today our daily blog
is from just_lin
So funny!!
Out of the Mouths of Babes
by just_lin
There are those times in life when you just want to disappear or have the earth open up beneath your feet and swallow you. Those times when you wish you could shrink down to one inch tall and quietly slink away to a corner and hide. Thanks to my children there are two such times that come to mind for me.
One such time happened at a little child's birthday party. My children and I were having a great time. The birthday boy was only a few years old so most of the attendees were adult relatives and friends of the parents. The party was indoors and the house was small for all the people attending. My children and I were also the only whites, everyone else being black. Suddenly my 5 year old daughter asks me in a loud voice, "Mommy, do you like black people?" I swear time seemed to stop, conversations seemed to cease, everyone seemed frozen in place. Perhaps it was just my imagination. As nonchalantly as possible, I told my daughter that I liked nice people, so if they were nice, then I liked them. She exclaimed, "Me, too", and went on her merry way. The world then started revolving again.
Another time, my son, who was probably about 6 at the time, informed their very religious, sweet, matronly, proper babysitter that he didn't know why I wouldn't let him sleep in my bed because I let everyone else.
Has anyone else been totally mortified by their children? Or perhaps you are the one that embarrassed your parents, friend, or sibling.
Just_Lin
269 comments:
1 – 200 of 269 Newer› Newest»??????
is this what it's like to be first? i kinda like it~ :)~
Off to read 4 days worth of blogs and comments~ See you in about a week~ :)~
Hello Tina!
Good morning...again
Great TOTD, Just_Lin.
Waving to tina and iteach.
Ronnie
Morning to TINA #1..good luck with the reading
JUSTLIN: Way to jump in there gal..thanks
Hey to ITEACH and RONNIE
Hi Ronnie and iteach~
I'm playing secretary to the Principal today~ I hope he doesn't ask me to take dick-tation~ :)~
Hi nowmercy~ now I'm really off~
Tina, congrats on first!!!!!!
Good morning iteach!
Funny topic just_lin!
My then 5 yr.old son was in kindergarten and a little girl kept inviting him over. I told the mom my son did not want to go to a girls house lol. The mom told me how disappointed her daughter was and so I told her to come to my house. Well, my son went nuts! "I won't play with her. I'll be mean to her" etc....
So my son followed his word and wouldn't share anything. The little ones went down to the basement and my son would not let her shoot pool ~ would not let her have a stick to shoot! She came upstairs and told her mom who said "We're leaving soon" and my son said "Why don't you leave now????"
5 yrs. old!!!!! I was mortified!
The next day I apologized to her mom and her mom told me she couldn't wait to come back and that she had so much fun!! What age does this start with girls liking BAD BOYS!!!!!!????
Good morning nowmercy and ronnie!!
Good Morning Owls!!
Tina: First!! WTH is she doing up this early??? LOL Congrats!
Hi Iteach, NowM and ronnie!!!
Great blog Just lin: The only one I can think of right now is when my youngest daughter was in kindergarten and she kept bugging me all week to meet her new friend. I picked her up at school and she grabbed my hand and ran to her classroom so I could meet her.
The teacher and the little girls Mom were both there. My daughter was so excited she practically shouted "Mom this is my brown friend Kristina"!!!! Yep Kristina was black. LOL I looked at Kristina's Mom and said well she knows her colors! We all three started to crack up.
Well I am on the run today gang! Will try to catch up late this afternoon. Hugs to everyone have a great day!
Oh my gosh JUSTLIN I just about spit my coffee out laughing..I should know better with your wit, to be sipping while reading.
My ex fil is a deacon in the Catholic Church, so when my 5 year old informed him that Christmas and Easter were possibly created to get pagans to change religions I wanted to disappear.. I had no idea she was listening to a discussion the night before. Took a loong time to pay for that one.
We use anatomical names for body parts, so when my then 4 year old (same kiddo) informed the same grandpa and grandma that "My labia are itchy in these underpants" I had more fun watching them almost faint while trying to be nice and not die in front of her.
Last week my dd informed a grouchy teacher she has for two classes that her "personal goal" with him was to share a real smile once a day for a week. She also told him she worried his stress was going to hurt his health. They have been best buddies ever since.
I JUST love what kids will do. I have a LOT of freckles and had a kid ask me in a shopping lane what was wrong with my skin and did it hurt..his poor mom, I was giggling but managed a respectful answer to his innocent inquiry. lol
One morning as I was grocery shopping with my almost four year old son sitting in the basket, a gentleman who just happened to be an amputee with no left arm approached us pushing his basket.
My son took one look at him and asked, "Did ya break your arm?"
The gentleman didn't respond, so my son asked again, "Did ya break your arm?". With that, I began to push my basket away, and the man chuckled and said..."Yes, Son..clean off." I was so embarrassed.
Ronnie
Good Morning Grandma Moses!! LOL at your Son!!!
Ya'll are just so funny!!
Good morning, grandma moses, lynn d
and nowmercy.
Lynn D, nowmercy and Ronnie, I am reading all of these stories with a wide smile on my face! LOL ENJOYING!
GRANDMAM: LOL...wonder what ever happened to that girl? Kids!
LYNND: Woah you are fast on your feet, "knows her colors".. classy.
We have a family down the street that provides our diversity...they have four kids, two adopted from Korea and two black kids from USA. Well one day a friend said how neat it is for us to have (in backwoods Montana) some black kids for diversity. My kid protests..NO, they aren't black, they are tan and dark brown. Loved it and love the mixture
RONNIE: no turbo boost on that shopping cart? Did you have to explain how the gentleman broke his arm "clean off"..what a great response.
Good morning- tina was 1st? Wahoo for tina~
I think life is back to normal today. Thanks everyone for the good wishes for the nephew and he is a lot better. I hope I get a chance to finally read all those blogs I missed and comment.
j/l - what a good laugh I had this morning over your blog!
My most embarrasing ever out of the mouth of babes moment happened in a K-Mart. My son was 3 and he was in the cart and kept standing up. I would tell him to sit down. Quietly but firmly. Finally on about the 4th time, I turned around and pointed my finger and said sternly "Sit down!" At this point the child starts YELLING- "DON"T BEAT ME, DON'T BEAT ME!" I had never raised a hand to that child in his entire little life before that, but believe me I wanted to at that point. Everyone in that store heard it and the looks I got were evil. I picked the kid out of the cart, I walked out the door and I don't think I went back there for a year.
Good Morning Owls,
Tina, good to see u!I think we were ready to send out a search party.
Gm, Iteach,Ronnie,Nowmercy,
Grandma and LynnD.
JustLin, thank you for the blog today!
I'll have to go into my vault for this one..LOL>
Good Morning to all posting after me, or while I was :o)
I am looking forward to reading today.. I'll check back later on, thanks JUSTLIN and CAROL..
GOLDIE..lol, bet he's still creative with words!!
It reminded me of another one, I'm at the health food store check out counter with a pimply faced boy at the register... he is putting my items through when my 6 or so year old daughter tells him.. "Mom always buys chocolate when she is going to start her PERIOD, it makes her feel better and makes her PERIOD feel better, nobody better try to get her chocolate around her PERIOD" HOO boy I did not know the human body could put that much blood into a face and still leave the person standing..that boy was EMBARRASSED.. as was I but man that was funny.
Good morning goldie and lovey!! I will be back later today to read these funny stories!
BREAKFAST IS SERVED IN HONOR OF INNOCENTS EVERYWHERE:
Poptarts
Cocopuffs
Cold Pizza
Bananas and peanut butter
Cinnamon Toast
Round Eggs in Toast
Captain Crunch
Apples, Grapes, Strawberries, Oranges
Juice
There is a cart a little farther on with Latte's, Coffee and Tea and Grapefruit.
Glycemic Rush anyone?
For years we had a "Hell and Damnation" minister that pounded the pulpit. One Easter morning, he was up there shouting..."THE LORD HAS RISEN, AND HERE TODAY"
My then four year old daughter leaned over and whispered, "Where is He." I patted her knee. Our minister repeated the statement, and again, "Where is He, Mama?" in a quiet whisper. I patted again, and all of a sudden she shouted out..."I KNOW WHERE HE IS! HE'S BEHIND THOSE PURPLE CURTAINS."
I guess she just wanted everybody to know where He was because noone could see him.
Ronnie
Since I don't have kids I don't have a story to share.
I'm sure there were many stories my mother would tell...because in her eyes,I was never good enough...not only in manners, but in every aspect of life as a kid and as an adult.
I think I'll take a break from the blog today.
Hope you all have a happy Hump Day.
Love n Hugs, xox
Thank you, nowmercy for the lovely breakfast.
Ronnie
Oh I am LMAO this morning and had to check back before I jump in the shower!!
Divine NowM: I love your daughter!!! Priceless My labia is itching in this underwear!!!
Ronnie: I love the mans response broke it clean off! LOL
Quick story about one of my sons. It is not what he said it was what he did.
I had my youngest daughter at home with a midwife. I was in labor and the midwife had arrived. Mr. Lynn D asked the midwife if he had time to run to the grocery store real quick to pick up some items and get a movie for our son so that he would be out of the way. The midwife informed him that yes there was plenty of time.
Side note I had gone into labor 3 weeks early and we were not fully prepared.
So he grabbed our son who was 3 at the time and we were in the process of potty training him. I think you may know where this is going. They get to the grocery store Mr. Lynn D is running down the aisles grabbing things quickly he hits the movie rentals and grabs some He man cartoons and then heads to the check out.
Well there was a short line so he is standing there and just happens to look down. There is a trail of what looks like milk duds from his cart to the end of the check out. He looks and looks and it finally dons on him that those are not milk duds!!!!
He looks at our son who is red in the face, you know I am going potty face. Mr. Lynn D says he looked aroung in a panic and there was no one behind him and no one in front was paying attention.
As he told this story I said did you ask for some paper towels to clean it up?? He said Hell NO I gently kicked them under the candy display and paid and got the hell out of there!!!!
I am laughing so hard as I remember this that I have tears in my eyes.
Mr. Lynn D did not tell me this story until after I delivered my daughter.
To this day I am alternately embarrased that he left this mess but just howl with laughter when I think about when they swept under that display!!!!
Ok I have got to get in the shower!!
G/M Lovey and Goldie.
Goldie, DON'T BEAT ME, DON'T BEAT ME. LOL LOL
Gotta love 'em.
Ronnie
One more- same kid.
About 2yrs old and in a stoller, downtown with my Mom. We lived in a small town that had a a downtown square. The fire station was a block and a half away. We are standing on the sidewalk chatting with some of my Mothers friends and neighbors when the child starts yelling "Gamma, fuck, Gamma fuck!" Well my poor mother was trying to ignore the kid,I am trying to shush him and the ladies are doing their best to pretend this whole thing is not happening. But he is nothing if not persistant! Finally we figured out he was looking down the road as the fire truck which was returning to the station. His enunciation was not too developed yet....
BE back later and catch up on the fun.
Have a good morning everyone.
Ronnie
Lovey- I have kids, but it is my own big mouth that gets me in trouble a lot!
I forget to think before I talk.
Ughhhh!
LOVEY- Please don't leave. You don't have to have kids to have stories of some whippersnapper who made you blush!
I am sorry your Mother made you feel like that. But you sure proved her wrong, didn't you?! IMHO
((hugs))
LOVEY: I bet it is really strange to feel like you don't have inclusion in the topic. If you do think of any funny kid stories or just want some care for what is hard...pleeease let the nest be a place for that too. How about funny four legged kid stories.. I know there have to be some of those too? Just as legitimate as the two legged kid stories in my book.
Okey dokey...sending (((hugs)))
GOLDIE said it way more clearly.. we love ya LOVEY
ITEACH..are we supposed to think before we talk? Is that possible? LOL..we all love LOVEY
OMG! What a topic! What mother couldn't write a novel of those humiliations our children put us through? OK, one of my faves was when I was a single mom and my daughter was about 3. I had a date over (I always made sure that she was fast asleep before I brought anyone home) and we were sitting in the living room of my apartment. Suddenly something came flying through the air at us, and I couldn't figure out what happened -- until my little girl came running into the room playing "shoot 'em up" with my TAMPONS!!!! I nearly died!
The other one that stands out in my mind is career day at her preschool. When she was asked what her mommmy did, she said "she gets the bad guys out of jail" - I was doing criminal law at the time and had to drag her with me to the jail in the middle of the night more than once, so that is how she saw my "job".
I have, of course, been paying her back ever since ... now the tables have turned (oh yeah, and now SHE'S gonna be a mom - I can hardly wait for him to start embarrassing her).
CG: Tampon wars and bad guys.. interesting family.. that got me laughing..
Good morning!
Congrats Tina!! Woohoo for first!!
I am LOVING the stories this morning! JL GREAT topic!!
I have a funny to share, but will have to post later. Gotta dash off to work!
Have a wonderful day!!
Good Morning Everyone - I am too late to name everyone but I am really enjoying these stories.
Congratulations Tina for being 1st. Where have you been?
At the age of three and a half my oldest daughter embarrassed me with an incident that the family still recalls today. We were all so excited because my aunt and uncle were visiting us for the first time from Halifax. I hadn't seen them since I was 4. The family was gathered in my mom and dad's living room when we arrived. My kids were shy at first and then I was pleased because Cara climbed right up on Uncle George's lap. I thought she was going to kiss him but instead she said in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear, " I know why your teeth are rotten, you didn't brush your teeth". I nearly fainted. I had wanted them to make such a good impression. He just quietly said "Yes dear you are right". The party continued. We had quite a talk later about 'appropriate comments'. She didn't quite get it because her only reaction was "But that's what you always say will happen if we don't brush our teeth". Now she has kids of her own to give her grey hairs.
I forgot the thank Just Lin for her great post and to tell Goldie how happy I am that her nephew is fine. That's great news.
Nowmercy - I am now going to have round eggs in toast, strawberries and tea. Thanks for breakfast.
I am having lunch with a few friends from school - a mini reunion. I will be back this afternoon. I am looking forward to more entertaining stories.
G/M owls
I don't have kids either, but I have a Nephew story.
I was in DE visiting and took my then 4 y/o nephew out and about, we stopped in a little country general store complete with a pot-bellied stove that all the locals gathered around to shoot the breeze. As I was checking out, my Nephew stooped down to look at some toys strategically under the counter. As he stood up he hit his head on the overhang of the counter. In a big booming voice he said "SON BITSCH BUMP HURT ME". Like an idiot I said "Whaaat?" He of course repeated it. Everyone sitting around in the store suddenly got very interested in their newspapers.
My three year old son and I were grocery shopping and he was riding in the basket as I stopped to select some tomatoes in the produce department. Well, I had a slight bit of painful 'gas' in my tummy, and since there was noone around, I tooted. We then headed, very quickly, to the dairy isle where there was an elderly couple by the sour cream that I needed. They proceeded to smile and say hello to my son and remarked what a big-boy he was helping his mama shop. My son grinned and said..."Don't go by the tomatoes, Mama tooted over there."
OMG...screw the sour cream, I smiled and went to check-out.
Ronnie
After my then 3 yo daughter and her bff took off with out permission, walked 4 blocks in the dark with barefeet to arrive at my house from the bff's house to tell me they were going to have a sleep over and it was okay with bff's mom.. (I was in the shower thinking my then husband had dd with friends up the street for a hot tub)..I told them I'd be right with them when my then husband screams into the house that the girls are missing and the police have been called..calmly I yelled down the stairs the girls were with me..I had to yell because the minute they heard his voice they started wailing. After all the dust settled I gave her the lecture..here are all the virtues I see, leadership, adventerous, bravery etc..and how they were mis-used and the dangers etc I asked her what she had learned..in that chokey sobby voice she said "y y yes, next next t t time, bring a flashlight" Well, if laughter held in could kill a person I might've died right then and there.
Oh RONNIE...LAUGH
OUT
LOUD!!!!!!
I have been trying to read the comments from area 51. Is it just me or is it hard to read the comments in order?
Lovey - I guess your message got lost in space but thanks for answering on the blog. Maybe I did bookmark Dory and Lacey and that's why my page opened to them instead of to mine. I rather like the other explanation that there is a connection between our 'babies' but they are the same breed. You know the "Birds of a feather flock together" idea.
Good morning Pink/Tink~~
Loved your story about the teeth!!
These kiddo's can really be honest. Have a wonderful lunch with you classmates.
Luv ya,
Ronnie
Good Morning Ronnie - I am looking forward to seeing 'girls' I haven't seen in a few years. I hope we all still look the same. Have a great day Sweetie.
I have some things I need to do today, but hope to come back this evening to catch-up on everyone's funny stories
Project Runway finale tonight...Woo-Hoo. I bet it's either Christian or Jillian who wins. (Hope it's Jillian) For those of you who are fans, who do you think will win?
Ronnie
Not a steamroller in sight....
#50
I don't have children, but they can and will say anything unexpected and when it's least expected. I've witnessed it so often while shoping and especially while standing in a long line and the whee ones get bored and begin their questions and comments. I find it all amusing.
Nowmercy
Alright! Cinnamon toast. I haven't had that in ages. Thanks!!!
Wow...So many in the nest already this morning...
Big Group Wave!!!!
I have enjoyed the stories as well.... I don't have kids either.. but My best friend s son was with my hubby and I many times... We were at a restuarant "all you can eat seafood".. so they pack you in tight...
The tables are close...
well josh was about 2 maybe... and we had him in a high chair in the aisle.small as they were... well the waitress was serving drinks at the next table... she was bent over... and he reached over and grabbed her butt...
she shot straight up and turned and looked at Mr.IBB... well he just laughed and said ... "Taught him right..."
I could have died...
shopping
Joey's not here to throw me a P
Good Morning Owls!
My kids are always saying things that crack me up, or make me want to go into hiding... but of course, I can't think of any funny stories right now. The only one that comes to mind is when I was talking to my then almost 3 year old daughter about how to behave for her first day of pre-school. She looked at me with all seriousness and said, "I know mommy. Don't say Stupid and don't say FAUK." I wanted to die! I knew right then and there that it was time to clean up our act!
Hope you all have a great day. It is raining here, but I am all cozy inside with the fireplace on and I think I am going to make some soup.
Have a good one!
Congrats TINA on # 1.....
Welcome back...
Just_lin--Great totd ..
Goldie... So glad you have news on your nephew...
Lovey--
Love you!!!
Tinka--Hugs...
Good morning --
Dreama --
I teach --
Ronnie girl--
Now mecry---
I still say in best elvis--Have mercy... --
LynnD--
Grandma Moses--
CG--
EBJ---
SCirish---
Hope all have a great day... I have lots to do... but don't want to overdo...
don't to relapse!!!
Later taters!!!
My nephew did embaress me a few times. The first time was when he was about 7. We'd play in my parents swimming pool. If he needed to pee then he'd get out and whip his thingie out and let it rip. He thought he was the bomb. He'd yell out look how far I can pee. I'd freak out and tell him no. My sister and my Mother would freak out. Finally he grew out of it.
Another time I took him grocery shopping. I had to get a pile of stuff for my catering and it was going to be an hour long task. My nephew was supposed to help me out. He was 9. He followed me down every isle with his legs bent, swinging his arms and making monkey noises. If I turned around and asked him to stop then it just got worse.We went down every isle with him behaving this way. Now he is age 24 and for years I have paid him back by telling every girlfriend what he was like as a child.
Tina Congrats on being first today.
My sincere apologies to Lovey and anyone else who may feel excluded by today's topic. That was certainly not my intent. I am aware that not all of us have our own children but that doesn't mean it couldn't be a niece, nephew, or friend's child that embarrassed us. I was just hoping to elicit funny stories so we could all have a good laugh and I'm having some really good laughs so far.
GOOD MORNING NESTMATES! Am I confused? Tina AND IBB in the morning? Tina, if you get bored taking "dicktation", you might set up a MySpace page for R'girl......she needs a good kick-start!
If we ever thought kids don't listen to their parents...seems most of our stories are of 'those' words we hope they didn't hear. My most-embarrassing parent moment:
**Preschool 6pm parent arrival for pickup of their lil angels.** I arrived at the already crowded lobby to pick up daughter. Found her sitting on the bench having a mini-meltdown, teacher asking her what's wrong. Her loud, frustrated reply: "I can't tie my F***ING shoelaces!!!"
Niece Kimm (now a grandma herself) could never say her own grandma's name, which was Bert (short for Roberta. It always came out 'bitch'. One day, in a crowded toy store she was saucer-eyed over a humongous teddy bear. Her immediate and very loud reaction was to say "Look, Bitch!!! This teddy bear's bigger than me!" Needless to say, everyone DID look, but not at the bear:D~.
Her brother, Timm, was a huge fan of KFC. (Bet you can tell where this is going...) Driving anywhere, his eagle eye would spot the Colonel's big red sign and he'd shout "I want Kenfucky Tried Chicken!" Needless to say, our entire family has never called it anything else.
DREAMA..omg at first I thought you wrote "he would rip is thingie out he thought it WAS a bomb" and I just sat here, wondering what was next... lol a million times over.
BONSIS..naturally we post at the same time..never will KFC be the same but the shoe lace story takes the cake.
So Tina is taking DICK tation and my wood man is coming tonight with a full load just for me...hmmm.
When one of the neighbor kids was about 4 he had a habit of just entering houses with no knocking or doorbells. While it is a reflection of the village hood we have it did have drawbacks. One day while in the middle giving a massage (my office is in my home) he barged through the door asking for a popsicle...butt naked as could be. My client was a Fairy Aunt to lots of kids so she laughed herself silly.
Oh, he did not get a popsicle but his mom did get him dressed.
Good Morning Peeps!
No kids here, but I will come up with a neice or nephew or friends kid story soon unough.
I'm not sure that I have enough time to comment on how many times my son has been inappropriate! But I have a funny one that my niece pulled on my sister.
My sister was at the grocery store with her daughter who was about 3. She was small enough to be sitting in the cart seat. A black man walked by and Missy starts singing very loudly..."Bad boy bad boy whatcha gonna do..." My sister was mortified! The guy started cracking up and Missy in all her cuteness just gave hima big smile.
They stopped watching the show COPS after that!
Congrats on 1st Tina!!
Now off to read the posts!
Barbara in WA LMAO @ Bad boy. OMG!
Really trying to remember when I embarrassed MY parents most. Not easy, since a grew up in a home where my father's motto was "Children are to be seen and not heard". (That may explain why he and I were never best friends.) The only instance that comes to mind is:
We lived in a very small and close-knit community. A sweet elderly couple, the Murrays, lived next door and dropped in for long visits way too often. One evening, I answered their knock at the door. Without saying Hello, I turned and yelled to my mom in the kitchen "You're right, Mom. It's the damn Murrays, AGAIN!"
Zona:
Are you on the route? Interested in meeting?
Tina~ So good to see you make a fly-by!
When I married my now husband we each had 2 sons.His were little hellions. My boys were raised by my Mama "look". If they misbehaved I would just give them the "look". I so hoped his sons would learn from that... nope my sons just learned to be little hellions! One of his boys was blonde the other a red head, mine were black haired and auburn. They never tired of making a point of calling me Ma Ma in unison in public. It was a silly joke they played to make me look like I "got around". I did get a lot of weird stares!
OMG! These stories are so friggen hilarious!
Now Mercy~ I just read your myspace message! I never noticed the quote of the day! Oh my! out of the mouths of owlettes LOL!!
Nowmercy
definition of the bomb meaning very cool.rofl
Anyhow he liked to show us how far he could shoot his pee into the air. I got the hose after him once and showed him how far I could shoot water from the hose straight into his head and gut. As we all know, I am a bad aim with a hose so it didn't ever teach him not to do it. Boys will be boys.
Lord, he'd kill me if he knew I put this on a public blog. I have his photos on Myspace. I should title one of them the little boy who used to.... Nah, I better not. He and I have pranked each other for years and the last prank I really got him good and he pouted and kept saying that wasn't funny as me, his Mother, his best friend, and his grandpa laughed hysterically. My mom didn't get the joke. She doesn't have a sense of humor, but that's OK. She is out numbered.
Whabbear ~ sorry I missed you last night!
You are all cracking me up!
LUNCH: AGAIN TO HONOR THOSE YOUNGUNS
-Mac and Cheese (Kraft)
-Saltines and butter
-PBJ with no crusts
-Grilled Cheese with no crusts
-Celery filled with cream cheese
-Chips and Fritos
-Baby carrots
-Pickles and olives
-Juice, Water, Milk, Soy Milk
-Watermelon WITH seeds
Farther away:
More Lattes, Soda Pop, Tea
Standing by: Clean up team and dogs to lick em all clean...
mary....
when can i expect my fuck me shoes to arrive???!!!!
75! LOL!
BARBWA: yay for you 75. I wondered that too.. I don't want to be a whiny niece, and yet if AUNT MARYMI adopted us, shouldn't we be getting what she promised? AUNTIE MARYMI.............
BarbWA & N/M ~~ Sent you both a starter kit!
Afternoon everyone!
Funny blog J/LIN! I think I am the one that has embarrassed myself more than anyone else ever could.
There is one incident though. I was going over to my neighbor's house one day while she was baby sitting her 3 year old niece. They were both sitting in the front yard and my neighbor waved and said 'HI!'. Her niece took one look at me and ran screaming into the house. I stood there stunned. I couldn't figure out what the hell happened or what I must have looked like to terrify this child. My neighbor went into the house and then came out and announced that her neice wouldn't come out, so she would have to go in. Mortified, I went home. A few days later this same neighbor had all her family over for a bar-b-que. They had called and invited me and Mr. Z, but he had to work...so I went alone. I walked into the yard and saw 'Charlie', my neighbors neice playing with her dad. Her father waved and she looked up and SCREECHED and ran behind her dad sobbing. Good Lord..there were 20 people there and I just wanted to die! The adults were all laughing. Charlie's dad picked her up and took her in the house. I stood there turning 20 shades of red. My neighbor came over to me, tears running down her face from laughing. "It's my fault. I didn't want her playing in the gravel in your front yard and getting hurt. She wouldn't listen, so I told her if you ever caught her over there,
you were going spank her..and that you spanked hard!" I was dumbfounded. It took 6 more months before they could convince that child I really wasn't the Wicked Witch of the West. She's 10 now, but I swear she's still looking for my broom.
Sorry for the long post. I'm off to read the comments...if I can stop looking at George Clooney, who FINALLY has shown up again with..who was that?? TINA!!!
GOLDIE - Seriously......can't.....type....from.....the....floor!!! OMFH!!! The fire truck story is priceless!!!
When our oldest was just about 2 or 3, we thought it would be a hoot to have her call our friend Richard, Dick (as this is what he goes by). Not too funny when we were all at the same funeral and when she saw him walk into the service.....she said "There's my big Dick!!!!" Holy crap......I coulda died......but a hell of a way to break the tension at a funeral.
TINA - I can't wait to hear what you have to say on today's topic.
LOVEY - So sorry that you feel you can't participate today. And seriously, your mother is TOTALLY WRONG!!! I'm always interested in what a beautiful, intelligent woman has to say.
TURTLE - If you happen to make a wrong turn North, you know where to find me ;)
BON*BON - The color looks fabulous!!! And I didn't bring a 6 pack, but we did open a lovely bottle of LeSera!!! Couldn't find my camera....but will take pics when I do.........my daughter probably has it.....go figure!!!
ITEACH - Sorry I missed you the other night! How much snow did you get? I had heard that they had to close part of the interstate in Rock County (down by Janesville).
Once again, this TOTD is a homerun! Thank you J/LIN. Everyone's posts are so funny, I think my headache is going away!
MARY/MI: Immortalized on the naughty mat with the comment of the day! LOL!
TINA: Congrats on #1..oh and you did #2..and #3!
RGIRL: "Behind the curtain.." like the Wizard of Oz!!
ITEACH: I can so relate to speaking before thinking.
NOWMERCY: ROFL! Your daughter's innocent honesty is wonderful! I also loved her insightful comment in AREA 51.
GOLDIE: OMG! My cousin would get in trouble and then run down the street screaming "Not the strap, mom!" My Aunt had never even hit him! I had tears in my eyes from laughing at your post!
LYNND: I will never look at MilkDuds again without laughing at your hubby's "sweeping" action!
LOVEY: I THINK YOU ARE WONDERFUL. I'm sorry you were hurt.
Still reading...
Jodi Somehow I missed the story on why you have to type from the floor. Please tell.
Too cool to see Jodi in da house before midnight!!!
Hey, owl buddies....just got off the phone with daughter who had a question about the soon-to-arrive puppies, and wondered if any of my work or online buddies would have some ideas for her. Told her my NESTMATES are all over the puppy spectrum and would have answers. See post to follow........
So...with 8 labs soon to join the family, daughter was doing online research about them. Read that they make very good service dogs. She's had some good fortune lately and wants to pay it forward by donating one puppy to a reputable organization that trains service animals.
There are so many of you guys who know a lot on that subject. I'd love to hear from you and share your knowledge with her. Deserving agencies? Do they accept such donations? Thanks,
Cat Person Bon'O
CGIRL: "INCOMING!!" ;)
IBB: My nephew always went for the boobs!
BON'O: AAAAAAA!!! KFC! LMAO!!
JODI: OMG..**gasp**..I need my inhaler!
KGIRL: I will email you! :)
This headache is getting the best of me afterall, but I want to wave and say hi to everyone! Thanks for the laughs!
VIG: Hope you are being Un-Notorious today.
DIANNE: {{HUGS}} just cause you're so cute!
CPGEM: Thanks for this nest.
Ice..I need ice and pain pills...
JODI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My mom laughs now, but she wasn't at the time! We still tease him to this day about the fire fucks.
I am laughing so hard at all the stories!
I would also like Mary to send my fuck me shoes! Size 9 1/2 please. Hope that doesn't cost extra.
Zona- sounds like you were more traumatized then the kid was!
bon O:
I use to breed English Cocker Spaniels and also showed them.
If I remember correctly alot of the service dog orgs use established breeders and certain breeding lines. BUT, alot of them will take donations. Be aware that if the dog does not take to the training they will "pet" it out, meaning they will find it a home. I think that is a great gift she is giving. But also the orgs usually like to look at the litter and choose for themselves.
It's been a while since I was involved but a lil info none the less.
Wish I could take one, I am almost ready for a new fur pal!
What a great idea bon bon. I'm sure you can google your state agencies and non-profs to get a list of service org's that will be able to give her more info. Sorry I am of no help other then to say that Labs are the best! (proud mom to Pepper)
Wahoo 90! I just know that I will not make the march to 100. wait,, maybe.....
92
93
94
95
96
97
98
99
100!
100!
geez, almost miscounted my way out of it!
Anyway, leaving work -see you lovely ladies later.
Geez, I was vacuuming and didn't hear the march starting. Congrats, Goldie. Looks like you had the field to yourself.
Bon'O She should probably check with your local Humane Society or organization for disabled people. They would know the names of any service dog organizations.
BONSIS: I will email you too, and I have a friend here is has a lab service dog AND who is an expert about them and the training etc. She actually had a training school in Utah and is gearing up to help with state regulaitons here in Montana...so I bet I could hook you up with her? Wow.
Goldie, congrats on 100!
Good job Goldie~ Marching all alone. That's the only way I can win LOL!!
All you "ladies", your fuck me dresses & shoes are ready for you!
Whabby I have your size too for when you are feeling a little "girly".
All you have to do is make the cold ass trip to Michigan, plow through 20" of snow, slide across the black ice and be here by noon tomorrow!
I'll be waiting!
mary/mi:
Do you have the lesbian version, you know the Dr. Martens?
Even dykes need "fuck me boots"!
turtle
I just got here, and your comment was the first I read!
I spit my water out!
LOL....LOL....LOL....
I am leaving my office and going home!
Rough day!
I will check back in a few!
Happy Wednesday!!!
Just Lin - GREAT blog today - I have LOVED reading everyone's stories -
I, myself, do not have children. I don't have any stories to tell. Can't even think of any cute "other kids" stories..
Update on doc appt - he froze off two spots - one being right where my glasses sit on my nose - so that REALLY hurts!!! other spot on the back of my hand..... SO - that is GREAT news - no biopsies to worry about!!!
Bono - what a wonderful idea for service dogs for the puppies - I hope it all works out... during the tournament, there were two labs - one black, one yellow bomb sniffing dogs - BEAUTIFUL!!!
Tina, congrats on first.
Goldie - GREAT march to 100!!!
Hope the Idol girls are good tonight - I missed the girls last week.......
I hope everyone had an excellent day!!!
Hi All...I have a couple of cute things. My son (when he was about 7 or 8) was with me at a store and I was the one that had a "surprise toot". Just as it came, another customer came around the corner. My son said, "sorry, mom...execuse me". He took the fall for me!! And worse yet....I let him!!! The other funny thing the same son did as a child was once time we were at a buffet and he was old enough to push his own tray and pick food. I told him to put some corn on his tray and that is exactly what he did....took a big spoon full and dumped it right on the tray rather than on the plate.
Everyone's stories are so darn funny today. I found myself sitting in my car after a dr appt reading the blog on my phone and then my husband wants to know what took me so long. I don't tell him I was in the parking lot reading!!
K-Girl, if you decide to come through this end of Colorado, give me a yell. Maybe you could go through Idaho and have a visit with Custard for JustLin!!
I can't spend much time on here now as I am getting ready for a very big deal dinner with a "friend" now. I will check in later!!!
Dianne - have fun!! :-)
K girl~ LOL Do they still make Doc Martins! You are right though, most of my Lesb friends wouldn't be caught dead in heels (not that there is anything wrong with that LOL!!)
mary/mi: they sure do!
I wore heels in my day (but not
4" ones), but now with numb feet makes it kinda hard to navigate....
doesn't mean I don't appreciate a nice pair of legs with some Jimmy Chu's adorning their feet!
Ah Jimmy Chu's! Those days are long gone for me! My titanic knee refuses anything over 1". Now my Va/JJ ...well inches are not limited LOL!!
I can't believe I said that without Tina here!
test - I've been being foad!!!
Yeah - it worked!!!
and I really have nothing to say!! LOL..
mary - congrats on the quote of the day - I will pass on my shoes - I can NOT walk in high heels anymore -
K-Girl,LMFAO!!!!!!!
You are tooo funny! I love it!!
My niece and nephew live in Germany, and over there they are a little more free with their swear words. (Plus they live with my brother, who does not hold back in front of the kids).
One day, when they were visiting, my mom and I were taking my niece shopping. While we were driving, some man cut us off in a turn lane. When we pulled into the mall, that person who cut us off happened to park near us.
Well, my niece recognized him, and in her little 10 year old voice, yelled to him YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!!
My mom and I wanted to die, the man just laughed.
They are 18 and 16 now and neither swears much, imagine that. haha!
What happened to dinner, did I miss it?
Just came in from an afternoon of lawn mowing, de-winterizing outdoor furniture and digging in the dirt. To those of you in the balmy south I'm sure that sounds boring......but you have no idea what a joy it is for us Nanook o' the Norths!
Hmmmmmmm, I sure hope we get to see photos from Dianne's dinner with a "friend". Could it be someone we'll recognize??
Thank you so much K'girl, Goldie, JustLin, NowMercy and MEK for your comments and emails about service dog organizations. I've already forwarded your comments to the daughter and will do the same with any input yet to come in. I really appreciate it!
Iteach - maybe we are all on our own with take-out tonight!!
Bono - I would LOVE to be one of those people getting ready for spring - the one thing I miss about living in the desert is the change of seasons!!!!
iTeach~~saw your comment as I posted mine, tried to answer back but the 'Leave your Comment' box was gone...WTH?? Had to close and reopen the blog.
But since you asked......I heard YOU were in charge of dinner tonight :o) I'm sure the mid-states folks are busy watching A.I.
so what's for dinner, teach?
Oh, my gosh, Bonnie, I have no idea how to create a meal here.
I'm nervous thinking about it, really.
taking forever to post, but I'll give it a shot. MEK, come on up, girl. I'll show you some seasons~! 60 degrees today, but I can still look out the window and see snow on the hills.
Okay, iTeach....since it's kid-food day, I'll just order out....6 extra large assorted pizzas. I'll be in the kitchen making Coke floats.......with twisty straws so we can all blow bubbles into our floats!
Shirley~ It's taken me all day, but I just finished reading your blog and all the comments~ Very nicely written....and I don't understand how you could ever believe you are "stupid" when you write so brilliantly and witty~ Anyone you can take on Mo and win....well dang!!!!!
I had the opposite problem that you did....my dad and brothers called me a concentration camp victim!!! I was so skinny....naturally just really skinny, that they made fun of me~ And of course, it didn't help that I didn't have boobs either! I'm still waiting for those! :)~
Thanks to all those who watched the oscars on the blog....that was fun "re-watching" them with you~
Okay...now to start Monday~ :D
YUMMY - coke floats - with twisty straws!!!
Oh, Bonnie thank you for taking care of me!
I spend my whole day taking care of 26 seven year olds during the day and all my own little ones at night that it feels good to have you ladies watch out for me.
I try to watch out for you guys too, but it is not my strongest point. I'm starting to get better at it.
Blog problems, thought I was the only one but guess not.
mary, the trip to your house sounds like a picnic. We hearty WI/MI people don't even blink at that weather! I do need my shoes in a low flat though- probably kill myself in heels.
MEK- good news on the dr. report. I am so happy I did you proud on my own little march. Kinda like hearing voices in your head when you are all alone....
I love pizza bon bon - so I'm in for diner. Actually a tad late for dinner, but a nice snack.
Son in CA is trying to fly in tomorrow so he can go to MN with us. Going to surprise his brother and not tell him he is coming.
Oh, Tina, if I could give you one of my boobs I would.
can I have the other boob?
Okay ladies, I'm going to bed.
My husband just took cold medicine, so that means he will be snoring loudly tonight.
I must get to sleep before him or I will never sleep tonight.
MEK, did you get those rodeo tags done?
Good night everyone
Yes, you can Goldie and that would solve all my problems with my bras.
I'm going bra hunting Saturday and I'm dreading it.
ronnie-
I just talked to son a little while ago and reminded him of the DON'T BEAT ME incident. He asked what in the world made me think of that. I just chuckled~~
thanks iteach! I will treat it kindly..
Iteach - NO, I did NOT get those rodeo tags done - I have NO creative juices flowing right now and I'm REALLY crunched for time now!!! :-)
Jumping up and down - standing in that boob line!!!
Goldie - thanks!! :-)
Idol is over - thank goodness. I don't know if this is the "greatest" season yet...
Glad you're enjoying the pizzas. Figured we didn't have enough sugar in the Coke floats, so I'm firing up the cotton candy machine. Hope nobody has to spend the night down on the Naughty Mat, 'cause it could get sticky in here!
MEK~~Are you suggesting I take a opass on watching A.I. tonight?
cotton candy? I love me some cotton candy!! Sticky indeed, but I think the bigger problem will be the upset tummies with all that junk in them. Get the bucket ready!
MEK- I agree about Idol. But I ususally wait until the final 12 to really pay attention.
Bono - YUMMY - I LOVE cotton candy - we need to do kids menu more often!!!
and - NO - you should watch AI - please - you must form your own opinion. I enjoyed a couple of the performances.
Goldie - I agree with you on Idol - and the cotton candy - (I got sidetracked in my posting, watching Greta)
Have you EVER met anyone that can eat cotton candy and NOT have it stick to their fingers? - my mom has a friend who's fingers don't sweat and don't get sticky - NOT FAIR!!!
wow-just came back...what the heck's an opass that I'm taking on A.I. ?? Couldn't get jazzed about the girls last week, but maybe I'll keep one eye on it while I'm housecleaning. Just cleaned all the ashes from the fireplace. I think I might be pushing this almost-Spring thing :o)
Bono - lol at opass - I had NO idea what you meant - I just went along with it!!! :-)
I missed the girls last week - so I had NO idea what to expect.
Goldie: An impromptu family reunion? Sounds like fun!
OMG... just finished having dinner with Dianne! LOVE her! She's warm, caring, interesting, genuine... thanks, Dianne, for keeping a lonely traveler company!! :)
whab!!! There better be pictures!
Hi Whabby! How fun- its so great you got to have dinner with dianne. I would love to do that. Well, meet all the blog buddies here and have dinner. So far I have been lucky enough to break bread with Jodi. But I have high hopes for the rest of you! Its on my bucket list.
Whabby- the brothers have only been able to get together twice in the last year- so I'm happy about the reunion. Keep your fingers crossed that all goes as planned and he get here tomorrow!
Whabby and Dianne - I am SO happy that you got to meet ---
Dianne - isn't Whabby THEE most wonderful guy??!! I felt like I had known him forever, when I climbed into his car in the hotel parking lot to go to happy hour!!
Goldie - fingers are crossed that everything goes well for you guys..
150
tina congrats on first!
kgirl have a good vaca!
goldie so glad your nephew is doing better! Good news!! and congrats on 100!
dianne/denver so fun you got to met up with whabby, please do tell!
iteach two words: ear plugs!
mek glad the dr's appt went well.
lynnd brown friend, lol
congrats on 150 MEK
off to bed with me. Tomorrow promises to be a long one. Kyle home, my Mom arrriving and then getting everyone dinner and packed up and off we go first thing Friday morning. In the car, together, for 8 hours, OMG what was I thinking?????????? LOL, just another adventure (and my headphones on)!
nighters everyone
cpgem - good evening!! thanks..
Yes - Dianne and Whabby - we want details!!! AND - there better be pictures!!!
Nite Goldie - LOL - I guess we should be careful what we wish for - BUT - you will have a blast!!
Hi Owlettes! You guys stories have REALLY lifted my mood today! Thanks to all of you who sent me sweet messages/comments about my sad anniversary! It is VERY much appreciated!
WOW, whabbear met Dianne! awesome..There better be pics lol
Talk to y'all tomorrow...Thanks again for the funny stories..I am sure I have some about my brothers, just that my mind is too foggy right now to think!
Oh, and the girls did not do so well on Idol I don't think! I still have a couple fave girls;)
Oh and EBJ: Thanks for "that" link! LMAO;)
just_lin Thanks so much for the daily blog, very lighthearted funny blog!
I remember being on the beach with my nephew, and all of sudden he starting screaming "there is a rock in my pee-she"(that was our nickname for penis) "there is a rock in my pee-she" he did this like ten times.
Everyone on the beach were staring at us, while my nephew screams this and jumps up and down crying!
The rock was not in his pee-she it was just in his bathing suit, so we just shook out his bathing suit and the rock fell out.
It is just a fun memory, that we still talk about today!
Thanks again just_lin
:O)
Joey - dangnabit - where have you been??!! :-)
The one gal that actually gave me goose bumps tonight - the judges didn't like !! oh well.....
mek I did not love AIdol either,
However I did love Project Runway!
Goldie~~Good to catch you here, good night and good trip.
Joey~~Good to have you back, even if only for a bit. See y'all soon!
joey Glad you stopped by, Tomorrow will be a brighter day!
Bon'O, Joey, Carol, MEK: YES! I forgot my camera, but Dianne brought hers, and we got our waiter to take a pic!
Good luck, Goldie! And speaking of breaking bread with bloggers... don't forget... Labor Day Weekend... BABB part deux!
MEK: Awww, thank you, honey!
It's 8:30 and I am heading to bed. It's been a long and nostalgic day talking to school friends, some I haven't seen in years. I am beginning to sound like my mother, "Where have the years gone?"
Good Night Sweet Owls. Don't stay up all night.
Love, Tinka
Whabby - you are welcome - but it's the TRUTH!!!
:-)
Now - WHERE did you guys eat??!!
slowly but surely, we'll get the details!!
Story I would like to share!
Today in my office, I got a visitor, someone I have not seen for a while.
We were friends for many years!
And then one day we weren't.
It was his choice as he just broke away from me for his own reasons and I guess circumstances. I was hurt and angry at the time and always said I would never ever give him the time of day again, he also owes me about $400.00...
He works a couple blocks away from me however we rarely ever run into each other.
When he walked in needless to say I was shocked, he acted as nothing was wrong and asked me if I would call him a taxi, I asked for what reason and he said he needed a ride home (which is about 20min from me)
I offered to take him home and he accepted my offer.
He talked most of the way, not sure really about what, because all I kept thinking was "why am I doing this".
I dropped him off, said goodbye and that was it!
I think I am pissed at myself for doing it, as I am not sure he would have done the same for me. I know He only came to me because he was in a bind and needed a ride. Why did he not call a taxi from his cell phone?
So this I need to ponder, I know its done, and I can't change it, however I am still wondering why I did it!
whabby I second mek I think your are the bestest!
:O)
cpgem - you did it because you are a NICE PERSON!! I probably would have done the same thing and then been pissed at myself...
mek You would have?
Yes, I would have - sadly!!!
:-)
Then - I would have dwell on WHY for days afterwards...
Yep that is me, I will dwell now!
Thanks for your input, I feel better now!
Gee, what is it I always say about you, oh I forgot!
:O)
Oh Now I Remember!
"You are the best"
Yep, thats what I think, so glad I remembered!
Glad I could "help" -
:-)
cp - thanks!!
NO - YOU are the BEST!!!
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Ooh, Carol...a tough one. Does your car have doors you can control from the driver's side? I think, before I let him out at home, I might have had to 'check my meter for the taxi fare...say, something in the neighborhood of $400 :D~
bono
lol...
The money was never even mentioned by him, it was on my mind tho!
It is not the money! I could care less about it now, Its the point!
Bono - good one - that would be what I would be kicking myself for after dropping him off -
WHY THE HELL DIDN'T I ASK FOR THE MONEY??
But - i am TOO nice!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't have the "balls"
cp - like I said - WE ARE TOO NICE!!
:-)
Can't say I'd have done it, but as Carol said....he could have called a taxi from anywhere. I think it was a test. Does she remember? Will she mention it? Am I off the hook?
I have to add one more thing!
The other day, I think it was Tuesday, I saw him drive by my office. Like I said I have not seen him in a while and he drove right by and did not even look in.
And today he walks in....
Weird huh!
so, if he drove by one day, why does he need a taxi the next.
very odd behavior.......
bono
He drives a company truck, so I think he might have had a fight with his boss and could not take the company truck home....
EBJ - the judge on the Scott Peterson murder trial died today - they think that his dead will help with Scott's appeals on the death penalty -- I sure hope not..
oh, the company truck trick!!
Oh well, tomorrow is another day!
I am off to bed as its midnight here and I will soon turn into a crabby owl if I don't get some sleep..
See you all tomorrow!
Goodnite
:O)
mek
lol....
OH -
here's a question
Why can Obama be asked if he wears boxers or briefs? and Clinton not be asked if she wears a thong or granny panties??!!!
something else to ponder!!!
mek
I did not know that!
I sure hope not!
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Nite, Nite, cpgem - hope you don't lose sleep over today!!!
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You did the nobel thing
me me me
me me me
me me me
me me me
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