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Thursday, June 3, 2010

LUCY AND ETHEL RIDE AGAIN

by Lynn D

Well Lucy and Ethel ride again!  Jodi, this is for you.

My friend Angel and I had to run an errand for the food bank today.  I don't know why, whenever she and I go out together on these missions, it turns into a Lucy show.

The food bank has a private donor that just set up an account with the local Cash and Carry for us.  We get to order fresh produce by the case weekly and then he pays and we pick up.  Sweet deal!  Fresh, fresh, fresh!

Well it was my week to p/u.  Angel and I had not seen each other in a few weeks so we decided to make a day of it and she would help me with the p/u.  We headed into the next big town/city Lacey where Cash and Carry is located.

Okay, can I just say that I knew it was going to be trouble when the cart looked like a flat bed truck?  The frickin cart was loaded taller than me.  At first I thought it was part of their aisle of items to purchase.  It took me a few minutes and several double takes to really get that this was our cart.  I had to push it to the register.  I damn near killed three people on the way as I had no visual at the front.  I muscled the cart to the front and waited patiently to be rung up.  All the time I kept thinking there is no F#@*ing way this is going to fit in Angel's Crown Vic.  Three body trunk or no, it just seemed like an no go.   I figured I would have to come back later and get the rest.  I also kept thinking Angel is going to F&@#ing kill me!  I am standing in line with all of these thoughts running through my head and I start to feel a hot flash coming on.  I think it just might have been a little stressful.

So I waited patiently while the guy rang up 6 cases of cabbage, 4 cases of green onions, 6 25lb bags of carrots, 2 cases of apples, 4 cases of navel oranges, and 2 cases of zucchini.  I think there was more, but it all seemed like a bad dream at this point.  I won't go into how long it took the clerk to ring the crap up because as far as I was concerned, he was doing it all ass backwards.  Finally, total given, check passed to him and he says, "Will you need help with this load?"  Very dead pan.  I look at him and I think my response was, "Uh Yeah."  I think I might have been a little sarcastic.  I know, I know.  Not me.

Well this guy calls someone to the register and then he leaves the register and several customers standing in line to help me with the load.  Okay, can I just say, who came up with this dumb ass system?  The customers in line get all cranky but he just starts pushing my cart out.  This guy had the personality of a cabbage.  I am thanking him profusely and still worried about all of it fitting into Angels car, trying to explain to him that I don't think it will and that I did not place the order, someone else did, and I had no idea they had ordered so much. He just kept giving me his dead cabbage stare.

We get to the car, thank God we had backed it in, Angel pops the trunk and gets out of the car, turns and spots the cart.  I saw her eyebrows shoot up past her forehead, and then she whips her head around and gives me the ole fish eye!!!  Yikes!  I look at her and shrug and I keep repeating like the rain man, "I did not place the order, I did not place the order."  The cabbage clerk, in the mean time, is looking at me and the car like you have got to be kidding.  After I remove a Tonka truck and few other items out of her trunk, I look at him and say, "Well here goes."  Still dead cabbage look. Mr. Personality, NOT.

Angel is in high gear at this point!  Grabbing boxes like a mad woman loading them in the back seat, thank God for big back seats!!!  Luckily she bought this car after her kids were grown.  Cabbage clerk is filling the trunk.  I am handing off produce and mumbling, "I did not place the order.  I can come back for the rest.  I can hold that case of oranges on my lap."  I tell you rain man channeled.  Unfricking believable it all fit!!!! I don't know how, but we got it in the car, one load!  I thank cabbage clerk again and he just gives me the dead look.

Angel and I crawl in the car and look at each other and crack up! Her first words were, "Wow, he had personality didn't he?"  Then we looked at each other again and laughed.  I loudly proclaimed once again, "I did not place the order!"

Finally, we were on our way.  I realized the back end of her car was now a low rider.  Two white women in a Crown Vic loaded to the gills with produce!  Now you have know that this trip takes about 25 minutes to a half hour back to Rainier.  We get about half way back and I shout, "SHIT"!!!  Angel whips her head around and asks, "What? What?"  I just hated to tell her I forget the damn keys to the food bank at my house.  Lord help me!  Thank God there was not anymore room in that trunk for my body!  Not even if she cut me up. She just sighed and started laughing.  We swung by my house and I grabbed the keys and Mr. Lynn D as he was home, to help unload it.

We arrive at the food bank and start unloading.  Angel pops the trunk and I think Mr. Lynn D is going to wet himself from laughing.  He still wants to know how in the hell we got all of that in her car.  We only had one little mishap after that when a box of cabbage went rogue and broke open.  I caught one between my knees.  I thought that was pretty tricky.  We gathered it all up and finally had everything put away, and I hear Angel say, "Remind me next time you call me for help to just say NO!"

I think this is why Angel and I have been friends for over 23 years.  We may reluctantly say yes to helping each other but we always do, and then we laugh our asses off and have great stories to tell later.  Friends!  I hope all of you have a friend that you can turn to no matter what and laugh like crazy with.  I am so damn lucky!

31 comments:

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

1

bonachichi said...

So fun when you've got someone nutty as you to play with! Next time, use a catapult, yes?

Happy Thursday to all and congrats to Shirley for getting a head start on running from DeeDee.

whabbear said...

Lynn D, did you have some traumatic experience with cabbages as a kid? LOL! What a great blog... enjoyed reading all your misadventures!

whabbear said...

Good morning, Shirley and Bon!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Lynn D if you're going to continue having adventures like that you need to start video taping them! That was so funny! LMAO!!! Thanks for sharing!

Morning Bonachichi and Whabbear!

Mary/MI said...

Shirley, you are so beautiful this morning! Did you tie & gag DeeDee & Tina? Now there is a Lucy & Ethel couple lol!!

Waving at Bonachi~~

LynnD,I have a girlfriend like that. We used to go to auctions,garage sales and Antique shows.One time at an auction I got carried away and bought a dresser and a rocking chair. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she had bid on an antique sewing machine that came with a table. I don't know how we did it, but we crammed it all into her car & trunk! We looked like the Beverly Hillbillys lol! Every time we passed a sale sign we would look at each other and crack up! We wanted to stop sooo bad !!

bbl, DDS appt. at 11:30
Have a great day everyone!

Mary/MI said...

Whabby!! Welcome back from your vaca!!

Shirley, oh my! I just noticed your Avatar. I may have to take back my beauty comment! I see you turned in the voodoo doll for a cauldron!

goldie said...

Hello oh pretty Shirley!

Good morning Hooters!

LOL Lynn at your adventure. Are you sure that cabbage man doesn't work at my local Copp's grocery?

I'm pretty sure he waited on me last night! Pouring rain, one arm in a sling, navigating the full cart with my right arm and left hip. "Hurt your arm?"- no idiot, its a fashion accessory! "want drive up?" no, I prefer to push the cart in the torrential downpour and unload it one handed into my car. MORON.

Yes, I have a friend like you do Lynn, and often times our husbands do call us Lucy and Ethel. :)

Lynn D said...

Morning glories!

Shirley you got first! I am sure you will be the prettiest after you visit your hair dresser.

Thanks for the comments everyone. I really wish we had taken pictures of it all. Before and after. We are still laughing.

Some day after many drinks I will tell you all the story of the time we had to run a little errand to collect some contraband and while stopped at a red light watched the gas tank of the car in front of us catch fire!!

It is always something with us. Oh yeah and the time we used the circular saw to cut up a counter top in her house because she hated it.

Good times and bad we have hung in there. Something to be said for friends who after a moments hesitation says, lets go for it!

Mary LOL Angel and I have done that same damn thing!

goldie don't ya just love those helpful clerks?

Hey Whabby you are up early. I have been traumatized by brussell sprouts.

It is fun to have a friend that is as nutty as you are Bon.

goldie said...

OMG- OWLS ARE THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!

Came home for lunch to find balloons and flowers from my dear owl friends.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Will have Mr. Goldie take a pic later and will post.

Thanks again- you really made my day. :)

xxoo

bonachichi said...

Uh, thanks for the compliment LynnD? I have the BEST friends! I accidentally put my feet too close to the bonfire over the weekend, and they were nice enough to tell me my shoes were ablaze.

DeeDee said...

a rolling produce-mobile....lol...
oh the possibilities.....

You two "cut" a counter with a circular saw!!?? Who is Lucy and which is Ethel?

Nevermind....I don't know why I even asked that....I know the answer....you are the front of that horse aren't you Lynn...

Lani said...

I loved reading about your adventure, and isn't it great to have a partner. I guess when people are hired, and work with the public, employers don't care if they have people skills.

SLIN and I have gone on a couple of adventures of our own. Nothing illegal, however I don't want to say what on the blog.

Jodi said...

LYNN - Love the adventures of Lucy and Ethel!! You must have thigh muscles like no other to be able to manhandle a cabbage like that!! lol @ channeling Rain Man!!

GOLDIE - Glad you like them!! ENJOY ♥

SHIRLEY - Glad to see the "sunshine" back!!

Waving a wing @ BONACHICHI, WHABBY, MARY, DEE DEE, and SLANI!!

Sorry I've been MIA...been kinda a hectic week. Thanks for everyone's well wishes for Jake on FB!! He's starting to feel better. Just taking it one day at a time.

Zona said...

LYNN: Loved your adventure with Angel! My best friend and I have known each other for over 40 years. It's great to know someone so well that just a sideways glance will get you laughing so hard tears roll down your face. She and I have done some truly goofy things over the years and we laugh almost as hard reminiscing about them as we did when they actually happened!

SHIRLEY: Double double toil and
trouble..fire burn and cauldron bubble..looks like you were stirring up a little sunshine in that pot today..and what beautiful sunshine it is! :D

MARY: Mr Z and I were moving and decided to cram as much into his truck as we could because it was 2am and we were beat. The truck was piled up so high you couldn't see out the back window..and I had a lampshade over my head because there was nowhere else to put it! Not surprisingly..a cop followed us all the way to the new place! Talk about the Beverly Hillbillies!! :D

GOLDIE: Yay!! :)

LANI: LOL @ nothing illegal!! :D

BEAR: 110 this weekend..you made it home just in time!

JODI: All I could think of while reading the blog was 'inhaler!!' ;P

DEEDEE: One..singular sensation..love it!! :D

BONACHI: Yikes! You didn't burn your feet did you? Yeowch!

MO & CAROL: I hope you were able to get some rest last night and that today is a better day for you both! :)

Going to test the pool temp again..funny how I didn't care how cold it was when I was a kid..I guess my wobbly bits are just sensitive now..lol..

Have a great day everyone!

Mary/MI said...

Zona,You are sooooooooo lucky to have a pool! Take a couple cool dips for me!

DeeDee said...

lol....the evil twins...Dee and Dee...


I'm not bad....I'm just drawn that way.....

whabbear said...

Thanks, Mary! We're always sad when we have to come back from Palm Springs!

Zona: Although, 110 is unbearable unless you're in a pool in the shade. That's how we spent last Sunday afternoon, at a friend's place!

Bebbilane said...

LynnD: What a great blog! Such a funny story about the weird clerk and all. I would have loved to have seen a picture of the low rider! You should have snapped one ...haha. Yay for you guys, getting it all in one load..too fun!

Shirley: Oh MY! You are stunning today! so lovely!

Maureen said...

Good evening feathered friends!!

SHIRLEY...whatcha making in your cauldron? You look so lovely as you slave over the hot stove!!

LYNN...I loved, LOVED your adventure!! You and ANGEL are so lucky to have each other. Family is one thing, but a good friend is icing on the cake!

JODI...glad Jake is feeling better.

ZONA...the answer would be no!

Oh, I am such a dork (shuddup TINA and DEE DEE!!) I spoke with BIRDEE the other day and she asked me to tell you all she says hi, is thinking about you and she is having computer issues. She'll be back as soon as her computer shapes up!

Maureen said...

Work has been crazy this week. We were off on Monday and it is our end of the month. We have to fix what are called batch errors so visits that are stuck there can finally fall into the billing program, insurance auth requests come out of the ying yang and it is also a payroll week. It was going to be stressful enough then to top it off we lost our computers and phones until 2pm yesterday. Nicole and I had to stay until 7:30 to work on the batches as it was the last day. Today we had to finally start the insurance auths and get payroll processing started. I stayed until 6:30 tonight. I got pretty caught up, but tomorrow will be another bitch of a day. We did get our batch error results and our goal is to only have 800 remain and we had 763!! YAY for that. We were told we would have help today...did you see anyone help us? Or even hear the offer of help? Grrr.

Maureen said...

Then to top it off, I had to go to the nursing home tonight. I found out that 2 nights ago Joanne buzzed for someone to take her to the bathroom. The aide finally came and Joanne was a little shy of the toilet, as she waited so long she made a little mess on the floor. The fucking aide threw a towel on the floor and told Joanne to clean it up herself. And she did. I was furious. She could have fallen on her face, as she is non-weight-bearing on her right side and her balance is off kilter. And besides, it isn't her job to clean up the floor.

I tried calling the ombudsman today and of course she didn't call back, so I made a trip there tonight and wrote up a formal complaint. Joanne wasn't happy, as she is scared that the aide will be even meaner to her. The nurse and nurse supervisor assured her there will be no retribution for complaining.

I still can't even believe it happened and Joanne took that crap.

Sorry to rant and bore you all with my issues, but I want to explode.

bonachichi said...

Mo, you should mop up the next mess with the aide's hair.

Just_Lin said...

Shirley Congrats on #1! What are you whipping up in that cauldron? Bad news?

Bear I whine when it gets over 70. I wouldn't be able to handle 110 at all, even in the shade. I've been in mild, coastal weather for too long now.

Mary Hope your dental appointment was an easy one.

Goldie Sometimes I can't even control a shopping cart with two hands.

Slan, my partner in crime. : )

Jodi I'm glad to hear that Jake is doing better. Any diagnosis?

Zona LMAO @ you wearing the lamp shade!

Bebbi Waving at you!

MO What happened to Joanne is despicable! Thank goodness you are there to stand up for her.

Bonach Excellent suggestion regarding using the aide's hair!

DeeDee Waving at you,too!

LynnD What a fun blog to read! I love your adventures with Angel. You know, you could have carried a couple more cabbages by putting them in your bra. LOL

Just_Lin said...

25

Dianne/Denver said...

LYNN: Great blog...I have a friend just like your Angel. We have been friends for about 20+ years. We both lost our husbands that were long time friends of each other and both married again. We can tell each other anything and do just that. We laugh, we cry and we joke like crazy with each other. We were just saying at lunch this week that we don't want to be left in our old age without the other.

Your blog made me laugh and now that I know you and know what Angel looks like...I could just picture the two of you. You both really were "farming" today.

MARY: Did you call ZONA AND MR Z "a couple of dips"? That's not nice :)

MO: I would be really mad at that nursing home too. My mom used to be afraid if we complained like Joanne is and I can see how they feel but you do have to take charge sometimes. Makes me mad just hearing about it.

JODI: What happened to Jake? I haven't been on the computer much or anything else.

I have to get up early for PT in the AM so off to bed...night all.

sacBarb said...

Happy Thursday Owls.

Lynn, Your blog cracked me up. I can just picture all that happening. You really need to get a flip video and carry it with you all the time. It's really too bad you don't have pics of that car.

As a teen I had some deranged friends and we pulled some really crazy stunts, some of which could have been disastrous if not for our guardian angels, which I am sure we all had on our shoulders. As an adult, I do have a friend that I can always turn to and we do laugh a lot.

Mary, I think of Tina and DeeDee as Thelma and Louise.

J/L, LOL @ cabbages in Lynn's bra. We should have written a blog about our airport adventure to Chicago.

I have to go harvest some more rice for the FV co-op. I hope everyone had a good day.

sacBarb said...

Mo, that was a horrible thing for Joanne to have endured. I hope the nursing home cleans up (pun intended) their act.

Jodi said...

SLIN - No diagnosis. His dr is taking a "wait and see" approach.

DIANNE - Jake has been having severe abdominal pain and vomiting starting last Saturday. No fever, and his blood counts are good. I think they were originally watching him for a hot appendix. So I guess we "wait and see". He has been feeling better the last day and a half. Good luck in PT tomorrow.....muah ♥

MO - That is horrible. You were right to file a formal complaint. So sorry you're having a "crappy" week....it's almost the weekend lady!!

BONACHICHI - That would be the minimum I would do!!

BARB - You could still write that blog.....ijs!!

Jodi said...

We had a store meeting last night and I didn't get to sleep til way past 10pm. Seriously need a cawfee iv this morning!!

I'll be back later. Right after work I'm going to Jake's 4th Grade send-off. Can't believe my baby's done with elementary school!!!

Just_Lin said...

Sweet Dreams, HOoters!

I have a very juicy cold (or allergies, I don't know which anymore). I took some NYQuil so am hoping to gret some rest. See you all in the morning.