by Tina~in_ut
I HATE alcohol with a passion. I hate a lot of it and I hate just one drink. It just depends on the person.
At our house, I detest three drinks! Three drinks is too much for the hubby. I can handle him with only two, but after drink number three, I hate him. He gets mean. I know it and my kids know it. He's not physically abusive, thank God, but verbally, oh my hell. I have learned that I just need to shut up when he's like that.
Saturday night, we went to a dinner party with friends. We had the best time. While we were eating, it started snowing like crazy. The worst storm this season so far. Guess who got to drive home? There's nothing more fun than driving on snowy roads with Mr. Had Too Many!!! I think he wanted to discuss every single thing that we've fought about all year!
What really drives me nuts is, I'm the only person who will remember what happened at the party and after. I hate it! People say things that they don't mean.....nice and not so nice......and I remember it. Maybe I'm overly sensitive and need to take a chill pill. I don't know. I have no way to gauge it.
Hubby had a horrible week. Quite a few at the party had a horrible week......the kind you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. I get that they needed to unwind. I just wish they'd play twister instead. Am I way off base here, or can you see my point of view?
38 comments:
Good Moaning~
Tina: Ditto. Alcohol...uggh. I feel just as vehemently against it as you do. It has caused so many SO MUCH PAIN...why?? So you can what, not remember the best experience you will ever have.....LIVING. I just can't do it anymore. I can't even take a drink because I know too much about the pain it causes this world. Death, verbal abuse, physical abuse, no feeling...not remembering..what more can be said.
So, I agree completely and feel just as strongly against it..even more so lately.
It has destroyed my ex..that and other substances..has completely destroyed him.
Good morning to all too..sorry, in my passionate haste, I forgot to say good morning! :)
ahem...(pushes Bloody Mary out of site...)
Morning Glories!
Tina I get it. I was raised by an alcoholic who gets mean when he drinks.
Personally feel that alcohol affects more families and causes more deaths than cigarettes, but we don't do the studies on that do we? And my heavens if we try to tax it at the same rate as tobacco there is a call to war. imjs.
I don't hate alcohol I hate that our society won't admit that it is just as deadly as other substances, and causes more problems. imho
Lynn, I wanted to hit "like" on your post..oh gosh..Facebook has taken over my mind! ha ha. Great post though and so true.
It has to make you wonder why alcohol is not looked at more closely...could it be that a society that doesn't remember and lives for the weekend of drinking..uggh. Holidays are the worst too.
hey!
thanks for the well wishes yall....I am very busy working on everything that will go into Lisas memorial....its going to be a wonderful catered affair at the 7F lodge where she and Mark got married....google it and check it out...its really a pretty place. Nothing religious....but a marvelous video montage of pictures chosen by Lisa....I saw it last night....Lisa insisted that there be no sad music...so it was just full of thrills and laughter....
She wanted cremation and her ashes will be spread somewhere on this planet but Mark hadn't said much yet....he is having a very hard time...
Lisas family has drawn me into their inner circle....for which I am thankful....you need a bossy bitch to get things done at a time like this....
I am ok...really. Lisa had a "good death"......she was at home surrounded by her family and it was all over within 24 hours...
There is just so much to do right now...I don't have time to get mired down in it....
Shirley...I did tear up pretty good when I saw what you have done....thank you....very touching and thoughtful....
Gotta run ladies!! I hope when all this is squared away to share some of the beauty being created for Lisa here with you all...not sad...inspirational!!
Tina. Grest bkog topic. Prohibition didn't work out too well. It is too much a part of our culture and of other cultures that now reside in this country. I'm not a fan of wine but besides it's current popularity with all sorts of people, it. Is part of holiday dinners and family celibrations, religious customs, etc. Many enjoy abeer or two at a ballgame or bbq. I enjoy a Bloody Mary on occasion. I am close to two people who cannot drink because they are alcoholics so they don't.
Btw, I am at SFO waiting to fly to ONT. Will be spending Thanksgiving week with my mom. :)
DeeDee. I could tell by her photos that Lisa was a creature of love and light. She continues to shine and always will. My thoughts and prayers are with you and her family.
Wow. I've been out of the loop. DeeDee, I snooped some pics of Lisa a couple months back. What a beautiful woman. I've thought of her (and you) often. You're both inspirations.
Drinking... not for me. Mean drunks shouldn't drink. Period.
California recently had a marijuana initiative on the ballot. It didn't pass. What I don't understand is, alcohol is a drug. Why is it legal, but marijuana isn't? They should both be illegal, or both be legal. I don't get it.
I just saw that I typed "grest bkog". LOL. Maybe it's Ukranian.
Waving at Bebbi and LynnD.
Hi, Bonach. I see you flew in while I was busy typing in tongues.
Oh. And as long as I'm pondering this legal shit; How is it that Absinthe, previously a banned substance in the USA, suddenly became okay?
I want to know who I have to blow to get legislation to go my way.
TINA - Boy this hits home. My hubby was an alcoholic for most of our married life. Thankfully he has been sober for over 3 1/2 years. I myself do enjoy a Spotted Cow or 2, but really I could take it or leave it. That is the difference between my hubby and I. He COULDN'T stop!! Most nights it was a 12 pack, but on the weekends it was 18. Thank God for AA....and his wonderful sponser. I got my hubby back and the kids got their father back.
DEE DEE - I'm so sorry about your friend Lisa. She is the brightest angel in heaven now ♥
Waving a wing at the rest of the HOoters. Got a roast, carrots and potatoes in the crock pot, and an apple crisp in the oven. See you later ♥
Hi hooters,
Dee I am so sorry to hear about Lisa. Her life celebration sounds wonderful! Glad she could do things the way she wanted.
Tina, good blog today. I am not a drinker. I may have a glass of wine once or twice a year, that's it.
MR. EBJ was arrested over 25 years ago on his Harley for dui, and has not drank since.
It is nice that it isn't an issue, as I had a serious boyfriend years ago who was an alcoholic.
So glad that didn't work out. He was a total sloppy drunk who ended up losing his drivers license, his job, and developed liver problems.
He may be dead now, I wouldn't be surprised.
JL have a safe flight and a fun holiday with your mom!
Have a good afternoon!
Good Afternoon!
TINA: I understand what you're saying. I had a couple of relatives that said the meanest things when they drank. Things that I still remember..but that they forgot they had said by the next day. So although they hurt a lot of people's feelings, you couldn't really confront them because they just didn't remember..and if you did try calling them on it, they would deny they would ever say such things. It was very frustrating.
I'm not much of a drinker anymore. I was a very happy, loving drunk though..probably too much so..which in some ways can be just as annoying as being mean when you drink. Now when I do drink it's usually one beer or one glass of wine. That's enough for me.
TINA - Just an afterthought.....we all got really tired walking on eggshells around my hubby. I learned a long time ago to never provoke a drunk. He truly would not remember what he had said. Not to mention that he is a type 1 diabetic. His blood sugar would plummet after drinking. I remember one morning in particular. I was already at work and the kids were calling by 5:30 am saying that Daddy couldn't walk, talk, or stand up. By the time that I got home his blood sugar level had reached a scary 40...the man should've been in a coma. I made it quite clear that I never wanted our children to see him like that again. We were all afraid he was going to die. He totally took it to heart and within 6 months had joined AA and hasn't looked back since.
DEEDEE: I'm so sorry to hear about your dear friend Lisa. It sounds like the memorial you are planning will be beautiful and filled with wonderful memories.
LYNN: I agree with you. Alcohol should be taxed the same way that cigarettes are..I wonder why it isn't?
J/LIN: Have a wonderful holiday with your mom! Safe travels!
JODI: So when you say..see you later..do you mean like..for dinner? ;D
Roofers are back and knocking on my door..gotta run..waving a wing at BEBBI, EBJ and BONACHI!
JODI: That is just so scary! I'm glad he decided to get some help and is doing so well! :)
ATTN KMART SHOPPERS:
DIANNE wanted me to let you all know that she has been having computer modem problems and that's why she has been MIA. She is hoping that things will be fixed today! :)
TINA...great blog. I don't know that I HATE alcohol, but I certainly HATE the effects it has on some people.
I would have married Bill except I realized he loved alcohol more then me and probably more then he loved himself. He never "abused" me, but it was his priority. Didn't matter if he didn't have money for his bills, but he had money for his booze. So many plans abandoned because he was drunk or hung over. I couldn't...no WOULDN'T accept a life like that.
I never grew up around alcohol and drank a little in college and after, but now...almost nothing. I want to remember all the good (and bad) times and not thru a cloud. The first drinks in ages were in Chicago...and the last, too!!
HODI...I'm so glad that Paul got the help he needed. Glad for you, the kids and for him. Kudos to him for finally recognizing and admitting his problem.
BEBBI...I'm sorry you had to go thru all that. But my dear, you are a strong woman and can survive it...and THRIVE!
DEE DEE...I am sorry for your loss. Losing a dear friend can be harder then losing a family member. Her memorial will be lovely and loving. I was recently thinking about Lisa and I am sorry I didn't ask about her.
JUST LIN...enjoy your time with your mom.
LYNN...again, I agree wholeheartedly with your post.
Alcohol took the life of my dear sweet cousin. A drunk driver murdered her in her prime. He lost his life, too. What a waste. Her immediate family has still not recovered and there is a hole in our hearts forever.
Well, aren't I the blog hog!
So much pain around alcohol! My Mom developed quite the drinking problem after she turned 60, and while it is better now, there were some very rough patches. And it's all made much worse by the fact that she was (and continues to be) in complete denial about it, so we never get to talk and come to any closure on all the pain and disruption!
So where do I stand? I love to drink! Luckily, so does Jim, and luckily, neither one of us is a mean drunk, and luckily, neither one of us drinks to sloppy excess except occasionally in social situations. When I'm at home in Mountain View, most nights I don't drink at all. It's a recreational drug to me, not a compulsion.
Luckily.
Dee Dee: That sounded like a very moving service! Hugs!
J/L: Have fun in the Southland! We leave for Palm Springs either late tomorrow night or very early Wed morning.
Yes, Zona, it's going to stay chilly!
Tina you are not off base and I DO see your point of view. Maybe hubby needs to read this blog, so that HE can see your point of view. Please clarify something for me...was he driving the other night or were you?
I know that when I drink I can't stop at just 1. I drink to get drunk. That's why I don't drink anymore. Besides I take a lot of medications and I don't think it would be a good combination. My drink of choice is whiskey and I drink double or triples. I use to forget stuff too, and if I had money on me I would give it away. I was a very generous drunk, but I also got very depressed too.
BTW Tina verbal abuse is sometimes as bad or worse that physical abuse. imho. Once the words are spoken you can't take them back. I hope hubby realizes soon how all of this makes you and the kids feel and he stops. (((HUGS)))
Evening Bebbi, DeeDee (you are welcome), Lynn D, Just Lin, Bonachi, Jodi, EBJ, Zona, Maureen and Whabbear!
I would say from reading the comments, that alcohol has affected all our lives in one form or another.
Group grope time!!!!
(((HUGS)))
Tina you have mail!!
I think we should pass a law here at Owl Manor to make this place smoke free, alcohol free and sex free! What do you say Owls?
OK nighty night!! I have to go to the office tomorrow. Also tomorrow I get my brand new CPAP machine, humidifier and mask! Yeah!!!! I know, you don't really care but I'm excited!
Tina, I can't blame you for the way you feel. It is not easy seeing someone you love change like that.
I wasn't raised around drinking or smoking. I "learned" how to drink from my ex MIL. I didn't know then that she was an alcoholic and needed someone to drink with. I never really got into drinking until after my divorce. I drank a lot after work,sometimes at work. I had a lot of drinking buddies.
Rum & gin made me mean, so I quit them. One day I realized how lucky I was that I had not been stopped for driving drunk. Then I realized I could have hurt someone. I drink now & then, but never more than 2 or 3. I do like wine and a few fancy dancy drinks on vaca. In Vegas I try new stuff for the hell of it, but still stick to 2 or 3.
Mr Mary has drank every day that I have known him. Never during the day. Once he starts (about 7pm) he doesn't quit until he goes to bed, around 1 or 2. I don't know how he does it! I keep telling him he can't continue like he was still in his 20s or 30s! He is not a mean drunk. He has never said a mean word,never missed work, or spent money he couldn't afford.
What's a person to do? He has no desire to quit drinking or smoking. Such is life...
Dee Dee Dee, I was sorry to hear about your friend, but glad that her wishes were carried out about her service. {{Hugs}} to you.
So this has been a very interesting thread, Tina! All of us who've commented today have expressed at least a complicated relationship with alcohol, and it hasn't gotten off "scott free" with anybody, really.
And yet, isn't it interesting that when we have virtual owl celebrations, all forms of debauchery, including excessive alcohol consumption in the form of jello shots and other exotic forms of consumption, takes center stage?
Talk about approach/avoidance!
Whabbear, don't forget the "brownies" :)
I'm going to try posting on hubby's phone!!! It's been an exhausting day! My old boss and friend lost her husband to the same cancer my dad has. Tonight was the viewing. He was only 48! She's a strong lady, but it was so sad! Lol, I just tried to make a new paragraph and can't figure out how on here!!! Thank you eveeryone for sharing ur stories! I'm too pooped to comment to everyone, but I read them all. Thx~ and shirley...... I drove!
Goodnight ya ho's~
Nite Tinaho MUAH!!
PS Please keep the frickin there!!!
SNOW SNOW SNOW!!!!! Keep the SNOW there!!! And this on a keyboard lol!!!
I have read all the comments and they are all very interesting. My father was an alcoholic but I didn't realize it until I was an adult and I actually saw him sober. He was so much quieter. He used to tell us stories about drinking wine as a child in Italy, so his habit started early. He wasn't a mean or sloppy drunk. I think he was just buzzed all of the time. I remember him putting anisette in his morning coffee and drinking a bottle of wine each night with dinner and he hid booze in the garage so my Mom wouldn't see it.
When he was 80-something he had to have knee surgery and he had DTs when he came out of the recovery room. The doctor prescribed 4 oz. of wine with lunch and dinner for the time he was in the hospital so he could maintain his alcohol level. The doc said that wasn't a good time to get him to quit.
I joke all the time about drinking wine, but the truth is I don't drink that much. I am usually the driver when a bunch of us go out and I never drink if I am driving.
Okay.I just wrote a whole bunch and lost it..grrr..
Mo: Thanks for the encouragement.
This blog just reiterates to me that I don't want to drink anymore. I appreciate this so much Tina..and I hope that things get better. Don't let the verbal abuse continue. You deserve WAY better than that. xo
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