our daily blog
is from lovey
so very funny!
Here's Your Sign!
by lovey
I can't be alone in admitting that I have done some pretty stupid,crazy and embarrassing things in my adult life. Things that regardless how fast I run from the memory , every once in awhile "bang" it's like it just happened yesterday.
The other day I saw a picture of a trailer that a friend uploaded onto their page. That was the trigger my memory needed to relive one of my most embarrassing stunts from years gone by.
Every weekend hub and I use to spend with friends in Port Huron MI.
We'd enjoy shopping, good food, great music and lots of scotch.
We would camp in a "pop up hard top trailer".
You know the type I talking about. They have double beds on each side, the sink and fridge in the middle and a lil door with a couple of steps down to outside.
One evening I had a terrible cold and it required a bottle of scotch to suppress the hacking cough. ( That's my story and I'm sticking to it)
I wasn't feeling well outside at the fire pit, so I decided to go snuggle in a warm comfy bed until my head stopped spinning.
I had just got cozy when I realized I had to pee.
There was no way I was going to get dressed and walk to the washrooms. They were too far away and it was too cold outside.
As I sat there contemplating how I could relieve myself without staggering across the park, I noticed a bucket sitting by the door.
I got this brilliant idea, " pee in the bucket, empty tomorrow".
I climbed down from the bed, stood in front of the bucket and pulled down my long johns. I didn't want my bum on the bucket so I was straddling and began to pee.
All of a sudden I lost my footing and my bum hit the bucket, my back hit the door, the door flew open, and out I went with my long johns at my ankles, bare ass wide and white,and the bucket with pee in tow.
My luck it was a beautiful evening for a camp fire in the park. Everyone was out enjoying themselves and the entertainment was this "piss pot and me".
As they were laughing hysterically I grabbed my long johns and rose to my feet. I looked around expecting "Bill Engvall"to come from the woods, and say, "Here's Your Sign".
It will take me a month to put that memory away in the vault again, until the next trigger.
Come on, share, your "Here's Your Sign"experiences.
416 comments:
1 – 200 of 416 Newer› Newest»first??? sorry...it's an addiction lol
OMG Lovey...that is freakin hilarious
Good Morning Scirish - You beat me. Good for you. I love you anyway.
novelty - the quality of being new, original or unusual.
I wouldn't even be up except little Tia decided she felt sick. I think she was pretending. Now I had better read the blog.
Too funny Lovey...you should have told everyone they had to pay a cover-charge for the entertainment, then passed the bucket. lol
Loved your story!
Ronnie
LOVEY..oh my gosh, good luck getting THAT one back in the vault. I'll have to reflect and see if I even want to PEEK into my memory banks....Thanks for the visual.
SCIRISH: HOOT..on numba one!!
TINK: Tell Tia to go back to sleep.
RONNIE: LOL LOL...pass the bucket. Thanks for the early morning grin.
PS>> Tink I LOVE your owl!
HERE'S BREAKFAST FOR THE EARLY OWLS (OR ARE WE THE LATE OWLS?)
--Cream of wheat or Oatmeal topped with raisins and brown sugar
--Baked apples
--Thick cut multigrain bread, toasted
--Soft boiled or poached eggs
--Jams, Cream Cheese, Almond Butter, Honey, Butter, Fake Butter
--OJ, Apple Juice, Tomato Juice
--Grapefruit, Banana, Blue Berries, Strawberries or Pineapple
--Fruit/Protien smoothie for fly bys
--Strong French Coffee..cream, soy cream, sugar or substitutes
--Freshly steeped Earl Grey with double bergamot or Peppermint Tea
Dig in...
lovey
I laughed so much when I read your blog, I guess sneaking around to pee came back to bite you in the behind! Literally! ;o)
ronniegirl
Oh my, so witty, "pass the bucket"
tinka
Congrats on wotd!
And your myspace page is wonderful, Amicus is a great gal!
scirish
Congrats on first!
nowmercy
Thanks for breakfast, glad you brought grapefruit maureen taught you well!
:O)
Good morning to all the little Owls!
Many years ago and fresh out of school, I was seeking employment in downtown Houston at a company in a huge high-rise building. The building was so large that the front entrance was on Main street and the back exit was on the street behind.
In I went with my little Jackie Kennedy suit, pillbox hat and gloves. (I told you it was a LONG time ago). I asked at the entrance where the "Employment Office" was and directed to the other side of the huge room filled with people sitting at desks. I began walking down the main isle thinking that I looked so grown-up and just too cute for words and I just KNEW everyone was thinking the same thing as they watched me. lol With all eyes on me, I reached the other side walking prissy as hell and approached the steps leading down to the employment office and proceeded to trip head over heels to the bottom. There I landed with my little hat about five feet from me and an empty purse flung against the far wall leaving it's contents sprinkled around me on the floor. Real professional huh?
Several people came running down and started helping me and I chunked everything back into my purse and crammed that tacky hat back on my head. One of the gentlemen said the employment office was right there to my right, where my purse had landed. I was up on my feet by now, thanked them and walked head-on into the glass door of the employment office. With that, I turned to my left and walked out of the building and started crying as I reached the curb and cried on the bus all the way home.
Long-winded Ronnie wishes you a great day...
Wavein' a good morning to you Carol, hope you're feeling better!
And a good morning to Tinkatia, nowmercy, and scirish.
Ronnie
Nowmercy - Not much chance - Try and tell a year old puppy that she must go back to sleep once the lights are on the morning and she laughs at you. We usually sleep until 7 or 7:30 but it was 6:00 and the household is awake and eating breakfast. How kind of you to provide oatmeal with raisins and brown sugar. I usually have shredded wheat (warmed with hot water) with raisins and brown sugar but this is a nice change. I will have fruit too please.
I am glad you like my owl. It is the youngest in the forest, sort of like me.
Lovey - Funny story. I will have to think hard to come up with one even close. I will be back. I have to go to the doctor today for more test results and a consultation.
Nowmercy~~
Thank you for breakfast...lovin it!
Ronnie
OMG - LOVEY and RONNIE, Laughed my ass off at (with?) both of you.
I really try to keep those kind of memories in the vault, but I will try to come up with one to share..Shouldn't be hard, I have lots of those moments...
Congrats on 1st scirish and good morning Tink and scirish, ronnie, nowmercy, and Carol!
Ronniegirl - Good Morning. Thanks for the compliment on my page. I love it too. Amicus is so clever. I told her after the St. Patrick's Day page I would start doing my own layouts. Not in a million years will I be able to match hers. She designed the GW one herself. I will be lucky if I can get my pink page pasted back in. I must be more optimistic. If I can make imovies and IDVD's I should be able to learn how to do layouts but I am apprehensive. Maybe I will blow out the whole system.
Ronnie..that story could be in a sitcom...but how awful for you! LOL...pass the bucket
Nowmercy..thanks for breakfast
Tink...hope you get good news today
Night.owls.sb - Good Morning. I left your name off my previous post. It should be after my "good morning" to Ronniegirl. You were the one who complimented my page and Amicus' work. I was going to delete the post when I saw I left off your name but then everyone would be wondering what I deleted. Just scroll back and you will see the message meant for you. (Does that make sense? It is still rather early for this tired old brain.)
Poor Lovey! Poor Ronniegirl (hello)!
Good morning, scirish, tinkatia, Carol, Goldie, and Ronnie!
Well, I think my stupidest move was several years ago in the cafeteria at work. I had finished eating, and took the tray up to the area with garbage pails and conveyor belt. There was an employee there who had the garbage pails pulled out of their normal locations, underneath holes in a counter. Even though that was PATENTLY obvious, I still went through the normal routine of dumping the plastic utensils and plastic plate through the hole in the counter, whereupon the garbage just passed through the hole and onto the floor.
The cafeteria employee was watching me do this in complete disbelief. When it was over, he just screamed at me :"THERE'S NOTHING UNDER THERE!!!"
I couldn't believe what I'd just done, and still can't believe it today!
RONNIE: I'm glad you can laugh now..oh my heart just aches for that young you though.. wow.
TINK: Puppies..they ARE in charge! Good luck today
CAROL: Are you feeling better?
GOLDIE: Big wave HI to you!
The first thing that comes to me is the time I went on and on complimenting a client about her husband's letter's to the editor. She seemed confused but courteous. I later realized I had her husband (a STAUNCH republican) mixed up with a similarly named letter writer..a VERY liberal democrat..woopseeez. That was kinda a bummer.
OK, heading to the kitchen table to eat NowMercy's breakfast. I promise to clean up after myself.
Goldie~~ It's okay to laugh AT me and not with me, hell everybody on the first floor was laughing AT me.
BTW nowmercy, my favorite is Earl Grey tea...thanks again.
Tink, It wasn't me telling you how pretty your page is, I have heard how Amicus does beautiful work though.
Scirish~~Well the lead character better be "cute as hell". lol
Ronnie
LOL Whabby..I had a meditation teacher who used to have us move our garbage cans around..and watch the habitual mind, and how not in the moment it could be...kind of like driving somewhere and not remembering the drive (sober mind you).
LOL trash man!!
PS.. So WHABBY, I have thrown plenty of trash on my own floors..jeez.
RONNIE: I just love Earl Grey too...So does BonO
OMG Wabby...too funny. A
little red faced were you?
Stuff like that in public just gets me so. It's probably karma getting me in the butt.
Ronnie
NowMercy: Yep, habit capture can be a bitch! LOL!
I have so many, but the one that really sticks in my mind(for the last 20 years) involved just me and one other. No big audience.
We were staying at my husband's sister and brother in laws house for the weekend. I had gone down stairs and had coffee and chatted away with SIL. Hubby was still sleeping. I go upstairs and the shower is running. So, I sneak into the bathroom, put my hand around the shower curtain and grab my husbands butt. Now mind you, he doesnt say a word- I dont say a word and I walk out of the bathroom into the bedroom and there is my husband sound asleep!!
Thank god my BIL was turned facing the opposite direction in the shower, or I would have grabbed more than butt!!
LOL! Goldie, I take it from your description that you didn't recognize your mistake from touch alone?
Hmmm... do you think that would still have been the case if your BIL had been turned around?
Goldie, Goldie, Goldie~~~
Sooooo, how was it? Nothin' like showing a little family affection in the morning.
So funny!
I have things to do today but I just know this nest is going to be filled with so much laughter today. Thanks again Lovey for your offering and getting us started.
Ronnie
Now that I would have known Bear!!
And 20 years ago my BIL was pretty buff like my husband. BIL -not such much now., but husband still is....:)
Ronniegirl - I knew it wasn't you sweetie. I left off night.owls.sb's name from the comment to her. I realized what I had done and I almost deleted the comment and started again. Then I thought people would wonder what was deleted so I posted a second comment explaining my mistake. I guess it didn't work however because you didn't see the second comment. I wonder if Carol did.
Whabbear - I loved your story. I bet your face was scarlet when the man yelled at you.
Tink~~
I'm a little dense this morning. I do remember when you were starting your myspace page last summer and Amicus helped you though.
I've missed you and hope you have good results at the doctors office today.
Love ya,
Ronnie
Ronnie and Tink: Well, it was hard to tell. I wear so much rouge to work, you see.
LOL!
Wabby~~lol lol
Join the crowd. AND the older you get, the more you'll wear.
Work It Baby, Work It!
Ronnie
Ronniegirl - You are not dense. I remember back then too. I wanted a myspace so badly. I couldn't follow the instructions so finally Amicus just did the whole thing for me. I am determined now to learn. It is very time consuming for Amicus. I am retired and she is working hard at her business. She is so kind, she says she doesn't mind but I am going to try.
Did you go by the name Ronnie on the Ross blog? If you did we had a lot of good talks back then.
Whabbear - You always have such naturally rosy cheeks. I could just pinch them.
Tink~~
I was, Ronnie/girl with a funny name. When I went to The Hill, (big mistake) I shortened it, because it was too long to type.
I wanted people to know I was a girl, so i changed it to RonnieGirl. (and I use that term Girl with a big ole grin on my face.
We did have many lovely talks back then. Such fun. It's so nice to see you again.
Ronnie
Ronniegirl - Thanks for letting me know we are old friends, old friends who are very young right? You keep that name Girl. You are only as old as you feel. I have been up 3 hours and I feel like a nap.
Sweet dreams, Tink.
Ronniegirl - You know you can delete the second post by clicking on the trash can or did you already do that?
The above two deletes are from me.
Thanks Tink. Maybe I should have let Wabby dump them, since he's so good at using trash cans.
Ronnie
Here's one of my more stupid moves
I had just learned to drive and had landed an interview with a major bank downtown. I got down there alright and parked in the bank’s parking lot. The interview went great and I even got to meet the department head of the position I was interviewing for, so I was pretty pumped when I got to my car. While I was in the bank a big ole Caddy with towing mirrors had parked rather close to me, so I decided rather than backing up I would go through the empty space in front of me. As I moved forward my mirrors got hooked in the Caddy’s towing mirrors. I backed up a little to unhook them and…nothing. So I went forward a little, still nothing. So finally I got out unhooked the mirrors by hand and got back in. As I was pulling into the parking place in front of me I felt a big KA-THUMP. So I get out again to look and my car was straddling one of those concrete curbs. A BIG concrete curb that I hadn’t seen when I parked. I tried to back up and the car wouldn’t go anywhere, sooooo.. I gunned it, made it over the curb and careened into a big mound of snow. I got out and looked under the car to see if anything was leaking. Everything seemed to be ok, so I surreptitiously looked around to see if anyone had witnessed this debacle. Standing on the sidewalk were the personnel manager and the department head, laughing their asses off. I did not get the job
P.S. I drive much better now:)
Good Morning Feathered Friends!!
SCIRISH - Congrats on first!!
NOWMERCY- You are spoiling me!! Yet another great breakfast!
Hi TINKA, RONNIE, GOLDIE, CAROL and WHABBY!
LOVEY - OMG! That was so damn funny! I am laughing whats left of my ass off aftere your fun last night (or this morning!) You will never get that back into your memory vault...just look at your comments!! bwhahahahaha!!
RONNIE - Oh dear...sorry but I was laughing at your story! I can picture the pill box hat flying across the room! Well written and too funny!
GOLDIE - so that's your story and your stickin to it, huh?!! Too funny
I will have to think about the nutty things I have done...will be hard since I am sooo perfect ;)
Scirish~~ Love it! lol lol
Maybe next time we need to go on job interviews together as Abbott and Costello.
Ronnie
Can one type about embarrassing moments that happened during sex?
Mornin' Moweenie!!
I'm having so much fun dancin' around here this morning. Thanks again for leading me here.
Luv ya, Girlfriend!
Ronnie
iteach...yes one can...anxiously awaiting THAT post!
Ronnie-at least we would stand out in those prospective employers minds!!
Good morning!
Loved your story this morning Lovey!!
Congrat to Scirish again for being number uno!
OK this is going back a long way! One of my earliest jobs was working for a major insurance company.
Once in a while, some of us would go in really early to catch up with our work.
One day, my friend Marilyn and I met about 7:00am. We went to the cafeteria to get coffee, and noticed the menu board (this is back when the menus were posted on a easle-type thing, the board covered in felt, and plastic letters to spell out words.
Welllll.... Marilyn and I got this evil idea to change the menu for the day and come up with some creative dishes. It was early, and we thought no one would be around.
So, the menu for the day included cheesy worms, puppy stool pie, chocolate tacos, the soup of the day was a bowl of grease.
You get the idea.
Well, Marilyn and I stood after we were done and admired our work. I don't think I had ever laughed so hard.
What we hadn't noticed was that through a glass doorway, right off the cafeteria, there was a meeting going on, and we were being watched the whole time by a bunch of stiffs in their suits and ties.
We casually picked up our coffee and headed upstairs, sure we would be called on our little prank and no doubt be fired.
Neither of us were ever talked to or heard a thing about what we had done. We did hear about the crazy menu and lots of people got a big laugh out of what we'd done.
I think we both learned a big lesson that day, look around to make sure no one is watching!
Have a great day!
scirish~
Sounds like a date...just as long as I drive and you take in the resumes.
Ronnie
Iteach, just read your question.
I have a few. There are probably more.
One time, with someone kind of new, I called him the wrong name.
Another time, I had worked a double shit (4pm to 8am) and my husband at the time was frisky when I got home.
I fell asleep while he was on top of me. Out cold from being so tired.
Another time during a position right under 70, my boyfriend farted. That ruined it.
Sorry if this offended anyone.
OOPS should have been double SHIFT, not shit. LMAO.
Okay this is the memory that comes to mind. I had gone to Houston dancing with 3 of my friends. We were on our way home to College Station which was over an hour drive. We had been drinking of course and that long bumpy road just made me keep thinking oh how I wish we were home because I had to go so bad. Well then the front tire blew. We all get out and the guys say they have to change the tire. I'm like you've got to be kidding me. I have to pee. I am way past the politeness of I need to tinkle. I must pee. My girlfriend borrows the flash light and we treck off in the darkness to a field where I can go in privacy.I squat down and as I am finishing up I feel horrible stings and start screaming in pain.I run back to the car with girlfriend and flashlight in tow. My bare legs and butt are covered in fire ants. I think the 2 guys had way too much fun helping to knock off all of the fire ants. My girlfriend decides that this is a Kodak moment and she grabs the camera from the car. I still have those pictures some were. I'm sure they all have copies. One photo has me still holding kleenex in my hand. Another photo has both guys bent over in half laughing hysterically. They were laughing way too long and way too hard to the point that their rib cages hurt.
Ok, one more. Same BIL- and no nothing is going on between the two of us!!
Once again at their house. But a different house. Ranch style and bedrooms at one end, and there is a 1/2 bath on far other end by laundry room.
Couldn't sleep, so got up and went into family room to lay on the couch. About 15 minutes later my BIL walks NAKED thru the room on the way to the 1/2 bath. I say nothing. On his way back thru the room I bust out laughing. He jumped a mile and swore and tore off down the hall.
The reason he didn't use the bathrooms by the bedrooms is he didn't want to disturb anyone.
That is my story and I AM sticking to it. By the way- we are going to be spending the weekend at same BIL's house this weekend! I'll let you know if anything exciting happens...
Note to self~~~~
Don't ever let east-bay-j ever serve lunch at the owl nest.
Too funny, ebj.
Ronnie
LOL LOL Goldie,
At least you got to see the whole package that time.
Ronnie
East Bay J
I would call it a double shit instead of double shift on purpose. I worked some frickin long hours when I was catering.
I'm going to dig in to Nowmercy's breakfast. Thanks Nowmercy! You're the best!
Good morning everyone! I must have coffee! I need my caffeine fix.
east Bay J- I think we opened a can of worms.
People will be shaking their heads at us all day.
Yours made me laugh!
Iteach you better post yours or mine are gonna get deleted real quick! haha!
Hellooooo OWLS!!
SC~~ Congrats on 1st!
LOL @ parking lot, at least u didn't ram into them and the window.
Ronnie~LMAO @ pass the bucket,& it's good thing your lil skirt didn't end up around your neck.hehe.
NowMercy~LOL,I wonder if your client spent the day thinking, what u knew about her hub that she didn't.
Goldie~LMAOOOOO "Here's Yer Sign".said in my best redneck Bill Engvall voice.
EBJ~~LMAO toots do have a way of stinking up the moment.
ITEACH~~ Come on SPILL.LOL.
Those are the best "here's your card stories".
MO~~ROFL.Omg I had a blast last night... now u can see why I was PMSL.
Where is that bird?? Hope she didn't get swept in the flood.
Dreama that had to hurt.
I love to laugh!!!
There is no better ( other than hot steamy sex) to start a day then to laugh!
Carol, LOL, Thanks g/f.
I should have a storage unit filled with signs by now.
Whabby, LOL,Here's Your Sign"goes to the employee watching you.
I'll be checking back in to read everyones comments but for now I am going to go fill up my tank with gas. Due to that refinery blowing up oil prices took a big jump so we're going back to gas at over $3 a gallon. Ugh.
Everyones posts are making me laugh so hard.
Good Morning Owls!
Lovey: Thanks for sharing that funny story! I have a goose story I want to share so I'll be back later today to post it. :)
Tinka: You're welcome! Thanks for the sweet comments!
Ronnie and Cpgem: Thanks to both of you too for the kind words!
Waving Hi to everyone!
From yesterday's blog...
Cpgem,
Guilt is something I struggle with too. My recent layout change is a perfect example. I wasn't planning on changing layouts before St. Patty's, but I wanted the song "Listen" on my page, and it didn't go well with my Valentine's layout. Spur of the moment, I decided to do a quick change using a pre-made layout.
Then, guilt reared its ugly head, because I hadn't changed Tinka's too. I didn't want to hurt her feelings so I started searching for a pre-made Ghost Whisperer layout, but I couldn't find any. So my "quick change" idea turned into a layout making sesson.
Now, I've hurt another friend of mine's feelings, because I didn't change her page too. She's read my comments and knows I changed Tinka's page. So I'm going to spend my evening making her a Bon Jovi page to ease my guilt.
Guilt is a vicious cycle!
Sometimes I worry about out poor Bear. So smart yet so ...um....well, you know.
I did this a few days ago..
I'm talking to my bff and during the discussion I look around and can't find my cell phone. SO, I go out while talking to her and look in my car..not there either. SO, I search my clothes, the woodpile in case it fell out of my coat there etc. I finally tell my darling bff my dilema..she laughs hysterically and says to hang up she will call the number.
You guessed it? I was TALIKING on the cell phone.
Coffee and ativan please...
LMAO@Nowmercy~1 ringadingy
Nowmercy re: lil green men~~ I love the lil green party men (leprechauns) but the ones that eat ppl alive, I run from!!
Ronnie...Ummm...I don't know if that would be the best arrangement b/c umm...see...I once fell in a huge potted plant in the lobby of the Marriot Hotel. And I do mean fell IN...my heel broke you see...and..oh well you get the drift
LOVEY - Why didn't you change your avatar to the specisl pic you made last night!! Ohhh, and send Carol the other one, so she can change the fowl owls! bwahahaha
One of my embarassing moments:
I was talking to the accountant at work. People were staring at my chest more then usual. I was wondering what was going on. I went back to my desk and I felt something weird...I looked down and an underwire had popped out of my bra and was sticking up out the top of my blouse! I turned every shade of red. And I swore that I don't care how low they sag, I am never wearing an underwire bra again!
GOLDIE - stay far away from your BIL!!
LOVEY - Great blog!!!
SCIRISH - Congrats on first!!!
TINKA - Excellent work on WOTD!!! Once a teacher, always a teacher :D
Here's my own little "here's your sign". It happened about 20 years ago. Mom & Dad would oftentimes fall asleep watching tv in the living room, and I would also fall asleep watching tv in my bedroom (I guess it's a long standing family tradition!!!). Anyhoo, one night my hubby came over (when we were engaged) and after my Dad had fallen asleep. When Dad woke up to go to bed, he headed to my bedroom because he heard the tv and was going to turn it off, well........all I can say is that it is a good thing that Mr. Jodi had a sheet covering his ass!!! Yup, you guessed it.....my Dad walked in on us dancing in the sheets!!! Well, we can laugh about it now, but at the time we were all horrified!!! Especially my poor Dad!!
HERE'S YOUR SIGN!!! :p
GOLDIE - Be careful this weekend - don't need anymore "here's your sign" moments with the BIL!!! lol!! Only you Goldie!!
Dreama...ooowwwww!
Goldie...careful...your BIL may try and get you back ('member the ongoing naked spottings on Friends?)
Eastbay..you fell asleep??? maybe thats why he's an ex?
Nowmercy...I'm sure your BFF will remind you of that one for a while!
So many hysterical stories! Who says owls are wise?? Ah, but we DO have fun, don't we?!
Years ago....
Palm Springs, weeklong tryst with then love-of-my-life from SanFran.
Long HOT day spent lazing by the pool drinking pina coladas and not eating.
Late night dinner reservation at Pal Joey's restaurant/club.
Scotch at the bar while waiting for fancy table.
Elegant dinner ordered. Waiter arrives to blend huge Caesar salad at the table.
Aroma of anchovies....feelin' a bit weak...need to visit ladies' room.
Waiting line...too warm...feeling dizzy.
WOW...how long have I been lying here on the tile floor outside the ladies' room? Who's purse is under my head for a pillow? Why are all these people standing over me?
"No, I'm fine, really....just need to step outside for a minute".
*sitting on plastic milk crate in fancy valet parking lot, hurling pina coladas and scotch*
No fine dining for us tonight. Gracious and gallant love drives us back to the hotel in our rented convertible....me with head hanging out the door like a basset hound...more drive-by hurling...arrive safely.
Hysterical laughter after a shower-with-a-friend and a tummy-settling grilled cheese from room service. All's well that ends well.
Swoosh.....landing for a 'wee' bit....get it? Hahaha!
I am LOL at all these stories...too funny:
Lovey
Ronnie
Nowmercy
Whabbear
Scirish
Godie
East Bay J
DreamaTexas
Mo
Congrats on first Scirish, what's wrong? Is Joey sick? Ha!
I think I will stick with the 'pee' theme .
Many ( and I mean MANY) years ago my friend and I were at a bonfire party in a huge pasture. There was a keg there and a ton of people singing, dancing, drinking, etc. We both had to go pee. Well, the guys had been scaring some of the girls that had snuck off to pee, so Jeanie and I decided we would go WAAAAYYYY out where we would be safe and noone could see us. Once we thought we were far enough away she went to the left and I went to the right. So, I drop and squat......then I hear, "MOO!" I screamed and fell forward because it scared me so, and shot the moon to the moon! Jeanie came running....then burst out laughing..."You pee'd on a cow!" she screamed. Do you think she could keep quiet about it, as we went back to the par-tay....Hell no! She blabbed, they laughed and that is why I know longer live in Ill. LOL!
Great Day Owls! I gotta finish schoolwork with my son!
Mo LOL ok I will send it to Carol.
Jodi ROFL omg,"Here's Yer Sign".
SC LMAO
Ronnie LMAO when I put my memory back in the vault, it will be with an added touch.. DAMNIT! Why didn't I pass the bucket.
Jodi &
Bon Oregon.......LMAO!!!!!
oops (I was an English major, so have to fix this)..."whose purse", not "who's" Sorry, teacher Tinka and spell-cop Joey :o)
p.s. Whab...busy sky day, huh?
Shuttle landing, lunar eclypse, rings of Saturn visible, maybe blowing up the 'space monster'.
Any MEK sightings yet?
LOL at Loveys pic! I had sooo much fun last night! Thank you!
Hey guys,
I got a message from LYNN D.
She is having computer issues and has to use her hubby's. She couldn't get into the nest. I sent her the link again.
She said to tell you all HELLO!
Bon LOL, ekkk coconut & scotch in the same tummy..bad Bon..hehe
JAX~~ROFLMAO omg I spit coffee all over myself.I must do some art work to go with that story."Here's Yer Sign".
JAX - Only here in the midwest would that happen!!! roflmao!!!
BON - LOL @ hanging your head out like a bassett hound. Oh, I can so relate!!!
LOVEY - This topic rocks - I so needed to laugh today. THANK YOU!!!
LOVEY - Let me know if you got my message!!! I hope I got the numbers right!!!
LOVEY - OMG!! ROFLMFAO! You are too funny. I may pee my pants yet today!!
JAX - You pee'd on a cow! At least you didn't have a moo-vement on him!!
BON'O - I will never be able to think about Palm Springs the same way again!
You guys are cracking me up today!
lovey...your owl didn't shut the bathroom door
It was so wild that both our legs went through the window. It wasn't glass, it was plexiglass (spelling). It was that kind of frosted glass that is hard to see through. Anyway, we had to hurry up and replace it, because he were house sitting.
I kind of forgot about that memory and I can't even remember that guys name.
No serious injury, nothing that whole bunch of band-aids couldn't fix.
If you all notice, Lovey has her office set up, but NO toilet paper!! DON'T SHAKE HER WING when you meet her!!!
I love all your guys pee stories.
and I DO know how to spell eclipse, Joey!
Obviously, there was a pre-screening of the pee stories late last night. That explains a lot of MySpace status head-scratching :D~
I'm starting tax-prep and on Tiger/MEK watch instead of focusing on the keyboard. I'll try harder to focus!
SAVE A TREE- DRIP DRY!
Bono ROTFLMAO "head hanging out the door like a basset hound"
Jax~ditto~"You pee'd on a cow!"
This topic is a blast!!!
Recess is almost over, I need to get to 100.
96
97
98
99
100
100
JOdi, you goof!!!
yyeeeeesssss!!!!! (In my best TINA voice!!!)
Recess is over. ;(
ITEACH - Now you know how I feel when TINA does that to me!!! Luv U.....mean it!! :D
I love you too! You goof!
LOL at Iteach...having to replace plexi-glass and NOT remembering the guy's name!
I really have to go....you are all sooo funny!
Yes, Jodi...the midwest. If you weren't bowling, you were partying in the fields!
Really, really, really, leaving til I'm done!
Jigglin ~~ Good thing it was #1, or you'd give new meaning to the term "cow-pie" ........Here's yer sign!
Goose Story
Several years ago when I worked in the corporate world, there was a pair of geese who returned every year to build a nest and lay eggs in a flower pot near the front door of our building. Mama and Papa Goose caused a lot of problems, because they attacked people who were trying to enter or leave the building.
One year, building maintenance finally covered the flower pots so the geese couldn't build their nest there. Instead, they built it up on a hill, under a tree, in front of our building. When I was leaving work one day, we'd had a bad storm, and I noticed one of the eggs had rolled out of the nest. Mama and Papa Goose were no where around so I decided to use a stick to roll the egg back in the nest.
All of a sudden, it felt like I had been hit in the back with a baseball bat. Mama Goose had been watching her nest from the top of the building, and she swooped down at full speed to attack me. I had on a coat and a sweater, but she still managed to grab hold of the skin between my back and underarm. It hurt like heck, and she left a nasty bruise.
I took off running for my life in a dress and heels while she hovered above my head, hissing at me and hitting me with her wings. The building was solid glass so a couple of my co-workers saw it happen. The next day at work, I was the butt of many jokes! I haven't tried to rescue another goose egg since then. LOL!
AMICUS - That gives a whole new meaning to getting "goosed"!!
ITEACH - You're a girl after my own heart!!! Not remembering his name?!!? Let's see......oh, yeah.....been there done that!!! LOL!!
BonBon, that is what was so funny.....Carol and I were the only ones that knew about my blog.Last night pee was all about ChickenOwl.ROFL
Too many funny stories today...
Amicus got goosed!
I'm trippin over ronniegirls lil ditty.
Goldie: BIL seems to be everywhere you are.
Whabbear: Your not supposed to know about holes!!!!
Lovey: Great Blog, full moon and a bucket....LMAO
EBJ: If I ever come to dinner at your house I wanna see you make it!
Weenie: You know I would have tugged on that wire for you.
Jodi: You we're a Ho then too? Jeez girl....
Bon'O: Hurlin like a basset hound....I'll never look at one of those pooches the same again..
I just can't come up with even an R-rated story to tell....Gotta think on this one for a while.
JAX omfg!!! I'm laughin so hard I can't paint that pic.I'll have to come back to it...ROFLMAO... tonight sametime, same place.
TURTLE - I may be a Ho.....but I'm not cheap!!! LOL!! I've been with Mr. Jodi for 21 years!!!
LOVEY: OMG!! That was an hysterical visual! I could just about see and hear the whole thing happening! Thank you for my first big laugh of the day!!
I do so many of these kind of things that it's difficult to pick just one. The time that most stands out in my mind was when I was living in California and flying over to AZ to visit my mom. Mr. Z couldn't get the week off, so he was going to join me a week later. He and his brother took me to Ontario Airport, which at that time was very small and had outdoor boarding. I was all safe and sound in my seat, looking for my book in my purse. There tucked in nicely next to the book, was my hubby's security badge for work. I jumped up and asked the steward if I could just run it back to my hubby at the gate. He said sure, but hurry. Oh, he shouldn't have told me to hurry. I ran down the aisle and then down the steps to the tarmac. The last step, however was about a foot and a half off the ground. I planted my foot in mid-air and fell sprawling on my face on the ground. I must have knocked myself out, because the next thing I saw were airline workers running to help me up. I looked over to Mr. Z and he and his brother were looking in a whole other direction!!! Never even saw me! I have been afraid eversince that I was gonna see myself on someone's video camera footage on TV.
Congrats SCIRISH on first! I'm off to read the posts now.
ROFLMFAO!!!
Mo-- MOooo vement.
ITEACH- hey u, whatsyername
was he hung well?!?
TURTLE! Too funny great sum up.
I can't keep up,
what a way to go, die laughin!!
LOL Amiscus, the movie "The Birds"come to mind, could have been worse, it coulda been bird shit.
ZONA - I think I saw that clip last week on YOUTUBE!!! lol!!
Oh my, I am laughing so hard at all the stories, and it is doing NOTHING to help my poor, rotten cough!!! You litle owlettes have no compassion!
I too have a similar story to Lovey's.
Mind you I am NOT A CAMPER! My idea of camping is staying in a hotel that DOES NOT HAVE ROOM SERVICE! If you must leave the hotel to eat, you are camping.
Anyway, this was a very long time ago, when I was pregnant with my second daughter Amanda, who is now 30 yrs old!
For some reason, my dearly departed husband, whom I loved very much, decided it would be fun to camp out with a bunch of friends up in Northern California Redwoods. Very pretty, but not very many "rest-rooms", and no showers either. Really roughing it. Only a couple of out-houses way far away from the campsite.
And we didn't have the luxury of a "pop-up" tent trailer either. Just an old tent rented from from Army Surplus, and some sleeping bags. Not even a blow up mattress! (And I stil loved this man, why? oh why?) Anyway, being newly pregnant, you all know you must pee almost every 15 minutes.
So, a friend suggested to use an empty 5 pound coffee can. Sounded better than trekking through the woods every 15 minutes.
Well, all of our tents were in a circle, and every time I went pee it sounded like the roar of a waterfall!!! I woke everyone up each time I peed! The next morning everyone was laughing and teasing me about it. ( I wasn't laughing, and my husband didn't have a very good day either, if you catch my drift!) The only good thing, was that it didn't spill!!! That was the First and Last time I ever went camping!!!
From yesterday's Blog, congrats to your husband Jodi on his first year Sober Birthday!!!It's a big step to take, and I can imagine how happy and proud you are.
Hope everyone has a great day. I am off now to take a short nap, and hope that I wake up feeling better. At least we have some sun today, before the next rain storm!
Love and peace, Donna
I feel safe enough in the nest to spill this one, but I better do it fast before I lose the nerve. It was a nice warm Sunday afternoon in California. Hubby and I were doing chores and a nice breeze was blowing. Well, one thing led to another...and another and we kinda got frisky. An hour or so later, after a very enthusiastic romp..I walked out of the bedroom and realized ALL of the windows were open!! And there were people sitting on the grass in front of our apartment!! I didn't think I would ever be able to go outside again! I learned to watch not only what I said, but how loudly, after that!
Back to reading..slightly blushing..
Jodi: My friend I would never insinuate that you are or we're ever cheap...... a HO yes, but cheap never!!!!
Jax- What part of Illinois were you from?
I have sent you a comment Zona and Bon...heh, heh.
Iteach-
I am from a little town outside of Peoria, or Peori-yuck, as I fondly refer to it.
Lovey-
Be nice to me!!! I saw how you slammed dirty Birdee....(and I loved it!;-)
Amicus
sorry I wasn't there otherwise i would have told you not to mess with geese or their eggs. I've had my run ins with geese also.
Jigglin
you peeing on the cow tops me peeing on a fire ant mound. At least it wasn't a bull.
LynnD
hugs.
Zonababy
for what ever reason I knew your story was going to involve a fall. Don't ask me why. Sorry about giggling over that.
Wabbear
hmmm, a PHD and you still put your trash where there is no can. Gotta love those Wabby stories.
I live two hours from Perioa and my sister lives in Eureka.
Eureka!!!! I lived in Eureka for a bit when I worked at Conklin's Dinner Theatre! Then I moved to Conger ville, to be closer to the theatre. I was raised in Washington, which as you probably know is right next to Eureka!
Zona-
Double dang....I misspelled neighbors....crap!
iteach:
Was born in Oak Park, and lived until I was 30 just west of Ohare airport.....
I don't miss the cold, but I do miss the snow, and occasionally my family...lol
I dunno Dreama....at least the cow didn't bite me! Fire ants....I hate those nasty things!
JODI: Good Lord, which clip did you see???
My dad caught Mr. Z and I once too, he was so cool about it--he said "Dinner in 10" and just closed the door!
GOLDIE: ROFLMAO!! You're making me reach for my inhaler!!! *gasp*
RONNIE: Oh..I feel bad for you even now!
SCIRISH: I loved the "p.s."
ITEACH: I wish I would have read before I typed, I wouldn't have been embarrassed to write it.
JAX: HOLY COW!!! ;)
I really think I am going to need a refill on this asthma inhaler before the day is through..just too much fun!
I just finished catching up on comments, and I'm loving all of the funny stories! Thanks to everyone for the laughs! :)
Tinka: You don't give yourself enough credit for how quickly you do learn. Give yourself a big pat on the back, because you deserve it! I have no doubt you're going to love being able to pick your own layouts and add them. :)
Mo and K-Girl: LOL! You both had the same clever thought. Can't say it was the most enjoyable 'goose' I've ever had. ;)
Lovey: Thank goodness she didn't do that too. LOL!
Dreama: It was one of those lessons learned the hard way. ;)
I don't see lunch as being served so let me do the honors:
......
swedish meatballs
oriental rock cornish hens
grilled mahi mahi (Lent)
almond crunch wax beans
mushroom stuffed eggplant
sour cream mashed potatoes
tahitian fruit cup
chicken noodle soup (for my sick owls)
lemon shaum torte
tea(Tinkatia)
diet & reg. coke
ginger ale
Ozarka spring water
ZONA OMG That pic is U?? Pearson Airport has that "Here's Yer Sign" posted in their safety manual
jax, check your comments!!! the fun begins!
DREAMA - dang, girl! You can sure cook! What a feast. WOWZA!
Thanks a billion
Oh hell no, you didn't Mo!!!!
Where is ChickenOwl ?!?
I posted last night pics in my album.
JAX: ROFLMAO!!! Too bad there's not SOUND! ;)
LOVEY: You mean they put my face plant in a safety manual?? LOL! I had a bright red shirt on too so EVERYONE would be sure to see me!!
LMAO ....Bon & Mo!!!!
What are people going to think when they come to my page?!
Dreama-
Yum, but I can't eat yet....can't get the puke from Bon out of my mind!
I will tell you one last story, as I feel safe here as well. (Lord, knows why! Ha!)
I did get my friend Jeanie back, on accident, of course.
I was going to ISU ( those from Ill, know that is in AbNormal ( I like to call it that) part of Bloomington_Normal. It was the end of the school year, so we loaded up my trunk and I was taking her back home to Washington. I always cut through on the Congerville exit and took the 'back' roads through the fields. Well, we had to pee very badly and couldn't wait, so I pulled off the road a bit. You know how there are ditches next to the roads? We open our doors and prop our butts on the edge of the part of the car by the seat......then I hear, "Geesh! My feet are getting wet." The Jeanie screams, "Jax! You are peeing on my feet!" Ooops...The car was leaning to her side , and we had taken off our flips and thrown them in the backseat...so we were barefoot! Yuck, that was before there were water bottles, so she had to pour Coke on her feet, to try and clean off my pee. So, she had sticky, pee feet all the way home!
JAX - oh hell ya I did!
moooooo
Oh, Mo....if only the world could see your comments....I am gonna get you!!! LOL!
It was dark and I did not see the cow!!! Plus, I may have been a little 'impaired.'
JAX, send your friend a pair of waders!
I wonder if birdee drowned in the falls!! BIRDEEEEEEEE come out, come out
Jigglin ~~ I agree! Mo is such a spoil-sport, keeping all her 'gifts' hidden....after today's posts, the world really does need to see the MOO-Shoe Pork portrait!
ok, ok...i will give in to peer pressure and un-hide my comments! but only for a couple of days!
Check out birdee's, jax and lovey's, too!! And I suggest you wear depends...or take the lappy to the bathroom with you and read from there!
Jax- Ihave been to your hometown several for their craft stores. It is a cute little town!
Turtle- I think I have been shopping at your home town too.
Actually Turtle yours is a city not a little town like Washington.
my comments are public now
Yeah, Mo! Show those comments....I'm am going to find some good ones!!!!
Lovey!!!!
I cannot believe you did that to me too! LMAO!!!
Zona-
You are a part of this? You really are killing me!
JAXXXXXXXXXX...payback is a bitch!!
I nominate Jax to be an official crackwhore!! Any seconds?
OMG, I need to find a cow...gotta pee...badly!
bwahahaha
Do not whisper a word about my being able to cook. I have pretended for years that I can only make TV dinners so I get taken out to dinner alot! :0)
Iteach-
Then you remember the 'square' in Washington? Blink, and you'll miss it!
Mo!
Now there is no need for name calling! I am paying YOU back!!!
LMAO at you pee-ing!
OMG, Lovey...the comment you just left pretty much covers what it was like---TMI: just need to throw some long blonde hair over those dog-ears to catch the pineapple chunks!
JAX...I'm done!! Truce????? Besides, there isnt a picture comment in the world that will ever top the pic Lovey sent to BON'O!!!
This has been a riot!
Mo, you have alot of great comments!!!! Thanks for finally letting us in to laugh!
ROTFLMAO!!!!!
and the Oscar goes to....
LOVEY!
That is priceless! Bon, you have to admit, she did a great job and gave you a nice sports car to vomit out of!
Hey, did anyone know what a GREAT COOK Dreama was?!? Spread the word...hahaha!
OK, kidlets. It's a sunny mid-50's (which may not happen again until April--we never know) and my yard is begging me to come dig in the dirt, so hard as it is to leave............and you're right. I'm going to have to really work later to top Lovey!
Don't have TOO much fun without me xoxox!
Jigglin
I love you but I might just roast you for supper in a spicy sauce and serve you as a Cajun dish.
I am with Bon'O, I have to fly the coop too and get some things done! Love to all!
Dreama!!!!
My, oh my....are you imlying that you ARE a wonderful cook?!
implying
I deleted because I accidentally had a double post!
♥lovey♥
friggen hysterical!
off to read what everyone has to say!
RONNIE ?? Do U have a myspace page?
Iteach-
Where are you from, may I ask?
I will be checking in later, if I get a chance....Mo, Birdee, & Lovey almost got me in trouble last night! Ha!
I just got home from the doctor's, all tests except one were within range so I need 3 more tests over the next 6 weeks.
Amicus - thanks for giving me the confidence to try something new.
Dreama - I am starved so your lunch sounds so delicious.
Zona - Should my daughter be telling such naughty stories? I guess in such an intimate setting it's gets your mother's blessing. LOL
I am off for the nap I didn't get after lunch. See you all later. I want to read all the funny stories. It will be hard to beat Zona's.
OMG!! All of your stories are so funny! I have ruined my eye makeup from laughing so much. Thank you Lovey for such a funny blog today.
Off hand I can't think of any pee stories. I do have some embarrassing ones though.
My doberman had gotten old and it was too hard for her to go down the steps to the back yard so I had her on a leash and was taking her to the front yard. She was in a hurry so I kind of did a leap off of the porch onto one foot. Unfortunately, my foot landed on an uneven area of the walkway, my ankle twisted and down I went right into the flower bed. I never lost hold of either the dog's leash or my cigarette. My ankle hurt so bad that I decided to just lay there under the living room windows and continue smoking my cigarette. Several people drove by and looked rather puzzled at the lady laying in the flowers, holding onto her dog and smoking.
Zona Where did you live in Calif.? I grew up in Glendora so I fly into Ontario when I go visit.
one more pee story...
On my honeymoon in the Black Hills of S.D. -Spearfish Canyon. We are hiking on an old logging trail when I have to pee- really bad. So I go find a spot behind a big tree off the trail. Suddenly I hear voices, and it is 2 guys off the trail who are by a parked truck I had not seen. Guy one says, "hey Larry- do you hear that? Sounds like a cow pissing on a flat rock". OMG- I about died. I scramble up to the trial (unseen) and tell my new hubby. He laughs hysterically. We walk. We round the bend and there are the 2 guys, and my husband KNOWS them!! He went to college out there with both of these guys who are working summer logging jobs.
Sooo, I am standing there being all cool and smiling (bcause they hadn't seen me) as they chat when my husband says "hey- are you the 2 that heard the cow pissing on the flat rock?" as he turns and grins at me. Oh, meet my wife Heidi.
Love all your stories owlettes!!
OMFG!!! LMAO!!!!
You guys are hilarious today! I don't have any stories funny enough for you guys. No peeing in public, no getting caught in bed (well we kinda got caught in Vegas when a maid walked into the room). I do have a little "hang'n the head in shame out of a moving vehicle" one though. We were at a party for my husband and I had some red wine. I only had 2 glasses, but I had not eaten anything, and I was not a big drinker at all. I am now! Anyway I started feeling sick and so hubby and I left with our neighbors. They drove us to the party in Portland in their white Jeep SUV. Right after we left the party I had to have them pull over in a neighborhood in Portland so that I could puke. Then on the way home I did the whole hang my head out the window like a dog and proceeded to puke all the way home. On the freeway, at stop lights, everywhere. The next afternoon I went over to their house to say how sorry I was and to thank them for driving us home. When I walked past their Jeep, I turned to look at it, and what I saw was not pretty. The entire side of that white Jeep was streaked with pink puke.
Jax,
I live in Rock Falls which is north of your old stomping grounds.
LOVEY - You certainly get the prize for the best comments today!!! I especially like the hacking hound and the GOLDIE owliecow!!!
JUST_LIN: I lived in San Bernardino, right across the street from CSSB. We were right at the base of the mountains..really pretty area.
TINKA: I am very shy you know... and speaking of shy, where's TINA? ;)
Off the make some supper.
I can't wait to hear what MISS TINA has for a "Here's Your Sign" Moment!!!
Jodi- I resemble that remark!!
ZONA - Great minds think alike!!! I guess maybe she actually has to "work" today!!! he he he!!!
Jodi what are you cooking for dinner?
Zona LMAO I had a peep show ready to post on your page, but it had stuff showing, I dont want a TOS.
ROFL. so I will have to work on it more.
JODI: I'm going to make dinner too. Great minds must cook at the same time too!
ITEACH - Chickenowl.......oh no, make that chicken pot pie!!!
LOL ahhh ty Jodi I've been having a blast today!!
LOVEY: Uh-oh..will I need the Depends when you're finished?? ;)
Zona what are you making for dinner?
ITEACH: Chicken fried owl..I mean steak..mashed potatos and corn..
ITEACH: Biscuits...
ITEACH: Maybe some dessert...
..or just fruit...
..pudding..no I don't like that..
how 'bout ice cream..??
..chocolate cake...?
96
ooops no chocolate..
97
100
TINA....where are you???
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