~ It Can Always Be Worse ~

by Tina~in_ut

As usual, on the way to the doctor, Dad did what he always does.  He talked.  Nonstop!  I still can't get used to it because he was always such a quiet man.  He usually talks about what's worrying him the most, and it's usually a family member.  This time, he talked about the side effects of the chemo.  His hands and feet are pealing and hurt like no tomorrow, his feet and ankles are way swollen, and he has a bad rash.  I didn't want to seem insensitive because I've never had to go thru what he is, but I couldn't help but think, "Dang, dad........it could be worse!"

I asked him how he was sleeping.  He said that he was back sleeping in his own bed, and actually sleeping rather well.  Before, on the chemo pills, he hardly slept at all unless he slept on the couch.  I asked him if he had any pain in his bones.  He said that all that had gone away.  Before, he was constantly telling us about this pain or that pain.....in his ribs, shoulder, or back.  Of course we all took that very seriously because of the kind of cancer he has. 

After his doc appointment, he had to go for his chemo.  I waited for him and, hours later, when he came out, he was his usual self, raring to go and wanting out of there.  Even before we got to the car, he was telling me that he has it so good and it could be so much worse.  He told me about this very thin woman and how they had so much trouble finding a vein to give her the chemo.  There was another woman in her 80's who had heart problems and diabetes on top of cancer.  In his words, "She was a mess!  They didn't even want to give her the meds because they were worried about her heart.  They should just take her out back and......"  I asked him, ".....and?"  He didn't answer me, but I knew what he meant.  This was my in to tell him what I thought.  I told him that yes, it could be so much worse and as weird as it is to say, he's lucky.  It's a very strange thing to say to someone with cancer and a broken neck, but had my dad become paralyzed, I don't think he'd ever consider chemo.  He wouldn't be able to stand not being able to get around.  It would have killed him.

So now when I wake up with a back ache, or remember that I have seizures, I think, "My God!  That's nothing!"  There are people with broken backs or those that wear helmets because their seizures aren't under control.  I have to remind myself that it can always be worse and thank God for what I do have!