by Jennifer
Now that school is about to start, the same old question comes up in the hallway as all staff members walk past each other. "How was your summer?" I always had something fun to share when that ritual question came up, but now it is just a little awkard to answer. I pause and am not too sure how to answer. The co-workers that I'm close with don't even ask the old seasonal question, because they know. However, there are the co-workers that I really don't see during the summer and they have no idea what I have been through. I don't want to be phony and say "fine" and I also did not want to get into details, so I found my loophole to that answer. I say either interesting with a smile and quickly change the subject or talk about all the fun I had with my kids.
If I really wanted to get into details I would say "June was a bitter month for me, July was rebuilding, and August has been reflecting." Right now I have been reflecting about my new "status" in the world. It just dawned on me last week that I'm now a Ms. not Mrs. Masini. I cried at that realization. Then I started to reflect on how exactly ten years ago I was single, 8 1/2 years ago married, and now divorced. I feel a little lost in who "Jennifer" is right now, so I have decided to call September "finding Jennifer month." It is time to fall in love with myself again. I'm looking forward to getting to know "Jennifer" again.
86 comments:
My summer was boring~ I just worked~ My kids and hubby traveled~ Normal summer~
Jennifer~ Do you need help finding Jennifer? Cuz I think I saw her on Mary's farm~ ijs~
Morning glories!
Congrats on prettiest Tina!
Jennifer it is always a process. From you posts on FB I think you are getting there. Falling in love with you should be easy because you are a bright beautiful person. ((((Hugs)))
Goldie so happy to hear the news about Mom and baby this morning.
My summer has been a summer of ups and downs and lots of change. Also health issues. I am kind of looking forward to fall.
Oh, Jennifer. You don't want to be fake? I mean this in the nicest possible way, but the acquaintances who ask you how your summer was probably don't care. They're just being polite. "Great" is probably the answer they're looking for.
Good morning to Tina, and I'm trying.
Mo, I'm not a witch. Please call off the hunt.
Dianne from area 51: I hope that foot is feeling better this morning. Physical therapy is not fun but it helps so much in the long run errr walk errr well you get it. :)
From area 51: Carol I love and respect you and read your comments from yesterday with interest. I do respectfully disagree about the President weighing in on this subject.
This is his job and the job of every elected official and our military. They all take an oath to up hold and defend the Constitution of the United States. I would hope all of these people would take this very seriously and speak up when they feel the rights of Americans may be infringed upon.
Ok off to farm.
Good Morning Hooters!
Jennifer, I'm looking forward to getting to know you too! Your attitude is remarkable, which is why I am sure you are a fantastic teacher.
Mary, from area51- you earned it and don't feel the least bit guilty. Your friend wanted you to have it, and you deserve it. No one should expect a service for less then normal amount if it was not discussed before the agreement was made to do the job.
My Summer- It has had its ups and downs. Mostly ups though. Pretty typical.
Dianne- hope your foot is feeling better, I'm sorry it is giving you so much grief.
Carol- thinking of you and dad today with fingers crossed.
In regard to yesterdays blog- I decided that the best person to ask was someone who was directly effected by 9/11.
I'll get back to later when I hear back from her. Her husband and father of their 5 children was at his desk working for Cantor Fitzgerald at the time.
Hello Everyone! I'm off to the fair today for our last summer fun event before school starts. Very excited about watching ride those cute little rides.
Hopefully, I will not "find"myself behind all the fairfood. I admit, I have been trying to find myself lately in bags of potato chips.
Guess what? I'm not in there! :)
Good morning!
Nancy woke up up just after 6:00am again, I checked the blog and there were already 7 comments!
No 3-some today! :)
Carol, thinking of you today...
Jennifer, I found myself in White Zinfandel for a short time while going through divorce. Luckily it was just something I needed at the time, and was short lived.
I was never much of a drinker, so was very surprised when I'd pour a glass or 2 every night. Never overdid or got shitfaced from it, but it had never been a daily thing for me.
Wish I'd gotten into Taco Bell instead! haha!
My summer has been nice. The only vacation we took was a week in Lake Tahoe.
To my surprise, I've really enjoyed having MR. EBJ home for almost 2 months with his broken foot.
We've spent lots of time together, and not once have I wished he was back to work! Wow!
Di, good luck with the PT!
Goldie, soooo glad to hear that Angie is better, and baby is improving.
Looking forward to updates on their status.
Also looking forward to what your friend who lost her husband has to say.
Nancy has to go to the vet this morning for her annual check up. This will be the first time her vet has seen her since she weighed 4 lbs!
She is in for quite a surprise!
Have a nice day everyone!
JENNIFER: Good for you on each month moving on (as they say). It's not the same but I remember after losing my husband and the first time I had to put on an application..widow....it was hard. Each "phase" will get better and it looks like you are in the re-work stage. How fun to get to know all about the new Jennifer in September. I guess you can look in the potato chips for two more weeks....:)
Moaning and Morning to everyone. I am off for yet another doctor appt and then will be coming right home. This doctor has a flight of stairs and no elevator so it could be quite the challenge for me today.
MO: How is Joanne doing this week and with her radiation? I hope she is feeling better and even able to get around some.
GOLDIE: I will be very interested to see what your friend has to say. I guess I am thinking how I would feel and there is no possible way to know....so please let us know.
LYNN: I too am looking forward to fall. I "hear" it's been a hot summer but I haven't been out much. I know my electric bill seems to show it has been hot though.
Tina: I know Barb was at a reunion but where is J/L going (if I can ask). I am miss their posts.
EBJ: I would have to be shaking that cat early in the AM or waking up to EBJ to play with it.
Hi to everyone..Hi CHICHI.....
Just want to make a clarification.
The person I am asking about yesterdays blog is not my friend. I do not know her. She is a relative of someone I know.
I asked that person (M.S.) to contact "Mary" and request that she read the blog (I gave her the link)and then if she would, give us her thoughts. I asked her to provide Mary my email address.
I recieved an email a little while ago from my contact(M.S.) who said that "Mary" agreed and would be emailing me. I will post her response when I get it.
Good moaning Tina..you are so pretty today.
Jennifer: I hope the best for you. You have been through so much this summer, it must be difficult to answer and I hope that things go well for you as you continue to grow and get used to being a Ms. again!
Goldie: Wow, I am eager to hear what you friend has to say. Glad that Angie and the baby are doing better.
Jennifer: Have fun at the fair.
EBJ: LOL at no 3 some today. hehe.
Lynn & Dianne: I am not looking forward to Fall, because this summer has been so nice and warm. I get so cold in the Fall and winter...but, it will come either way..and I will enjoy it..just love summer so much.
Goldie, is this with respect to the mosque in N.Y.? I am curious to know, on a personal level, what the people who were directly impacted think. Pls let us know?
Whabby: From Area 51: That is a great idea. They do have that in the military..one structure that holds all the religions and you go where yours is..and yes, one deity.
bonachichi- yes,and her husband was killed while working at the WTC. I will let you know what she says..
*** Baby Update**
Just found out the story behind the trauma.
Angie had a hemmorage of the Uterus during c-section. Lost 3 liters of blood. She is doing well and transferred last night to UCSF so she could be with Baby M. She had not even seen him until then.
Baby M- was not breathing at birth, so they inserted a breathing tube. The problem was they inserted it into his esophagus and not his lungs. For 7 minutes-so he was without oxygen that long before they noticed and started to resc. him, which took 2 minutes.
He was transferred to UCSF where he was placed on a cooling blanket, which lowers a newborn body temp to 91 for 72 hours. This is supposed to have an effect on the amount of brain damage that can/will effect the baby.
Tomorrow he will be slowly warmed up and they will continue to monitor him to the very, very earliest release sometime next week.
What a rotten way to come into this world!
So for prayers, finger crossers and candle lighters- Baby M needs all of you to do your thing!!
Hi Everyone!!
My summer has been a zero.....certainly nothing compared to last summer when that "woman" from Hawaii suggested I be catapulted off the bow of the Queen Mary II!!
or did she wanted me skewered and placed on a rotisserie....NO!! She fantasized about a long robotic arm to knock me overboard....well I could get all Freudian about that but who cares about what she says....
One last thing about yestiddys blog....Americans basic rights...such as the right to free speech...the right to assemble...freedom of religion....the right of ALL citizens to marry....are not something that can be judged and put to a vote....its as simple as that. They exist. They are to be adhered toooooo....period.
Goldie, my heart goes out to mother and baby. "What a rotten way to come into this world" is right. Poor thing. Poor Angie, too. I can only imagine what she's going through.
I just realized the title of the blog, "How Was Your Summer". Is it really that time where we're asking how it was as opposed to how it is? Sheesh, time flies.
Jennifer, I hope the journey to find Jennifer is a good one! ((HUGS))
Good after/evening Tina, Lynn D, Bonachichi, Goldie, Jennifer, EBJ, Dianne, Bebbi and DeeDee!
Shirley....who passed away?
How was my summer? Well, it sucks. But then I think my life sucks too, so there you go.
Whoever said fat people are suppose to be happy and jolly all the time was full of shit!!
I'm not looking for sympathy or anything, I'm just saying how I feel. I can feel myself going to "that dark place" again. I'm trying to stay positive but...
Mum's death has me questioning a lot of things.
Now if you were a co-worker walking by me in the hall and you asked me how my summer had been I would say, "It was OK, how about your's?"
No one DeeDee, it's just how I see myself...in a black hole.
Shirley got a flashlight? Because I am some where in this hole with you. Have been most of the summer. (((Hugs)))
Hello feathered friends! I want to know which one of you gave me this tummy achy shit! I have not felt good all day. It couldn't have been Shirley cuz she quit feeding us a long time ago :(
It may have been Tina and all that manure she spreads ON FV!
Jennifer, well, I "find" you sweet,loving,adorable,giving, enchanting..... You rock!! I am amazed at the strength you have shown through this summer! MUAH!
BBL need to check farms 7 lay down a bit
btw Shirley, "you are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are blue... I will send yellow, from me to you! :):)
LynnD, Sending you a BIG flood light! Come on out of dat hole! XOXOXO
JENNIFER...you love loving yourself! You are a great person, mom and teacher. And if finding yourself means looking in some potato chip bags, then so be it!
I hope your August becomes a great one for you.
My summer sucked...'nuff said.
DIANNE...she is doing well, thanks for asking. Well, as well as can be expected. Her radiation is paliative, but she has had no ill effects from it and only has 4 more sessions left. She is also now 75% wt. bearing...but she is using 100%...typical of her!
CAROL...YAY!!!!
LYNN and SHIRLEY...I hope you both find the yellow you deserve.
EBJ...Nancy's a year already? Sheesh!
GOLDIE...I was totally out of the loop regarding the baby. I will keep the baby and mom in my thoughts and prayers.
Didn't know I was hunting.
I can't believe how much fair the fun ended up being, thanks to my stubborn son Matthew.
It is drizzling here and the thought of spending the whole afternoon in it did not tickle me pink. I even offered to take the kiddos to Chuckie E Cheese instead of the fair.
Kid #1 and kid #3 were all over it, but the middle child insisted that we go to the fair. In my rear view mirror I could see the determination in his little face, so I said what the hell. I threw myself into and we had fun in the rain.
I'm so going to miss them when I go back to school.
Thank you guys for those compliments even though half the time I don't feel those things.
My life has so revolved around "him" that I'm trying to figure out what I like and don't like.
I have been gently pushing him away to figure all this out. He wants to be divorced (offical next week), but still have benefits. When I say benefits, I'm not talking friendship. I really don't know if that is common between divorced couples, but it just doesn't feel right to me. I think if he still wants to do that, he should have stayed married to me.
Jennifer, my ex did that too. It is very difficult to move forward when you are doing the "benefits" thing.
Hard to do but for me, had to cut it completely off. He got a girlfriend immediately, so he left me alone.
Hi MO! Glad Joanne is going through treatment.
Yep, Nancy is almost 1 1/2 years old. She was TERRIBLE at the vet this morning, no one could touch her and her vet couldn't do a good exam.
She got shots that are good for 3 years, thankfully.
Shirley and Lynn, sending you big hugs. I know that feeling. Hang in there!
Carol I read on FB that today is good so I assume this has to do with your dad???
Jennifer I think I would have to tell the Mr. that if he doesn't want the cake, he doesn't get the icing!!
Lynn D at least I have good company. (((HUGS)))
oh how totally fun!!!! EBJ cut her ex's peanut off!!!!!! Bravo!
Jennifer~ STAY....AWAY....FROM....
the tiny little pencil~ ijs~ :)~
I'm so excited......my boys just landed in SoCal and my sister picked them up.....they are on their way to my parents house and my parents have no idea! I wanted the oldest to go see them before he goes away to college next week! yay!~
Shirley~ get that freaking sunshine back in here~ I don't look good in the dark!~
Lynndie~ walk away from the dark~
Tina: That's exciting! I hope they have a really nice visit.
Shirley: HUGS! HUGS! HUGS! Been going through some dark spots myself the last couple of days. :(
Hello Jennifer..
I think your summer months sound to me as a regrowth.. sometimes we are thrown into things and don't think we can handle them.. but we certainly can, and all it takes is baby steps.. one minute, one day, one week, one month, one year at a time..
You are a true survivor.. and great mother, great daughter, great friend..
I can't wait to get to know September Jennifer.. however so far I really really like the Jennifer I know..
Great Blog..
♥♥
Today my Dad did great.. all test came back, and he is fine..
Thank you all for your prayers, positive thoughts, support and your friendship thru my most difficult days..
Tonite we had a no "C" dinner.. The Italian Stallions came over.. with my SIL.. we did a BBQ dinner.. and it was great, my dad was so happy..
Fun Times..
:)
EBJ..
That was a nice post about Mr. EBJ.. kudos to the both of you..
and
Nancy.. my oh my, she was a naughty, to bad there are no time outs for kitty's.. LOL
LynnD..
I totally respect your opinion.. That's what life is all about.. ♥♥
Tina, I'll have you know, it was def. NOT a peanut!
Glad your mom and dad will get a wonderful surprise! How fun for them :)
Goldie..
Looking forward to her reply..
and
I see your son's friends are doing better.. I am very glad..
Tina..
That is a great surprise.. Love it!
Hi Carol,
So glad about your dad!
My dad has had to go a lot after his colon cancer, and we always hold our breath until he gets the word.
He's remained cancer free for 6 years now, so the tests will be less frequent.
I am really glad for your good news! :)
JENNIFER - You are an amazing mother, friend, daughter, sister. And I know you will find the real you that everyone else sees soon. As far as him.....CUT HIM OFF!!! You're right, if he truly wanted that he could've stayed married to you!!
I can't believe how fast this summer as flown by. Registered the kids today and they go back in 2 weeks on the 1st. OMFH....that is when I can relax again ;)
GOLDIE - Thanks for the update on Angie and the baby. Still sending healing prayers for all ♥
SHIRLEY - I'm sorry, but black is not your best color....bring back the yellow!!! Muah ♥
CAROL - I'm soooooooo happy for CICI and for your whole family!! Thanks for the update earlier :O)
TINA - What a great surprise for your parents!!
Jennifer- ijmho, but I don't that after divorce your ex is entitled to any 'benefits'. I think that will only prolong for you from developing 'your own' life and without the need for him.
I also believe this is his way of still feeling in control and that you 'need' him. You don't. He made his decision and let him lay in HIS OWN bed.
Goldie.. sorry did not read all your comment or somehow missed it.. sorry I was confused.. Poor Baby.. I will continue my good thoughts..
Well waoo- I got 50!!
Shirley- you make me smile all the time and I love your humor. I need you in my life, you can't go into a black hole.....
Shirley..
Sometimes the black hole does seem fitting and I don't blame ya, cause I have felt it.. but I promise you, the light will shine and when it does I will see pretty flowers again from you. And in the meantime I am sending to you smiles in hopes the flowers will return soon..
Carol I am so HAPPY to hear your good news!!
Mo.. Good for JoAnn.. glad she is doing well I was afraid the radiation might be to much for her.. but she seems to be a fighter...
YAY..
Goldie got 50!!!!! Congrats!
EBJ..
I saw understand about holding your breathe.. I been holding my since June.. so glad your dad is doing well..
Carol HOORAY!! I can almost feel your sigh of relief!!
Goldie~ I talked to my mom and read her your post......she's praying extra hard now~ Glad mom is better but very worried about baby~
I was on the phone with my mom when the boys got there.....my sister walked in and said, "Mom, I brought you a little something!" My mom screamed....then yelled at me that I didn't tell her...then promptly hung up on me! :D So funny~ Two of my aunts are there as well.....my dad's sisters.....my Aunt Betty just told us that she has breast cancer....they haven't told the other sister cuz they don't think she'll be able to handle it. It's always something, isn't it?~
Carol~ So happy about CiCi~ My mom will be happy too~
Jodi~ I sent my hubby back to school yesterday! The twins start next Monday~ And the college bound child starts the next Monday~ FREEDOM!!!!!~ Oh so close~
TINA...I'm sorry to hear about your Aunt Betty. I hope they can treat her and give her many pain-free years. {{hugs}}
CAROL...I am so elated for your family and especially CICI!
Please give him a gentle hug from me, mkay?
TINA - I know....right?!!? Sending healing prayers for your Aunt Betty ♥
MO - Glad JoAnne is tolerating her treatment!!
Good night HOoters!! Have to get back up in less than 4 hours....not sure if there is enough coffee!!
wtc.....
left, left, left, right, left!!!
left, left, left, right, left!!!
left, left, left, right, left!!!
69!!!
NOW I can go to sleep ;)
Yah, Carol!! Good thing I can uncross my eyebrows, because I'm getting those babies waxed this week, so I don't scare my new students.
Tina, so sorry about Aunt Betty. ;(
Goldie, sent a prayer for the baby. Please keep us updated.
I know there is more to say, but I inhaled so much manure from the County Fair that my brain is fried!
Ok all you "Real Housewives of NJ" fans, my sister in law just sent me a pic of her and Teresa.
She lives in NJ and went to a book signing last night, and got the pic.
I'm sooo jealous!! :)
Mo..Thanks..
EBJ... I watch RHONJ.. how cracks me up..they are all nuts.. good for your sister..
Jennifer.. good thing it was good news, cause bushy eyebrows can get in the way of sight sometimes.. LOL
Nite JodiHO!
I hope you sleep well.. yikes 4 hrs?? really???
I am off to bed..
Thanks everyone..
Nite..
Hellooooo Everyone.
I am back from the beautiful town of Bandon Oregon, where I attended the wedding of a high school friend. I left on Thursday morning and even missed my own blog. (I didn't know it was going to be posted)
I am so tired I am going to bed. I will catch up on the blogs & comments tomorrow.
Good night and sweet dreams to you all.
CAROL: So glad to hear the news about your dad. I would imagine dinner was a great celebration.
TINA; So sorry to hear about Aunt Betty. I will put her in my prayers. Glad the boys arrived safely at your parents....fun surprise. You are going to be so bored when everyone is back in school in a couple of weeks. Heck, you will probably just farm all night.
Time for bed as I have an early annual physical in the AM and then Pt...pretty exciting day except oldest GD will be over tomorrow night for a couple of days.
Night everyone
Good night BARB & DIANNE!!
BARB - Can't wait to hear more about your trip!! I hope you look lots of pics!!
DIANNE - Have fun with your GD ♥
BARB.....TOOK, not look lots of pics. lol!!!
80!!!
Sweet dreams, Sweet HOoters. Sorry I have been out of the loop lately but promise to try and do better. I love you all.
Jennifer Don't let him use you that way. I agree with Goldie that it is a move to have control over you.
Carol I'm so glad for your good news about your dad's tests.
Dianne Hi! :) Good luck negotiating the stairs at the doctor's office. That's an odd place for a doctor to have an office, imho, where you must climb stairs.
MO Thanks for checking on me. I'm glad JoAnn is doing better.
Goldie I'm not up to date on your news but will add prayers for the baby.
Shirley You are such a ray of sunshine for all of us. I am so sorry that you are feeling so low. Grieving is a very difficult process but it will get better in time. Promise.
LynnD You are such a dynamo and do so much for so many. I think you might need a vacation. Want to go back to Chicago?
SacBarb I'm glad you've arrived home safely. I bet you had a great time.
EBJ Oh, so Nancy is one of THOSE kind of kitties. LOL
HODI I bet you're getting up and putting on the cawfee just as I'm getting ready to finally go to bed. I hope you have a great day.
Mary Sorry about your tummy ache. I hope you feel better in the morning.
Tina When all the kids are in school maybe you'll miss them and wish they were still home with you. Nah! ;)
Bebbi You have such a bubbly personality, it's hard for me to imagine you being down. We all have those times, though, there's no denying that. We wouldn't be human if we didn't.
Bonach You're trying? Do you have any more exciting adventures coming up soon?
DeeDee I love cruises but, then again, no one ever threatened to throw me overboard.
Weather-wise, there hasn't been much of a summer here this year. Way to many overcast days and too little sunshine. It has been a year with a lot of unexpected changes, though, and sometimes I balk at having to change.
It is so late that none of you will even know I was here. :(
Why in the HELL is it 82 degrees at 5 in the morning?!!!!! Oh wait...we have a nice breeze too....a...nice.....HOT.....breeze~
JUST LIN...I see you and know you were here! I hope things get back to normal for you soon. I'd love another trip to Chicago!!
TINA...82 already? Yick. Humid, too?? If so...double yick!
Carol: So Glad for you!
J/L: Yes, I get down, I just don't show it too much. I try to keep a positive attitude always but inside the demons like to beat my heart to a pulp..and then, some days they take it out and chew on it for a while...then, they put it back and run off and laugh at me while I try to breathe. How's that for down? lol.
Goldie: Keeping the baby and Angie on my list. I hope that things go well. Nothing more important than new babies and children. :) They are precious to everyone. God Bless them.
Okay..working..bbl..might try to get first today, if I can..haha.. :)
Hey MO: You have been on my mind lately. I hope you are doing well. :)
SacBarb: I hope you had a good time in Oregon. :)
Hey J/L, I see you!!! :) :)
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