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Thursday, May 13, 2010

Are there really ever any “Missed Connections”?


by Bebbi

Connections change our world. With Facebook I am able to be in contact with people that were at one time just a fond memory. It is so nice to connect with people that have helped build who I am or I have help build part of their history. Also “Missed Connections”, like on Craig’s list or other sites make it easy to reconnect again today than it ever was before. Is there such a thing as two ships passing in the night anymore?

There is a commercial on television right now that shows a president being inaugurated and it flashes back in time to a man on a train platform and he sees a girl and changes his ticket on his quick wonderful phone to get a seat beside her. That caused me to reflect about how one connection leads to another which can ultimately be the person you spend your life with.

This mental journey leads me to one of my favorite poems:

Reason, Season, or Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
— Unknown

My favorite line besides the “Reason, Season & Life” is this: “friendship is clairvoyant”. Clairvoyance is defined as the power or faculty of discerning objects not present to the senses and ability to perceive matters beyond the range of ordinary perception. What makes me realize that someone is important? What makes us want to make it a “Lifetime” rather than a reason or a season? Is it something within us or is it something more? Are some people more predisposed to want one of the three – Reason, Season or Life? Do we need all three?

When writing this blog, I thought to myself there are really three blogs here…one about making connections, one about keeping connections and one about missed connections.. I would love to hear y our stories of your connections… Have you missed any and then found them? Have you had people come back into your life again and been very happy for it? Do you think that it should be “it is what it is”.. and people should move on? I always have hope for more, not sure why, but I do. Do you mind being two ships passing in the night?

86 comments:

Bebbilane said...

YES! haha..I love being so tacky..it feels good.

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Tacky is not nice!

Bebbilane said...

Shirley: Good morning,,,but I am nice, truly I am...just a bit tacky.

Bebbilane said...

Shirley: Our pics actually look somewhat alike. That is EXACTLY how I look in the morning before shower and makeup!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Well alright then. (reluctantly) *sigh* Congrats on 1st Bebbi.

Bebbilane said...

Our pics are making me laugh..it's like before...and after..roflmao.

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

What are you saying Bebbi? I have make up on. Look how it enhances my eyes and makes them stand out. And I have lipstick on too!

Bebbilane said...

LOL Shirley..!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

If I didn't know better I would say you were making fun of me Bebbi...but I know you wouldn't do that...RIGHT?

Bebbilane said...

Oh NO Shirley! I was making fun of me!!! Like, you have to see it, really..look at the two pics...I mean..long brown hair..and I really do look like that some mornings...but of course, you HAVE to see it.. am I going crazy here? Does anyone else see the resemblence between Shirley's pic and mine?? lol

DeeDee said...

now what is the question? Something about connecting to a season for a reason?
Bebbo....r u trying to confuse me?

Hey Shirley....how are things in Reykjavík this morning?

Bebbilane said...

DeeDee: I know..my blog was all over the place..

I just have been thinking a lot about connections with people. Like, for example, last night I was talking to a girl that I rode the bus with in school. Her brother graduated in my class and he was a nice guy..fond memories of him, just amazed we can reconnect...

Some people don't want to reconnect with many. I do, and I like it..is that so wrong? What are your feelings about connecting with your past relationships?

It has made me think if there is anyone I would really rather not reconnect with..and for me, the answer is no.

DeeDee said...

I can certainly see the resemblance in Shirley and Bebbka's pictures...as long as ur askin'....I'm answerin'...

Bebbilane said...

Like today..the kids who break up..they will stay friends on facebook and not lose the connections like we used to...how does that affect our lives? I find it interesting.

Bebbilane said...

Seeee...told ya Shirley..and DeeDee..that is me in the morning before my diet coke, shower, etc..lol.

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Ok I'm not sure I believe in the whole thing about "we were meant to meet for a reason". Sounds a bit hokey to me. Just my opinion. I think meeting all of you was a great coincidense, but I don't think it was orchestrated by something else. Again, just my opinion. People have come and gone and then come back into my life, but that's how life works. In and out...in and out...in and out...in and out...sorry my mind wondered for a minute!

Bebbilane said...

oh in and out...perk!

Bebbilane said...

So Shirley, you believe in the randomosity of it all?

Bebbilane said...

Why is it some people we feel a stronger connection with than others? I would love to have the answer to that question.

Bebbilane said...

There are so many aspects of this to talk about..I guess I enjoy sociological discussions.

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Yes I believe in randomosity. Life is what it is. No plan, no adgenda, no hidden meaning, just life. If there was some sort of plan then explain to me why it includes my mother suffering like she does every day?

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Morning DeeDee! Things here in Reykjavík (Nova Scotia for the rest of you) is just dandy! Sun is out. How about you? Things ok in Tasmania?

Bebbilane said...

Shirley: That is a good question and a good case for randomosity. Do you believe in soulmates?

See, I believe in soulmates and some design in our lives. I don't understand the pain and suffering part though..

Zona said...

Good Morning!

BEBBI: This is a beautiful poem..and so true in so many ways. I always want people I've made a connection with to stay in my life..but sadly, sometimes they don't. I'm so soft hearted that I seem to almost grieve when a friend turns out to only be here for a Reason or a Season. Even if I haven't seen or talked to someone in a long time..I still believe that once my friend..always my friend..at least in my eyes. Which kind of answers your second question. I love reconnecting with those I haven't seen in a while..it's one of the reasons I like FB so much.

There are so many layers to your blog today BEBBI..I'm going to have to read it a couple more times to give you a better answer than those I gave above.

SHIRLEY: How are you feeling this morning? Better I hope!

DEEDEE: Yikes! Talk about having to hoist and rinse well!! ;)

TINA: I just hit 'spellcheck' and it said "No spelling errors"! woohoo!! Now I need to find grammar check..LOL! :D

JODI: Congrats on being able to set that wind up key aside! :)

J/LIN: I hope you are feeling better today as well!

BIRRRDDDEEEE!! I see you!! SWAK! :D

MO, SACBARB, GOLDIE and TINA: It sure sounds like JBJ is getting a workout..I hope he's up for it..ijs.. ;)

Bebbilane said...

25 because I can.

DeeDee said...

oh okay...

the answer is no then....my relationships tend to be pretty intimate so I always have a full plate with most of my posse going back at least 25 years....

and I have to say that keeping Tina halfway in line....and properly groomed is a full time job....so nobody better call me with a perky reconnect while I have Helen "Tina" Keller in a choke hold on the floor trying to teach her to respect her elders!!! (and not to throw her food at me)

Bebbilane said...

Zona: Good morning! You and I are alike in that sense. I learned something about you today. I feel exactly the same way. I grieve the "reasons and seasons" too. I feel a connection with you now, in that regard!

Bebbilane said...

DeeDee: Did you live most of your life in one place? Sometimes I wonder how much of a difference that makes on how we view our connections. My childhood was kind of disjointed so I cling to my connections maybe more so than others.. My theory being that I missed that as a child and need it more than others...

Zona said...

BEBBI: I don't believe life is all that random..I really think there is a course set out for us. I do believe we can alter that course by using free will though.

SHIRLEY: I don't know why good people have to suffer..your mom, my folks..the loved ones of others on this blog. It doesn't make sense to me. I have a feeling there is a long line in Heaven for those that would like to ask that very question.

Bebbilane said...

DeeDee: And, taking care of Tina is a fulltime job..LOL. Did you see she had a Jeremy and Cliff Sandwich yesterday?..you need to teach her proper ways to act in class too! tsk tsk.

Bebbilane said...

DeeDee: Ooops..it was Clint..not Cliff....lol Close, but no Cigar! Oh wait, that was CLINTON.

Bebbilane said...

Zona: I believe that too!!!!!!!!!

DeeDee said...

Shirley.....Fine!! Thanks for asking....Here in Hobart its cool...should be about 58 during the day...

Zona....hows the weather there down by the fence.....lol

Bebbilane said...

DeeDee: Love your pic..did youdo something different with your hair and get a boob job? lol

night.owls.sb said...

Good Morning Everyone..

Bebbi... I need to drink my coffee before I can think about your blog, there are several cobwebs floating in my head.. :O)

night.owls.sb said...

Pics of chocolate goodness have been added to my blog from yesterday.. can't wait to dig in!

Goldie once again TY.. SWAK

DeeDee said...

Bebbi....I have always maintained residence in Texas.....childhood and school thru 12th were all here.....and college...and law school....oh! and defensive driving....

and other than up to a year here and there....it has all been here....same place....

well not the same house....I have scaled down a bit....

night.owls.sb said...

Wish I could stay.. but I can't :( working alone today.. could not find coverage..

My business partner is not doing well, they have him in rehab, not sure when he will be back..

ok, off I go..

Have a Great day Everyone!

Bebbilane said...

Carol: NICE!!! Ghiradelli too..yum!

Shirley: LOL!

DeeDee: You are lucky. I have finally "grew roots" and I appreciate it so much.

Bebbilane said...

Carol: Thinking of you and your business partner today. You have little angels over here worrying about you..hang in there..!! Hope your day is good and keep that smile in your eyes, heart and on your lips. :)

Bebbilane said...

And, wipe that chocolate off your lips too..hehe ;)

goldie said...

Good Morning Hooters!
Tacky is as Tacky does..... lol

LOL@the pic debate between Shirley and Bebbi!

Carol- all my best to you and your business partner. I am pretty sure that I know what he is going thru and I don't wish it on anyone...

Did I tell you all about 'Flat Stanley'? He is here as a school project for my 8 year old nephew. I have to show around town, meet interesting people and take pics and so forth and send him back telling about what he has done, gone, and met.

Well, today I left him across the hall for the whole day(!) with the creative minds of the art dept of an advertising agency. My only stipulation was keep it clean and you can not vilify Stanley.

I can't wait to see the pics when they return him to me. These are some crazy ass (fun) young people.

OH MY GOSH- as I write this I see "Stanley" heading out the door with Steve, a camera, a ladder and plastic snowman.......

DeeDee said...

SHIRLEY!! that is NOT my baby picture!

Cameras weren't invented yet when I was a baby!!

Bebbi.....boob job!? Why do you say that?

Ok Shirley...cameras were around when I was a baby....but that brings up something that I have never talked about in an open forum......

but I know I can tell you all...my friends....and get all the loving support that this place is all about.....and the ((()))'s and warm angels...^j^ ^j^....

here goes.....I was such an ugly baby that whenever we had pictures done my Mother replaced me with a cousin or a friends baby that wouldn't ruin the picture...

so all my baby pictures aren't even me.....

even growing up everyone would slowly converge so that I couldn't be seen....or...once again I would be shoved out of the way so a replacement could take my place with the family.....

But thankfully my young life of mistreatment and LOW self esteem changed when I blossomed into the beautiful schwan you see today....

this was sooo hard to share....but I think I feel better knowing I have shared it in a place so steeped in caring.....

could someone pass me a tissue....?

I think I'm gonna need some parenthesis (forward and backward) now.....sniff...sniff

goldie said...

passing a tissue to Dee Dee as well as the Nobel Prize for fiction literature..........lol

Lynn D said...

Deedee look down. I think there just might be a couple of boxes of kleenex in that bra of yours. imjs

Lynn D said...

Morning Glories!

Bebbi you are first and so beautiful this morning!

Shirley you are close but that look on your face is sayin' I need more coffee and a good bowel movement before the beauty kicks in.

Reason,season,treason,lesion....where was I going with this??? Sorry my mind wandered there for a minute.

Do people come into our lives for a reason. Sure, but most of us assume that they are trying to carry a message or a lesson for us. I tend to think that may be true but what if we are the ones supposed to carry a message or lesson to them? Two way street and all of that.

Why do some friendships last and some don't. Well I really don't have the answer to that. Either it was what was needed at that moment in time, or you grow at different paces or it was just not a healthy relationship to begin with. Every one has their hang ups and limits so I would call that random.

True friends accept you warts and all but there is a mutual respect and love there. imho. They share your secrets and good times and do not judge. They respect your space and limitations but still try to help where they can. I think that is because they respect themselves as much as you.

Fate, Random, a path laid out? The more I learn the less I know.

There is so much more to this blog today Bebbi that I could read it three times and come up with different meanings. Good job as it is one to mull over.

Lynn D said...

Carol is that a lump of fudge in the one bag???? Oooooh I want that!

Hope your day is better. I really hope that your partner is back and healthy soon.

Bebbilane said...

I hope everyone's day is going well. I worked out at lunch and coming back in got drenched...in a serious downpour! I am still drying out! No umbrella as I have my daughter's car all week because she needed mine to bring home her fridge from school. Oh joy, joy.

Bebbilane said...

Although, I am sure everyone got a view because I had serious wet shirt going one..haha...egads!

night.owls.sb said...

ok.. so the chocolate covered peanuts are 1/2 gone..

now to tackle the Ghiradelli!

:O)

Bebbilane said...

Carol: Oh, I love chocolate covered peanuts..! :) That sounds good. :)

Tina~in_ut said...

Good Morning~

Tina~in_ut said...

how tacky is this? I just woke up~ I was woken up by my kids coming home from school! omg!!!!!

Bebbi....not tacky....congrats on first~

LynnD~ you got me with ur kleenex remark! Fantastic!!!!! :D

Bebbilane said...

Tina: Man, life of leisure! It must be nice..sleep all day, party all night?

Bebbilane said...

Hope Bonachichi's doing okay with the new job and all. Bon, if you are out there..and read this..don't let them work you to death!

Bebbilane said...

Well, had a nice nap and now I am up...! Had to change my pic because Shirley was trying to look just like me..haha.

Bebbilane said...

64

Bebbilane said...

65

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67

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68

Bebbilane said...

69~!

Bebbilane said...

70 *lights a cigarette*

Maureen said...

BEBBI...thought provoking blog. I am really too tired to be able to give it too much thought though.

I am thinking about one of my closest friends and we met at work a million years ago. It was instantaneous...we became friends as soon as we met and have been ever since.

Sometimes friends just drift away. No real reason other then life getting in the way of living. I think those friendships can be picked up, as if no time has passed, when the time is right.

I need a nap. I will BBL to comment.

Bebbilane said...

Hey Mo: You sound tired. I took a nap and sure feel more refreshed..need to get up and walk off my ice cream cone though..haha.

Mary/MI said...

Oye Bebbi you make my head hurt lol!
I had a comment then I didn't I did, then I didn't. Not sure which question to answer! Here is an attempt.....

I believe I am here on earth for a reason, surely someone will tell me why some day!
I connect,disconnect reconnect. I am open to all!
There, I really have a headache now lol!!

Shirley, You are too funny today!

DeeDee, stay away from Tina with those hooters!! I am still healing from Chicago!

Bebbilane said...

LOL Mary! I do believe my blog was a little overwhelming for all today. Sorry, my thoughts run deep about this whole new world we live in that allows us to stay connected! It is a pretty deep subject and to top it off, I said a lot in the blog..lol. oops! Now I feel like WHABBY ! And, Whab, I only mean that in the best way..like I never thought I would delve so deep on a subject...haha

Mary/MI said...

Bebbi, there is nothing wrong with your blog. I loved it! Just teasing you :). Well, it was a "little" like a "Wabb-blog lol!

Mary/MI said...

I have been off line all day. I haven't even farmed! It was pouring rain today. Not a good puppy training day! My jackets have been in & out of the dryer all day.
I did sneak out to get my roots done. My hair had bleached out in the Caribbean. Tomorrow Dr Apptmt and my Grandson's baseball tournament.
BBL gottah hoe around!

sacBarb said...

Happy Thursday Owls.

Bebbi, Very thought provoking blog. I believe people come into our lives for a reason, even though sometimes I never learn what the reason is. I also believe, like Lynn, that it may be for me to learn something and sometimes for them to learn something.

AS far as missed connections go, if I missed them, I guess I'll never know. I have met people with whom I have made instant connections and for the most part, we remained friends. Some of them however, were only there for a season. I don't know why that is and I also don't know why people have to suffer from illnesses. These are just some of the questions for which I guess I will never have answers.

I do know that all of the people I have connected with, whether long term or short, have contributed in some way, big or small, to making me who I am today.

sacBarb said...

Bebbi, Congrats for getting first on your own blog. It's not that tacky really, given it's been done before by others to remain anonymous, Tina.

Oh Zona, he is certainly UP for it.

Carol, is that chocolate all over your face? I sure hope so!

Shirley and J/L, I hope you both are feeling better today.

Dianne, LMAO @ my package in the mail today. TYVM.

I got my car fixed today. I can now move my seat again and see over the steering wheel. Yayyyyy :)

Waving a wing to all the other Owls. Hope to be back later.

Lynn D said...

Evening Owls,

I just don't know what is wrong with me I am dragging. I slept on and off again today and my energy level is so low.

Great responses to Bebbi's blog. I wish I had the frame of mind to contemplate it more but I just can't work up the energy.

Hope everyone has a great evening

I am so sapped I don't even care if my tomato's wither on FT.

bonachichi said...

Bebbi, thanks for asking after me. I'm fine... just working long hours. The CEO of my sister company calls at all hours and has no concept of "working hours". No complaints...

Tina asked about my job. It's a software company. I write most of the software, although I have a guy come in now and again to help out. Then I demo it to people who are interested in it. If they buy it, they actually buy a license and I provide support (bugs, new features and "how to" information). I'm a software geek, so all this meeting with companies, paperwork, etc. is new to me, so I'm trying to get up to speed.

BTW: Chocolate sucks, imho

bonachichi said...

A word about connections... I left my past in the past. Except one friend from 9th grade. I didn't reconnect with her online, we were working on the same production and bumped into each other. I'm glad for that. I'll see her, her mother and her horndog brother tomorrow.

Tina~in_ut said...

omg! Bonachichi! them there's fightin' words!!! Chocolate is god-like! you take it back or i'll spank you! (unless you are like most here and would like it...in that case, I'll pinch you)

bonachichi said...

LynnD, you're probably tired from that trip to Chicago. Sometimes people have a hard time bouncing back.

East Bay J said...

Great blog Bebbi!

I am really tired from a super busy day at work. I tried to write this at lunch and kept getting interrupted! And now my brain is kinda slow!

One connection that has happened since I joined Facebook are people I went to highschool getting back in touch with me.

I didn't have a lot of friends in HS, my friends were all older and I wasn't into most of the HS stuff.

But now, I have gotten back in touch with quite a few people that I knew but was not friends with. It's pretty cool!

My best friend and I met in HS, we had a history class that was taught by the football coach. There were 5 girls in the class, so while the guys talked football, the 5 of us girls would huddle in the back and talk!

Lisa and I hit it off right away, and we've been friends since we were 16!

I am the type of person that doesn't like to let go, I liked to stay friends with old boyfriends.

I probably sound scattered! When I re-read this tomorrow I am sure I'll go what the hell? hee hee

Just over an hour until Survivor. Can't believe there's only 2 episodes yet!

But the Bachelorette will be starting soon! Yipee!

Tina~in_ut said...

hi EBJ~

Bebbi~ I've been thinking about this all day~ A lot of people have told me that I have one person to thank for meeting ya'll~ I don't agree. I think I meet who I meet when I'm supposed to meet them....when I need them most~ And I think I would have met some of you anyway. I meet people all the time. I meet them on the phone at work and stay in touch with them. I've even had people try and find me again and want to be friends. I keep in touch with an author I met on the phones....and the only reason we got to talking is because my computer went down and I had to kill time. I've met people on vacation. I think you have to be open to stuff like that.

I was friends with a girl in high school and even visited with her in Australia when she moved there. We were in each others weddings...well...i was supposed to be, but had my son the same week. We lost touch, but one day, I called her mom to see how they were all doing, and now Christy and I are back in touch.

I think Facebook is amazing for finding so many people, but I see people with 300, 400, and 500 "friends" and wonder how they can truly keep in touch with all of them. I really only let just a few people in to get to know the real me! (quite frankly, I don't think many could take it!) :D

So...is that the answer you were looking for?

xoxoxoxo,

Helen Tina Keller~

p.s. DeeDee (((((({{{{{HUGS}}}}})))))~

Bebbilane said...

Mary: LOL, I know you were just teasing..hey I can take it.

LynnD: I hope you are not coming down with something. Sorry you feel so run down. :(

Bonachichi: I figured you were working 24/7! You certainly throw yourself into your work! Also, my daughter doesn't much care for chocolate and neither does one of my sons for that matter. We he made his first trip to a grocery store by himself he came back with a snack..I figured chocolate, chips..etc. Nope, he came home and was so proud because he bought a pack of SWISS CHEESE! haha... He was probably about 7 or 8.



Sacbarb: You made me laugh when you spoke of the anonymous person who tends to get first on her own blog..of course, you never mentioned any names..roflmao..(tina)...haha...too funny!

Tina: I am that way too, I make a lot of friends from all types of areas in my life and keep in contact with most. I certainly look for it and am outgoing in the sense that I cherish my connections and am sad when life gets in the way. I do have to say my emotions run deep with it comes to my love of people! :)


EBJ: that is neat that the connections you are making with your high school classmates is different now than it was in high school. I find that interesting!

Bebbilane said...

I had 22,039 steps today. muahahahaha..I rock. Although, I did have an ice cream cone thingy tonight..shame on me. AND, have any of you ever tried V-8 Splace Tropical Blend? MANNNNNnnn that stuff is good..drank two glasses and then realized the first ingredient is: HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP...ugh.

Bebbilane said...

It's actually V-8 SPLASH...not splace..not sure what a splace is.

Bebbilane said...

Goodnight Ladies (and gents)..sweet dreams..to bed late again..I can't wait for the weekend.

Just_Lin said...

Bebbi Great blog today and congrats on being the first one to be tacky today. You look great in red, btw.

Shirley and DeeDee You two have been cracking me up!

Sorry I didn't make it in here earlier. I did manage to go to Curves today to exercise even thoough I still have a bit of a cold and didn't really feel like going.

Jodi said...

BEBBI - Great blog!! I agree with TINA in the fact that some of us would've eventually met anyway. I have a very public job and have always made friends easily. I also believe that people are put in your life when you need them the most, so I understand the "seasonal" friends. I don't get my undies in a bunch when it is over....their purpose was served. I am a true friend thru and thru, but will not tolerate one sided friendships forever. These I eventually let go of too.

I hope everyone has a great Friday!! Don't have to work today....so WHY can't I sleep. UGH!!! Oh, well....time to make a pot of cawfee and jumpstart my day ♥

Jodi said...

CAROL - Not always a huge chocolate fan....but I LOVE chocolate covered peanuts!! ENJOY ♥

Bebbilane said...

J/L: Thanks for the compliment and way to go on going to Curves! ^5!

Good morning owls and I hope everyone has a good Friday. I am discouraged with my weight but determined to get to my goal. I cancelled two lunch opportunities yesterday so I wouldn't overeat and I went and worked out and the scale said I gained a pound this morning..grrr....dang it!


*sigh* Vent over.

Jodi said...

BEBBI - Just keep the fruits and veggies going....one good bm and you'll be right back on track....ijs!!