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Monday, May 11, 2009

Advice or Opinion?


by Mary/MI

Last week I had my hair done where I have been going for years. I have only switched hairdressers 2 or 3 times. One gal I have known there has had her 3rd baby since she used to be my stylist. I had not seen the picture of her last baby who is 3 months old now. On my last visit I asked about her children. She said they were fine and mentioned her baby photo book. I told her I would look after having my hair done. When I was done she offered her album. I took it and found an area that was not busy. I looked at the photos. There were some of her older children. Then I saw her newborn. I had no idea he had a very bad cleft pallet. It covered a great deal of his nose. I didn't know if she was watching me because she was doing someone's hair. I took my time, composed my self and took the album back to her. I congratulated her on her new baby and told her she had a beautiful family. The baby was a precious gift and beautiful in spite of its deformity. My question is, did I react right? Should she have taken me aside and mentioned it to me? Should I have said something? What would you have done?

244 comments:

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Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Bebbi has is this for steps?!!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

290

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

291

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

292

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

almost

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

with

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

my

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

marching

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

OK I'm done.

Jodi said...

SHIRLEY - That's some workout!!! I hope it helps!! :O)

LANI - So great to see you posting today. Please give that adorable granddaughter of yours a (((HUG))) from WESconsin!! And your sil sounds like a saint....what a thoughtful thing to do on Mother's Day!!

Jodi said...

SACBARB - I actually think TINA is hiding out @ work!!! LOL!!

Jodi said...

ZONA - Come out, come out....wherever you are!!!

scirish said...

Just a quick fly by...Have not had a chance to read comments yet

Mary...You did fine...I wonder about the wisdom of the hairdressser not making a little aside comment to anyone about to view the albums. You recovered beautifully, but others may not have that ability. She is really putting herself at risk for some comments that may be hurtful to her.

Life is not being very joyful today. My best friend, Donna's Mother died yesterday and it was not an easy passing. I feel so bad for her, I know Mothers Day will never be the same.

My Mother is not doing well, she called me this morning and said she thought she had had a stroke. I'm not sure, she seems fine now except for her eyes which don't look like they line up right. She is wheezing very badly from the COPD also, but did not want to go to the hospital. She wouldn't let me make a Doctors appt either. She did let me take her laundry to do, as I don't think she should go downstairs anymore. I am very worried, frustrated and tired.

sacBarb said...

Scirish, I am so sorry about your friend's Mom. How heartbreaking, not only to lose her Mom but on Mother's Day.

Sorry that your Mom is going through some challenges too. I hope she lets you take her to the doctor. I'll keep you both in my prayers.

Jodi said...

SCIRISH - How awful for your friend!! And I will keep your Mom in my prayers. (((HUGS))) to you!!

Lynn D said...

Afternoon owls!

Flying through. It seems like my time during the week is not my own any more.

Scrishy sending you (((Hugs))) I am so sorry about your friends Mom. Worried about your Mom too! I hope she will agree to go to the doctor.

Goldie if you are handing out stuff from the gift basket I will take the chocolate. LOL

Shirley hang in there. My family already drove me crazy. Explains alot about me doesn't it?

Sacbarb what is this I am reading that you have some guy over to plaster your hole????

Jodi you can borrow anything of mine that you want! Muwwwah!

Lani so happy to hear that the baby is doing great!

Just lin I hate the stupid fasting blood work! Did mine last month.

Off to catch up on things here and then out the door again.

Just_Lin said...

Shirley Wow! I hope that made you feel better.

scirish (((HUGS))) I hope you can get your mom to the doctor, too.

Just_Lin said...

LynnD LOL @ the electricial plastering SacBarb's hole. I hope he fills it up good.

Maureen said...

LYNN...seems like you had the hi-test cawfee! Congrats on 1st!

SCIRISH...I am so sorry for your loss. Also, I hope your mom will finally consent and go to the doctor. {{hugs}}

MARY...you handled that situation perfectly. It showed dignity and grace. Regardless of his facial deformity, mom only sees her beautiful baby...so yes she does have a beautiful family. You have a very kind heart.

SACBARB...a two-fer for you today! Lucky girl!

MEK...I hope today has been better for you.

SHIRLEY...holy craparoni! I was exhausted just watching the march! You must be asleep already! You go girl!!

Waving to all the nesters!

Maureen said...

LYNN...OMG...Sacbarb getting her hole plastered??? I am so afraid to ask which hole! Just what was in your coffee this morning!!! You crack me up!

Tinkatia said...

Scirish - I am so sorry to hear about your friend's mother passing. (((Hugs))))

Mary/MI said...

It is after 9pm here. This is the first chance I have had to sit down! I am almost done packing and triple checking everything. I will have my laptop with the wireless thumb drive with me, so I will be peeking in everyday, so don't be talking about me lol!
Thank-you everybody for the reassuring comments. I feel better now. How great it is to have all of you here to bounce things off on!lol!

Sorry I can't stick around, but I have a couple things to iron and a quadruple check on the luggage.lol!!
Thanks for all the "safe travel" everyone muah!!!

Tina, I'm almost there!!!!!!!!!!

Jodi said...

Good night HOoters!!!

Tim totally rocked it @ his concert!!

I hope everyone has a great night. :O)

bonachichi said...

Those comments weren't so bad. Shirlely's taking this physical fitness thing seriously!!

I am... somewhere. When you take long flights, a lot of docs will give you pills to either keep you from jumping out of the plane, or make you sleep. I've had them before, but never taken them.

I figured, "what the heck". I took two (as prescribed) when I boarded the plane. I met my companion Rick (the guy next to me) then we waited for food (you get that on international flights).

I woke up to Rick poking me and asking me if I was okay.

Me: I don't know. Am I?
Other Passengers: You fell asleep with a fork in your hand. We thought you were dead!

Moral: Don't take knock-out pills on planes. You don't know where you'll end up!

I made it safely to Venice by way of Germany and will go to Geneva
later today (your tomorrow). I'll be working in a tunnel that extends into France, which is another country that isn't thrilled to see me. So I'm going to sneak. No border control underground!

Whab, I'm working on the Hadron Collider and am officially the dumbest person there. Wish you were here to explain some of it to me.

Hope everyone is having the time of their lives!! Do a happy dance for me about sneaking into France, would you?

sacBarb said...

Lynn, J/L, & Mo, The hole is plastered, but it was so much fun, he will be back on Friday to do it again.

Jodi, The 3-some was fun too.

Shirley, as for the biggest tool belt, I'll never tell.

Lani, nice pic of the necklace and your rack.

bonachichi said...

Scrish, so sorry about your mom! I see that everyone's supporting you. Count me in!

sacBarb said...

Jodi, Yay for Tim.

bonachichi said...

Sorry, Scrish... Your friends mom. Pls understand I'm trying really hard to keep from becoming ESL with all the languages spoken here.

Maureen said...

BONACCI...can ya do me a favor? Go to Piazza St. Marco, get a tiramisu flavored gelato and sit on the steps and watch the people for a while....m'kay??

SACBARB...ohhh, getting your hole plastered again next week!!

JODI...glad to read Tim rocked it! You have quite the musical family!

Sandie said...

Hey owls, long day! I'm super busy and am expecting my MIL, SIL, an uncle and aunt on Thursday so trying to get the house ready, too. Probably won't be stopping in too much this week.

Mary, as a Mom of a child with a birth anomaly (three fingers and a thumb on each hand), I am very surprised that your hairdresser did not say anything before handing you the pictures. Personally, I feel bad for people who notice on their own and get that "look" on their face; I don't want them to feel uncomfortable about it because we're not uncomfortable about it! (I'm not talking about strangers, but people I know.) None of that really applies now--this was when she was a baby. Now it's just not something that ever crosses my mind! Aubree is pretty up front about it though--when she meets someone new, she just throws it right out there just to get it out of the way. Anyway, Mary, you did a great job handling it!

Shirley, you must be tired!

Jodi, that's great about Tim!

Bonacci, be careful!

I'm sorry I'm not saying a personal hello to each one of you--I've got to get to bed. So much to do, so little time.

By the way, who's letting all the MILs and SILs out lately anyway???

Have a great week!!

JoeyfromSC said...

Hey y'all!!!

ROFLMAO@shirley's major workout!! WOW, do you have carpel tunnel now? lol

Happy Belated Mother's Day to you all!! I went to my brother/sis-in-law's house and spent the night..They have dial-up and rarely get on(living out in the country) so, I couldn't tell y'all yesterday!!

I skimmed and it sounds like you all had a fab day!! Goldie, how'd you win that door prize basket? sure sounds nice!!

Mary, I think you handled the situation just fine....like others have pointed out, mothers see the beauty in their own child, no matter what deformity they may be born with...I still find it a bit odd that she didn't kinda elude to it before handing you the photobook!

I sent my Aunt an amazing card I designed online from my brothers and myself! She didn't get it until today though!!!! ughhh lol

She didn't care!! Her reaction was priceless...She said she'd keep it forever and that she almost cried but decided to give a huge smile instead!

Back to watching Desperate Housewives and my other shows online..I had to let cable go last week, and I'm finding creative ways to watch things haha

Hope everyone has a great night and wonderful Tuesday!

JoeyfromSC said...

scirish: sorry to hear about your friend's Mother!! I'll pray for her and her family!

JoeyfromSC said...

Thanks for the kind comments/emails about the Mother's Day bulletin in memory of my Mom yesterday on myspace!! I appreciate it!

now it's even 324 haha

Tina~in_ut said...

Sandie~ who gives a rats ass who let out the in-laws....i just wanna know how we give them back!!!!~!

Shirley~ did that work for you? Cuz I just may need to march a couple thousand....ijs~

It's so bad here, my own mother put me on her prayer list!!! ijs~

Congrats on first.....person who got first~

SacBarb~ I remember earlier today...while I was hiding at work, you made me laugh~

Mo~ you always make me laugh~

Scirish~ prayers for you and ur family~

Mary~ we need to talk~

Kgrl~ Hope ur better~

Di~ Hi....cuz i know you are reading this and want to post back to me real bad like and can't figure out how.... :)~

DeeDee~ you freaking rock~ and pebble~

Hi and bye to everyone else...if I make it to next Monday...There is a God~

Tina~in_ut said...

hell....how embarrassing....still cinco de mayo...i changed~

LynnD~ congrats on first~ :D

Mary~ oops....sorry....GREAT BLOG!! You did the right thing~

Just_Lin said...

Tina For a minute there, I wasn't sure if that was Chris Daughtry or Vin Diesel! LOL

Tina~in_ut said...

woa!!!! J/L~ thems fightin' words~

whabbear said...

Mary: I think you did it exactly right. She would have known that you would see the deformity, and I'll bet she appreciated the honesty!

whabbear said...

Bon: What are you doing at the LHC? Kewl!

sacBarb said...

Tina, Glad I made you laugh.

Good night and sweet dreams J/L , Bear, Tina, and the rest of the Owls and to the lurkers too.

Lani said...

Thanks JODI - I will give her a hug from WEsconsin. I like your new look....could you be related to another person on the blog?

Thank you LYNN

SCIRISH - sending hugs and healing.

MARY - happy travels

JODI - I didn't know about TIM'S concert....glad it went well.

Good night everyone.

Maureen said...

BIRDEEEEE...sending you and Bozie positive vibes today. It'll be ok.

ibebold said...

Morning all.... have to get work ... can't wait for a new blog...

Hope everyone has a great day...

Scirish... {{{HUGS}}}}}

jigglin' in jax said...

That was a toughie question....glad I'm last.

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