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Thursday, January 7, 2010

Hugs Mom


By Mary/Mi

My Mom

I have been thinking about this since my Birthday in Dec. and from the many comments of late about our parents and their conditions.

I lost my Mother when she was the age that I am now. I wonder if she fulfilled any of her dreams. I know I have been fortunate to have reached many of my dreams and goals. My Mother was active, but was ill a great part of her life. She has been gone 26 yrs, my Father has been gone 16 yrs.

I look in the mirror and don't see anyone that looks like the age my Mother looked at 63. I wonder if I am seeing the same thing others are?
No matter, I feel young and I guess that is good enough to get me through the next 30 yrs! lol!

I visited my Italian neighbor Christmas week. His Mother was visiting. She is 92. She has been a seamstress and sewing teacher forever! She is sharp as a tack. She just quit driving a year ago. I remember her driving from Detroit to her Son's house across from us for many years. I think her keeping busy has kept her going. How lucky he is to have had his Mother so long. I am happy for anyone who can still hug their parents.

I feel sad that some of you are going through tough times with your parents. I pray that you have many more years with them. Love them, hug them and keep in touch with them. I was lucky enough to have been able to give both my parents a final hug as they went on their final journey.

You don't always have to be there physically, but phone calls and a note from you can be just as comforting to them. I was touched when Whabby told us
of his sadness at being so far from his parents. I am sure his visit home, as with Tina with her Dad, Sandi, Jodi, Carol, and others, says a lot about how close and caring you are.

I will keep all of you, and your parents in my prayers.

********************************

89 comments:

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

WOOOOHOOOOO!!!!
Hot damn I'm #1!!!!!!!
Yessssssss!!!!!!!
Whose the prettiest now!!!!!?
MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tina~in_ut said...

pretty me~

Tina~in_ut said...

damn you!!!!

Tina~in_ut said...

uh....YOU are so not pretty....I AM!!~

Tina~in_ut said...

Mary~ ur so sweet.....and your mom is beautiful~

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Are not!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

What a great blog Mary! So true. ((((HUGS))))

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Where are my manners? Good morning Tina and Janice! My,my Janice you look stunning today!!

Lynn D said...

Morning Glories!

Hmmm Shirley slipped into first! She's the prettiest Tina just get over it! lol

Carol just read your blog from yesterday and I am so sorry about your friends passing. I don't even want to imagine the pain I would feel if my best friend passed away before me. You are special and so was the bond you had with your friend. (((Hugs)))

Mary beautiful blog. You mother was a beauty too! Love her hat. Yes those of us who still have parents alive are very lucky even if the relationship has been rocky over the years. Our parents are our connection to who we are and how we were formed in our early years.

I lost my Mom when I was 6 but still have my father. I am lucky that my Mom's sisters that are still here keep her memory alive for me. Tho I to wonder about what kind of relationship I would have had with her and would she have been more involved with my children than my father has been. Would everything have been different growing up. I think yes but the questions come up more often as I get older.

So cherish your family while you still have them. Regrets are hard to live with.

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Just to clarify...my "Are not" comment was directed at Tina. It looks like it refers to Tina's comment "Mary~ ur so sweet.....and your mom is beautiful~". I agree with Tina on that comment!

night.owls.sb said...

That is a great pic... I love her Hat..

Mary, What was your mothers name?

night.owls.sb said...

Shirley..

Your are by far the prettiest in the land, near and far!

Congrats...!

night.owls.sb said...

Tina..

Sorry, your the prettiest shall not be today!

;O)

night.owls.sb said...

Special Good Morning to Janice!

:O)

night.owls.sb said...

Lynn..

Sorry you lost your mom so young. Glad family was around you to help out.. Geez that must have been so hard..

night.owls.sb said...

Mary...

I count my blessings each day.. Mom is 78 and Dad is 85, they are still very spry and drive me crazy each day.. But, I know I am lucky, and I also know I will have no regrets or no guilt. Having them around is quite special, Well accept when skunk's are involved..

Thank you for your sweet blog..

night.owls.sb said...

Smiles all around.. :O) :O) :O)

and of course

Watermelon Jello Shots..

and of course

Bacon

and of course

Porn!!!!!!!!


YAY!

PS.. don't show Janice that last one, she might think less of me..

night.owls.sb said...

Mary..

What was your mom's ethnic backround? She looks so european..

night.owls.sb said...

J/L..

QOTD you picked.. LOL..

night.owls.sb said...

Bebbi..

What the hell, enjoy the chocolate..

night.owls.sb said...

Hi HO Hi HO Hi HO Hi HO..

off to work I go..

have a good day everyone..

night.owls.sb said...

And.. thanks again for yesterday.. you all have no idea how much you all helped me..

goldie said...

Good Snowy Morning from WI!

Shirley- Wahoo for you!! :)

Mary, what a lovely blog. Loved the picture.

I think my dad managed to see many of this dreams and goals-those that his health allowed. He too was sick for many, many years. But he had raced a porche, skied the Alps, owned his own business, hunted, fished, camped and became a volunteer fireman. He married his true love, had kids and got to see 4 of grandkids come into this world and grow, owned his own home and was debt free.

I think for someone who survived the war as a child who starved while on the run from the Nazi's, and who's mother disowned him after his parents divorce when he was 12- he thought he had a blessed life. At least he NEVER complained about things he didn't have or do-and never complained about the Diabetes as it robbed him of many of many things. He was only 61 when he died- way too young.

I still feel like I got robbed when I lost him, but thankfully my Mom is a very chipper, spry almost 79 year old. She is also one of my very best friends. :)

Happy Thursday to all you lovely Hooters!!

P.S. I thank you all for the Christmas Cards you sent- and I didn't forget you- I just havent' mailed them yet-LOL
Won't it be fun to get holiday greeting around MLK's birthday????

goldie said...

24

goldie said...

25!!

goldie said...

Mark that down Shirley!!

Tina~in_ut said...

busier than hell....my favorite call so far today:

her: Hi..I want to see if my flight is cancelled.

me: Okay, what is your flight number?

her: oh...hold on. Let me find it...

after waiting a good 2 minutes while she bangs the phone in my ear and rustles paper, she comes back

her: hello? are you there?

me: yes...

her: hello?

me: I'm still here....

her: okay...I'm still looking for it.......

she comes back another minute later....

her: okay, my flight number is ####

me: (crap..it's cancelled so I start pulling up schedules to reprotect her) Yes, your flight is cancelled.

her: okay, thank you. (Click!)

AND SHE HUNG UP!!! I laughed so hard!~

goldie said...

tina~ You cant teach stupid- it just comes naturally to some people... :)

Kind of like the idiots driving around in our snowstorm like it is sunny in July. I got a huge kick out the guy with little dick syndromn driving his pick-up down the hill in front of me at least 20 over the speed limit and doing a 360 and ending up in the snowbank-hung up and facing the wrong way! I waved at him!!!

Zona said...

MARY: Your mom is just beautiful! Do you ever find yourself doing or saying things the same way she did..or do you see her smile when you look at one of your children or siblings? I think that's just another way we are blessed after we lose loved ones. I was just thinking about how my dad has been gone 19 years..and it just doesn't seem possible that it's been that long since I've heard his voice or seen him smile. Then I look in the mirror and realize that when I smile..I AM seeing his smile again..it's just so familiar and comforting to me.

Thank you sweet MARY for the wonderful blog today!

SHIRLEY: Congrats on FIRST!

TINA: I guess she didn't really want to travel afterall..

GOLDIE: Thank you for sharing those memories of your dad..I loved reading about him.

LYNN: I agree..you must cherish every moment..because you can't get the lost time back. {{hugs}}

CAROL: Someone once told me..even the memories of difficult times will become bittersweet memories..I didn't believe them, but they were right.

Have a great day everyone..it's 68 degrees outside..and I'm going to get out of this house and enjoy the day!

Mary/MI said...

Dam I am late on my own blog!
I haven't been sleeping well lately, so I slept in. Mr Mary said I may as well have waited until Fri. to get up lol!!
Thanks for all your sweet comments. Here are answers to your questions.
My Mother's name was Consuelo. Some called her Gladys. As far as I know she was Mexican, though I have a sneaky suspicion there were a few others mixed in there lol!
She had diabetes,high blood pressure & enlarged heart. She died of diabetes complications.
I love reading about your parents. I guess we all have a story to tell.
BBL, I am eating my breakfast/brunch/lunch :)

Jodi said...

MARY - What a beautiful blog and lady!! My Mom left us far too young....about 2 months shy of her 57th b'day, but I must say that she achieved most of her dreams. Married the man of her dreams, raised 3 kids, owned their home...debt free!! And her grandchildren were her most shining jewel!! Even though I miss her everyday, I can honestly say that I see her in my children. Her smile, her eyes...and even the way she would chew on her tongue when she was really concentrating on something (Jake is the one that does this and he was only 4 months old when his Nana died....he would have NO memory of her doing that, so I KNOW she is with me!!!)

I love my Father and am thankful that is still here. I do more and more for him (even though my brother thinks that I'm enabling him to do less and less for himself)....I really don't mind, and don't care what Eric thinks. I'm grateful for all that he has done for me and my family, so help him I will!!

SHIRLEY - Congrats on 1st...and yes, you are PRETTY!!! Btw...how's your Mum doing?

TINA - LOL @ your call. I like how GOLDIE put it...."can't teach stupid"....true dat!!!

JANICE - How are you today? Waving @ you from WESconsin!!!

LYNN - So sorry that you lost your Mom when you were so young, but I'm thankful that your Aunt's are there for you!!

CAROL - You're parents are just too cute for words!!! Thanks for the jello shots....tomorrow is my mini weekend, so bottoms up!!!

GOLDIE - I, too love hearing about your Dad. And I'm honored to know your Mom.....♥♥♥ her!!!

ZONA - I'm glad that you see your Dad's smile in yourself. I'm sure he was a dazzler!! Now all you need are the white gloves like your Mom...ijs!!!

I'll be back later. Have to make a cake for the birthday boy!!

Jodi said...

MARY - Enjoy your meal.....breakybrulunch!!!

Mary/MI said...

Zona & Jodi, you are right. I do see a lot of my Mom & Dad in my children & Gr children. I think the biggest thing is not just in the physical, but in actions. The words "tenacity,determination,and stubbornness" are words that come to mind. We have them to thank for these traits as they have gotten us through many trying times.
My hubby lost his Father when he was 17 months old there were 7 children. He had a younger brother. They lived in a one room two story cabin in the Michigan upper Peninsula way out in the woods.All were born there! All 7 grew up to be intelligent,productive and successful. I know he would have been proud.
BBL I have to stick a meatloaf & escalloped taters in the oven...

Tina~in_ut said...

Well now Mr Mary makes sense to me now~ :)~

Jodi said...

CRAP!!! I knew I forgot something....made the cake, but forgot supper!!!

Jodi said...

MARY - Meatloaf sounds great!!

Jodi said...

Whew....thankfully my hubby was thinking and brought steaks home!! Better fire up the grill!!

Tina~in_ut said...

my last passenger wanted to talk to a supervisor to tell them how wonderful I am.....told her I was one and thank you~ she was cute...from Brooklyn....was waiting for her to say cawfee the whole time we talked~ :)~

sacBarb said...

Happy Thong Thursday Owls.

Mary, Your Mother is beautiful and it is sad that she left you in the prime of her life. (The 60s are prime, aren't they?) I was lucky to have both my parents until they were 91. My Mother was very active until about the last 18 months of her life and I think she just got tired of being sick. My Mother was the second of 9 children. Four of her siblings are still living and are 87 to 93 years old. Believe me, if I had known when I was younger that I had that kind of longevity in my genes, I would have taken MUCH better care of myself. It must be the wine! I hear it's a great preservative, so I am using it medicinally.

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Tina you are wonderful, just not the prettiest!

Sacbarb I think that only works if you drink a glass a day not a bottle a day! ijs :)

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Jodi thanks for asking about mum. Actually I think Mo did the other day too. Anyway today wasn't so good. When I got there at noon she was in a lot of pain. Mostly in her left eye. She has a tumor there and the cancer is into the bone around her eye. It eased about an hour after I got there. She said she had it all morning. Of course I asked her if she had taken any of the fast acting morphine she has and she said no. She was just sitting in her chair holding onto her head and crying. It's very hard to watch. I tried to hold back my tears but they came anyway. She had her eyes closed so she didn't see me. Sorry guys, this was a little longer than it was suppose to be. Guess I had more to say than I thought.

Maureen said...

MARY...what a touching blog. And your mom...GORGEOUS. I see where you get your beauty from.

One of my favorite sayings is...Mirror mirrow on the wall, I have become my mother after all!!

I am seeing more and more of my mom in me everyday. It is weird, growing up I looked just like my dad and now as I am getting older I look more like my mom.

LYNN...I know how hard it is to lose a parent at such a young age. I lost my dad when I was 8. But I think you had it harder being a little girl and not having your mommy. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

GOLDIE...thank you for sharing your story of your dad. He def is special.

JODI...I'm glad your dad is doing better. And if you want to induldge him...GO FOR IT!

CAROL...{{{hugs}}} to Sarah and CiCi! Yes, even a little skunk is tolerable to be able to say you still have them with you.

SHIRLEY...you are looking exceptionally pretty today.

ZONA...I love hearing about your parents. They are certainly watching over you.

TINA...I love how you go to Cali to be with your dad at his doc appts. You are such a contradiction...kind and caring AND a crackwhore!!

JANICE...we all know the caller was really talking to you, not TINA, as she can't as nice as you are!

Still snowing!

sacBarb said...

Shirley, congrats on flying in first. Did you see Nacho on Martha Stewart today. OMG he is really a hunk.

Tina, Working with the public is priceless, isn't it?

Hey Lynn, LMBO @ your card. Thanks for making my day.

Carol, Thinking of you today. (((HUGS)))

Goldie, LOL @ little dick syndrome.

Jodi, HUGS to you too.

Zona, Don't you find yourself saying things your Mom or Dad would say and being surprised?

Think I'll go check in at the cafe and see if my crops need harvesting. BBL

Maureen said...

SACBARB...when they prop you up in the corner to collect dust, we will be sure to have an endless supply of wine for you!!

SHIRLEY...I'm sorry today was so hard on you. It is so hard to watch someone you love suffer. Hang in there. {{hugs}}

sacBarb said...

Shirley, are you sure about that? Do you have a medical degree? I'm going with the higher dose!

sacBarb said...

Thanks Mo, I'm glad I can count on you. All that dust can make one parched.

Just_Lin said...

Shirley Congrats on being the fairest in the land!

Mary That was a really beautiful blog you wrote and a lovely tribute to your mother. I am fortunate to still have my mom who will turn 82 in March. She is a wonderful friend to me and we have a lot of laughs together. I think my mom has a lot to be proud of. She is a wonderful mother to my brother and I. When she and my dad separated, she had never worked outside the home and didn't know how to drive. She got her license, got a job and after a while, owned her own business. My dad passed away in the mid 80s. He was a very quiet, reserved man and, although we loved each other, we were never real close.

sacBarb said...

49

sacBarb said...

50

Just_Lin said...

Shirley It must break your heart to see your mum in such pain. (((HUGS)))

Just_Lin said...

Jodi I'm so glad your dad is doing better.

Just_Lin said...

LynnD I feel really badly for the little 6 year old girl who lost her mother but you have grown up to be a strong, compassionate, caring woman with a great sense of humor. She would have been so proud of the woman you have become!

goldie said...

Thanks everyone, I like to share stories about my dad- he lived a very different life with challenges but never complained. He was so young- I was a year old- when he got so sick. They called my Mother in to say her last goodbyes. They never thought he would come out of the diabetic coma he went into.

I am totally psyched about our May 1st meeting. Mr. Goldie is going to be there too.... cant wait to see you all!!

Just_Lin said...

Goldie LOL @ you waving at the guy in the snowbank. Can hardly wait to meet you, too.

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Thank you all for the comments about my prettyness. With those wonderful thoughts in my head I think I will go to bed. Night all!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Just Lin it is heartbreaking to watch her. I wish she would take something for the pain.

Thanks evreyone for the kind words about mum.

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Goldie I might meet you all via phone. I thought I would call the hotel you are all staying at and talk with y'all.

Mary/MI said...

Dinner is done, dishes washed, and my hr on my elliptical bike is done!
I have to look buffed for our spring fling lol!

It has been heart wrenching and heart warming reading everyone's comments. I think it is good to get these feelings out once in a while.It is almost like we bring them back to life just by talking about them! I thank you all for sharing.

Shirley,I so heart you! I am sending you my special Mary angel to sit on your shoulder for a while. Please send her back when she gets annoying :)

goldie said...

Shirley- that will be awesome!!

goldie said...

J/L- can't wait to meet all of you- just wish it was everyone in the nest!

Mary/MI said...

62

Mary/MI said...

63

Mary/MI said...

64

Mary/MI said...

65

Mary/MI said...

66

Mary/MI said...

67

Mary/MI said...

68

Mary/MI said...

69

Mary/MI said...

It's only right I get 69 on my own blog, since Shirley took #1 :)!

whabbear said...

Wow... I'm really emotional right now!

Mary, that was a great story about your parents!

Shirley, your post has me almost in tears, in part because your Mom is suffering eye pain. My sister has been fighting so much pain in her eye for the last two years that she's decided to have it removed in February.

But back to the parents. Mary, you are sweet for mentioning my feelings about Christmas! As for the hugs and the tears... well, here's a story. On December 26th, my sister, brother-in-law, and I woke up on the day I had to leave with plans to go over and say a nice leisurely good-bye to my parents, who are in a retirement residence a few miles from my sister's place. On the way over, we heard about the terrorist attempt the day before, and just freaked. I knew this was going to be bad news for my trip back from Toronto to California!

Long story short, we were just able to drop in on my parents for a very short and hurried good-bye. And yes, my Mom was crying.

Just like she was, 22 years ago, when she and my Dad saw me off at the same airport to start life in California.

Hugs to all, tonight!

whabbear said...

Lynn D: What J/L said about your Mom!

Just_Lin said...

Bear Perhaps you can make a commitment to return to Toronto this summer for another visit. Or....are you going to Chicago for our owl meeting? Maybe you could meet with us, then go on to Toronto. (((HUGS)))

Bebbilane said...

Shirley: Congrats on first!
You are prettiester than Tina. INSIDE and OUT..!

I got QOTD! Which, btw, is not QUESTION of the DAY...like I thought it was for far too long (and yes, I am brunette)...

OMG<> Carol: I do enjoy dat shit. As a matter of fact, I worked out before work, at lunch and then came home and built a small snowman with daughter..and had some more of dat shit as my fuel to keep working out..haha...Chocolate freakin RULES..!

Check out my pics on facebook of my little Mexican Snowman. He's rather cute and reminds me of Chewy on the Chelsea Lately show. :)

Oh, and btw, what ever happened to MEK??? Is she still around and doing okay? I have been meaning to ask and I am sure one of you HOoters keeps up with her. Did she get lost at Michaels and never found her way back home?

Bebbilane said...

Mary: Regarding Moms, I am so lucky that my Mom lives down the street. I took her some Corn Beef and cabbage tonight and she gave me peanut butter bon bon, quite a good trade I think! She's awesome. Also, lucky to have my Dad still around although, sadly, I don't get to see him very often. :(

Although, he's come on the blog before and said hello. My Mom is not that savvy that she could find her way here. She doesn't even have her computer set up right now.

Bebbilane said...

Shirley: I just read that about your Mom. I am so sorry she is in so much pain. It must be so hard for you to watch her and worry. HUGS and prayers for the easing of your Mom's pain.

Just_Lin said...

Bebbi LOL @ Question of the Day! And....I LOVE corned beef and cabbage. And....yes, chocolate definitely rules, big time!

Just_Lin said...

Bebbi Maybe MEK did get lost in Michaels, along with IBB. I'm worrying about Scirish, too.

Mary/MI said...

Whabbear, Tears in Mom's eyes are heart breakers. Not easily forgotten.
I am sorry to hear about your sister's eyes. I had hoped no news was good news. I will keep good thoughts for her and if you don't mind I will put her in my prayers.
Same with Shirley's Mom.

I am lifting my wine glass to all of our Mothers & Fathers.............

Bebbilane said...

J/L: I think we need to make a trip out to the Michaels and page those ladies. They have been MIA too long. I heard those crafts stores suck you in but this is ridiculous!

Yes, the corn beef and cabbage was delicious. The peanut butter bon bon were pretty divine too. I need to do a LOT more elliptical to make up for my eating habits tonight.

Bebbilane said...

Mary: Cheers to all the Moms (and Dads too)...!! Great blog today. :) I sure loved being able to take my Mom over some food.

She sews a lot. I put some things she sewed on Etsy tonight for her. belaine11 is my name on there. If you guys ever go there you should check it out. She is making bears for people who's loved ones have passed out of clothing. They are so beautiful. One of the ladies she works with had her put a nickel inside hers,some sort of significance with her husband. Her husband died and the bear was made out of his shirt.

Mary/MI said...

Bbbi, I miss those not here too. Maybe they just needed a break. I read MEK's FB status, so I know she is ok.
I wonder what happened to Joey. He pops in once in a while so he is still breathing lol!

We have had snow all day and the roads are terrible. I am so glad I don't have to be out there!
I am heading to my farm then I am going to attempt to sleep.
Now that sounded funny! snow & farming lol!

Bebbilane said...

Night all..I am heading to bed. Sweet Dreams!

Just_Lin said...

Bebbi I've been very good today so I get to make myself a small hot fudge sundae now. :)

Mary/MI said...

Bebbi, I went to etsy and wrote in belaine11 and didn't get anything.

Dianne/Denver said...

MARY: Very nice blog and you look like your mom.

I enjoyed reading everyone's parent stories today. MO: I am like you..I have always been told I look like my dad until recently. My ex told me on Xmas he was surprised how much I am looking like my mom. I agree with him as sometimes when I look in the mirror...I do see my mom.

SHIRLEY: I am sorry your mom is feeling so much pain. I don't understand why people don't use the meds either but maybe she is disoriented and just forgot. Hugs to you tonight from freezing cold -16 in Denver.

I miss my parents every day and always want to call my mom to tell her something. I wish my dad would have lived to see my grandkids..he would have been so happy. He has been gone 11 years and my mom almost three. They were sick and I also think they were just tired of trying to live and not being able to get around or have a good quality of life at that point.

Ok, again...thinking and sending good thoughts to each and all of you.

Tina~in_ut said...

mary~ you're raising a glass to all the mothers and fathers....I just handed mine theirs~ :D

Bebbi~ omg....you made me laugh~ Did you have a question?~ And I've been missing everyone too....Where is EBJ?~

Bear~ Your story made me sad....it's hard to leave, isn't it?~

I used to think I looked just like my dad.....and the older I get, the more I look like my mom~

Just_Lin said...

Sweet dreams, HOoters.

sacBarb said...

Good night J/L and sweet dreams to you and all the Owls from me too.

Good night Tina.

Jodi said...

TINA - Don't you ever stay home?!!?