I have been feeling quite down since the passing of my friend. Last nite while I slept I kept seeing her at every turn. Her face so clear to me, her eyes calling to me, I felt trapped as if I could not help. I think what is bothering me the most is she was alone in her last hours, yes she was tended to by professionals, but her family and friends were not among her. I know some will say, that is how she wanted it. But I feel different, her niece (who lives about 1hr away) knew she had taken a turn for the worse, she could have reached out to anyone of us to go and be with her. Since my friend did not have any children this niece had been watching over her affairs while she was in the nursing home. I don't know this niece very well, as she lived farther out and did not see her Aunt often. It so happen she works at the nursing home my friend was admitted to, so she agreed to help her Aunt. I sometimes think that a family member does not realize the closeness one has with friends. I keep going over in my mind, how I could have been there with her. They had taken her out of the nursing home and admitted her to a hospital that was 10 minutes from my home, it however was not to be.
Tomorrow nite I will be making a collage of pictures (with a few other friends) to be displayed at her service. I know when I see these pictures the memories will flood thru, and the sadness with be front and center. Yet, I am comforted by the thought that she is at peace and with the one she loved.
Her service is on Thursday to be followed on Friday by her burial. I will attend both days, and be with my friend, for its the least I can do, for someone who has done so much for me.
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55 comments:
1~
woops~ crap! I'm so sorry....I didn't meant to be first on someone elses blog~ :)~
Carol~ I'm so sorry for your loss~ I'm sure she knows how much she was loved~ You will get to spend time with people who loved her and hopefully that will make you feel better~ If that doesn't, remember that I'm pretty~ :D
Janice feels bad for you, too~
Mo~ your comment in area 51 about potty training....Janice laughed...me...not so much!!!~
Jodi~ I guess I'll take those Lutheran prayers! ga!!!!! lol~ I thought I converted you and your dad!~ :)~
Carol I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. (((HUGS)))
You can't dwell on the fact that she was alone. You didn't know that at the time. If you had you would have been there with her. I have to wonder why the niece wasn't there, if she knew she had been taken to the hospital? The next few days will be difficult and sad but know that someone in Nova Scotia is thinking of you.
Surprise surprise Tina got 1st! Good morning Tina!
Janice how are you today? Are those new shoes? They look fantastic! Have a great day!
lmbo Shirley~ Janice can't stop laughing!!! You should have seen her shoes on Monday.....come #uck me boots!!!~
Just so you know Tina...I'm prettier than you!
And I am prettier than all of you!
:O)
Tina..
Congrats on First on my blog!
Good morning Hooters and congrats tina~
Carol-I am so sorry for your loss. You are proving right now how much of a friend you were by honoring her memory. She is at peace, and it is a path she chose for herself in the end.
While that may be hard for us to accept, it is the greatest gift to give someone. To pass on the way they wished to. So in reality, you were there for her-you respected her and her wishes. Think of her and remember all your good times together. That was her gift to you, not the memories of sitting by her bedside as she died.
Shirley...
Exactly! why was the niece not there? My thoughts are the same.. she was told 10:30p the nite before, she certainly could have called my friends brother when she found out. Instead she called him the next day about hr before she passed.. Her brother could have def been there with her..
I am glad I don't know the niece that well, cause I can just ignore her these next two days..
Tina..
Tell Janice TY..
and yes she did know she was loved, and she also knew how pretty you are! BUT she knew I was prettier.. :O)
Goldie..
TY, I will def be thinking of the memories.. your comment made me feel better..
OK..
Business for me has def picked up, so I need to make the best of it..
Everyone have a great day..
Mary..
I got your e-mail, and will reply to you 2nite when I get home from my friends..
TY!
Tina..
BTW, thanks again for yesterday!
Damn you people! When will you finally acknowledge tha I am the prettiest!!! Just look at my picture!
Janice you agree with me don't you? DON'T YOU JANICE??
uh....yeah....so....i read that to Janice....and uh....after she stopped laughing, she said, "Have any of you seen MY picture? I'M the prettiest!"
Bring it on girlfriend!!! Show us a picture!!!
lol Shirley....they just took her away to take her picture....really...I don't know why...but I asked for a copy...maybe it's a mugshot!!!~
CAROL - (((hugs))) from Wisconsin. I'm so sorry for your loss. May you take comfort in knowing that she is now at peace. And as for her niece....she's the one that has to live with the fact that SHE didn't call anyone to be with her Aunt during her last hours.
TINA - Congrats on 1st!! I guess technically I am still Lutheran, even though I've kinda lost my way. But I'm almost positive that Dad is catholic by now, considering how good he's doing!!
SHIRLEY - Your pic sure is pretty, but forgive me....who the hell is it?!!?
JANICE - Gotta love a gal with come *uck me boots!!! Or whore stompers like GOLDIE calls them!!
Tina, Tina, U R such a pretty "1st" hog! Love George, but right now my new dish washer looks prettier! All that hot sudsy hot water washing all my special stuff...oooooo ijs :)
Carol, have I told you lately that I love you? You are the kind of friend that everyone should have. I think the collage is a great idea.I bet you were with your friend through many times in her life when she needed you.I hope you are comforted by that and know that she wouldn't want you to feel so sad about your not being there. {{hugs}}.
I will be thinking of you in these next few days.{{more hugs}}
Jodi, don't feel bad, I don know who he OR Janice are lol!!
MARY - Waving @ you....are you feeling better today?!!?
CAROL: I am so sorry for your loss. Please try to concentrate on all the good times you and your friend spent together..all the laughter you shared. This is, I'm sure, what she would want you to remember.
I spent every possible minute with my mom while she was in the hospital..and the one day her doctor told me to get a couple hours more sleep at home and come in later..was the day she passed away. She was alone...but I really think she chose her own time. I don't think she wanted us to see her pass away..she would much rather have us remember her smiling and laughing.
Keep those good times with your friend close to your heart CAROL..think of her happy and smiling..because that's just what she is doing now while she thanks you from above for being such a wonderful caring friend.
TINA: Congrats on FIRST!
HI JODI, MARY, GOLDIE and SHIRLEY!
For those of you that don't know my avatar is a picture of Argentine Polo player Nacho Figueras. I saw him last week on Oprah. He is hot!!!!! Way better looking than Who Grant or George of the Jungle!
ZONA - Well said!! Muah!!
SHIRLEY - lmbo!!! And yes he is HOT!!!
Mary, Janice is someone who works with and more than Tina. Tina sometimes uses Janice's computer when she first gets to work so she can be first on the blog. Janice is a new Grandmother too, and a sharp dresser!
Hello everyone.....Sorry Carol...I know what ur going thru....I always say you have to count yourself lucky for having had lost friends in your life....but it doesn't help when you are missing them......
On a lighter note..... i saw the funniest thing on CNN this morning....14 terrorists rigged up a bus to blow up and kill Afghan Police or foreign soldiers....they were riding in it to their target.....it malfunctioned and blew up prematurely with all 14 aboard.....lol!!! BOOM!!
Stealing Whabbears comment..."rest in pieces"......
These are the idiots the government want us to worry about....lol
Oh Shirley!!
I knew who your avatar is!! And you are right....the men of Brazil and Argentina are so gorgeous......
I love you Zona but Hugh Grant? And Tina....George is cute....but he is 5 ft. tall!
I'll take a Nacho over a Clooney-Grant sandwich anytime.....
Mary and we like Janice because she laughs at our jokes! She is a bit of an enabler, tho, to Tina's cheaqting. On the other hand, Tina probably browbeats her like she does her little sister. LOL
Tina Um, yeah, congrats, whatever.... ;)
Shirley I've always liked nachos. LOL
Carol Try not to blame the neice as she is the one who took on the responsibilites, physically and emotionally, for her aunt's care and it probably wasn't all that easy. Being as she works there, she has probably seen these things drag out for a long time and may have believed there was more time left than how it really turned out. I know in the case of my second husband, he was really gone for two days before his body followed. Sometimes it can go on for weeks. I'm so sorry for your loss but am so glad that she had wonderful people like you who cared about her. She was blessed.
Zona That's how it happened with my husband, too. I was terribly sick, running a temperature, and had spent another long day by his side. Other family members had already left for the day and I said all my goodbyes, real goodbyes, just in case, and went home that night. He died 1 1/2 hours later. Frankly, I feel spared, as I don't know if I could have handled actually seeing him pass. I believe things happen exactly the way they are supposed to.
Waving a wing at all of the HOoters!
DeeDee~ you have Janice laughing her buttookis off~ And she's privy to your emails (remember when they used to be funny?!) :)~
Shirley~ Janice isn't a NEW grandmother...this is her second...it just happens to be the first daughter that her only daughter has had~ and yes....she's a VERY sharp dresser~ :D
Jodi~ you really made me laugh~
Shirley~ lmbo @ Who Grant!!!~
uh....J/L....whore....I got to work before Janice today~ Used my own computer...so THERE!!!~
Shirley, I do remember the sexy Nacho. If I remember right hie team lost in the finals last year. He is mighty fine!
Justlin & Shirley, thanks for reminding me who MissyJaniceTinaenable is. :)
Waving at ya all!
bbl gottah get the steaks on....
Janice is NEW to THIS granddaughter!
Tina Talk to the hand. Oh, yeah, you can't see the hand. In that case, talk to the blank comment box. LOL
Shirley Good point!
Mmmmm, I have a craving for NACHOs!!
CAROL...Again, so sorry for your loss. Please stop beating yourself up for not being there when she passed. She may have actually wanted it that way, so as not to have those she loved have to bear witness to that horrible thing. Like ZONA's mom, my mom passed in the short window I wasn't there. I actually told her I would be back at 11 and she passed away at 10:55. I truly believe she didn't want me to see it, so she chose her time to go. Your friend loved you and even though nobody was physically there, she knew she wasn't alone. {{hugs}}
TINA...you may be pretty, but JANICE is a much better dresser! Hi JANICE!
SHIRLEY...you are the prettiest!
CAROL...you are the prettiester!
I am the fugliest!
BTW...still snowing!
Carol: I am so sorry for your loss. I agree with what others said, don't dwell on the fact that she was alone when she died. Your memories will always be with you and she knows that you loved her. SHE knows you would have been there had you known. I am sure your collage is going to be so beautiful. I hope you share it with us. Would love to hear some stories about your friend. How did you meet? What did you do together? I bet you were an awesome friend.
J/L: Yes, still stepping. I gained 5 lbs over the holidays but have already lost 3 again. I did 60 minutes on the elliptical today and I did about 80 minutes of yoga because my instructor doesn't ever finish in an hour..lol. But, she is really good. I always feel very limber when I come out of her classes. It's been a while since I have been because I had some health issues that kept me from attending. I walked 14,505 steps today. Yesterday I was really happy, I got in over 21K. woot woot.
It's frustrating though because for some reason I have been stuck for a long long time at this weight. I shouldn't complain but I work out diligently and meticulously and adamantly every day but still can't seem to lose anymore. I guess buying the Hershey's Pot of Gold Premium Collection on sale at Wal-hood tonight was a bad idea..LOL. Maybe that has something to do with it?
Anyway, I am good...stepping my ass off while stuffing my face with chocolates.
EXCUSE ME- but I am the prettiest- have you looked at my avatar people??????
:)
Hope everyone is getting humped, I mean having a good hump day.
Goldie...yes honey I've seen your avatar and I hate to break it to you, but that ain't pretty. It's just sad...and saggy...and hairy.
Goldie: You are Gorgeous honey..such bright red lips. And that beautiful hair. ;)..I am off to bed...night night owlies..sleep tight.
Hi Everyone..
I am stopping by to say goodnite and to thank everyone for their comments on my blog today.. sooooo a big Thank You to all..
I did complete the pic collage for my friend tonite, it came good, it was so nice to reminisce and see her in her younger days..
Long day tomorrow for me...
Hope all had a good day..
Nite!
PS.. Mary, you have e-mail..
:O)
BTW.. forgot to say.. I read all the comments, and you all made me feel so much better.. I am glad I shared with all of you, as you all say things that are so right on.. Well most of the time.. LOL
Thank You, Thank You, Thank You..
I think the next two days will be much easier..
Bebbi..
My friend has been a friend of the family for many many years, she was much older than I, but we def had a connection.. she really was a very sweet person, and only knew how to love..
Again.... Thank you all so much..
and thanks to all who shared their stories, as that helped as well..
Nite
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Damn! Missed Carol!
Hugs, my friend!
Dam, missed Whabby!!
well shit my pants....missed Mary~
suck a duck.....missed Tina.
shit damn ass.....I missed GEORGE!!!
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