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Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Dear God, It's me, the dog

by Maureen
Dear God: Is it on purpose that Our
Names
are spelled the same, only in reverse?

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers,
but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to Heaven, can we sit
on your couch? Or will it be the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after
the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang,
the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE
named for a Dog? How often do you
see a cougar riding around? We love a nice car
ride! Would it be so hard to rename
the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off
in the forest and no human hears him,
is he still a bad Dog?

Dear God: We Dogs can understand human
verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,
horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs,
electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee
flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs,
less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven?
If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Here is a list of
just some of the things I must remember
to be a good Dog:
1. I will not eat the cat's food before he eats
it or after he throws it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish,
crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.  
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's
underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's
crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand
straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside,
and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living
room, and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy',
so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven,
May I have my testicles back?






16 comments:

Dianne/Denver said...

Mo: these are so cute. I love the one about the couches in Heaven. Actually, I love them all. How have you been? Hope you had a nice New Year last weekend. Miss your posts so glad to see your blog.

Btw, all please note that I'm very early. I woke at 5:30 and have not been back to sleep. Now this will be a fun long day!!!!! I'd better take some drugs.

WAKE UP EVERYONE-----IM LONELY!!!!!!!!

Lynn D said...

Morning Glories!

Dianne you look beautiful in first! Reading your post I see that you are a losing sleep beauty.

I would buy a Ford Labrador. :)

I am going to take it easy today and just putter around the house. Have a cold and woke up this morning with a very sore throat.

Michael if you are out there reading I had a dream about you last night and I am thinking about you. I hope your spirits are up and you are laughing daily because that IS the best medicine. (((Hugs)))

Zona said...

Awwww MO..that was great..so dang cute! Loved it! I didn't see one about needing to go out the minute someone calls though.. ;D

DI: I hope you were able to fall back asleep for a little while..you were up way too early!

LYNN: LOL! I would buy a Ford Labrador too! I hope you feel better fast! :)

From 51:

J/LIN: Randy said the leftovers were deeeelicious..but he has a bad cold and can't smell or taste anything..soooo... ;)

Better go feed my pup..she's staring at me..and once she starts staring it's only a matter of time before she starts to whine..and then boof at me..and no one's even called yet!! :D

Have a good day everyone!

Tinka said...

Good Morning Dianne - I was up early too. Jack left for Vancouver at five and my "fur babies" thought I should be up.


Good Morning Lynn - I hope you feel better soon. There should be a law saying one can only catch colds in the middle of winter. Then you can wrap yourself in a blanket, sit by the fire and read a good book. When the weather is warm you feel like you should be out enjoying the sunshine.

Good Morning Zona - I just fed my little ones too. Now it's my turn.

Maureen - I loved your blog. I can't pick my favourite. I think they are all adorable.

We went to the Vet yesterday and Tango didn't get a very good report. She has been diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure (CHF). Her heart was beating at 280 bpm. If that keeps up her heart will explode. She is now on another expensive med.
I am trying to take one day at a time and enjoying her while I have her. I can't imagine Tia without Tango and I know Tia can't either. I wish dogs lived as long as parrots.

I am also sending love and ((((Hugs)))) to Michael.

Have a great day everyone.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne. You are looking lovely at first. You sure are waking up early these days. I'm at the airport now. They had me check in at terminal 3 then told me I had to be shuttled over to terminal 1 where my gate is. So stupid.

Just_Lin said...

MO. Thanks for the cute blog. They don't have a car named after a dog but there is a large bus line named after one.

Just_Lin said...

LynneD. Well, crap. I'm sorry you have a cold. Did you get it from those little short people? Children are walking petri dishes.

Just_Lin said...

Zona. Sorry about Randy's cold. I hope you don't get it, too. Maybe chicken soup should be on the menu.

Just_Lin said...

Tinka. I'm so sorry about your news about Tango. Big (((HUGS))).

Just_Lin said...

Michael. Thinking of you. Hope you pop back in soon.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne. You are looking lovely at first. You sure are waking up early these days. I'm at the airport now. They had me check in at terminal 3 then told me I had to be shuttled over to terminal 1 where my gate is. So stupid.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne. You are looking lovely at first. You sure are waking up early these days. I'm at the airport now. They had me check in at terminal 3 then told me I had to be shuttled over to terminal 1 where my gate is. So stupid.

Maureen said...

JUST LIN...sorry you had to check in at 3 and shuttle to 1...three times!!! bwahahaha

LYNN...hope you feel better soon. BTW, your paintings are INCREDIBLE!

DIANNElookinggorgeousINDENVER...I hope your knee is feeling better. Yes, we had a delicious New Year! Very filling! Still having left overs for lunch. But I tell, there is such a thing as too much schmaltz!!

ZONA...smart aleck! Tell Mr. Zona I hope he feels better soon. I agree...chicken soup on the menu!

TINKA...I'm sorry about the diagnosis for Tango. {{hugs}}

Maureen said...

Thank you all for the comments on my blog submission. When I saw the puppy faces they were just too dang cute to keep to myself! And the captions made me LOL!
I'm glad you all enjoyed!!

bow wow wow

Just_Lin said...

MO. Gee, that's weird how that posted two more times after I had made other comments. This phone seems to have a mind of its own.

Just_Lin said...

I'm turning in a bit early for me. It's hot here and I'm not used to it. Sweet dreams, HOoters!