Chicago.. This is really going to be a blast, esp for me, I have never met any serial killers in person.. and now I will get to meet several all at once, I wonder who will get killed first.. FUN!
:O)
CAROL...you're scaring me!
Lynn..
Your tangent this morning cracked me up.. lol
SHIRLEY...funny blog! I think I love #11!
Mo..
That's right I am serial killer to.. Just realized that.. no worries, I will kill you last, so I have all the bacon.. I really don't like to share my bacon..
tee hee hee...I got 50!
MARY..have a great trip! When do you leave and return? Safe travels
JUST LIN...Happy Birthday to your mom!
CAROL...I have enough bacon to go around!!
WHABBY...OMG!! Who sings that...DICKS Bentley?? LOL!
Mo..
YUM! :O)
Ok.. off to bed I go..
See ya all tomorrow..
Nite!
SACBARB and DIANNE...I wanted you all to know who to avoid in Chicago!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Dancing in and handing out some energy to Mary and Carol and whoever else wants some!*....woo hoo..I got the flavo..dance all night..get real hot...dance all night...woo hoo.
Went out partying tonight and it was fun. Wore my knee high boots (of course under my jeans, I am not stupid)..haha..but it was fun. Good times!
I was DD so I didn't drink. But, it was a good time.
Mary: They had karaoke, I thought of you!
What are you Chicago bound people worried about...I'm the one staying with Tina...but remember, I have stayed with her twice now...even let her in my house to stay and she didn't clean my kitchen but she was tolerable!! :)
MO: I have lots of bacon to go around too and I'm not even a piggy!!
hmmmmmm....i need a new roommate!~
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