i am having writer's block, i have
always loved to write and when I
do the words just flow, which they should
i tried continuously to come up with a
blog for today other that the one you are about to
read, however i could not
i write what is on my mind, or how i am
feeling and the words are not strained
tonight i am thinking of my "aunt jo"
she is dying, a slow uncomfortable death
it is all i can think about, so i can't really
write about anything else, as the words
are just not there i can't force words
that i don't feel or mean
today hospice advised my cousin to
start making the funeral arrangements
she did what they advised her to do
and now she has everything
in place for the day we bury my aunt
we have to wait, watch and pray
that is comes quickly, i wish i could
be dr. kevorkian and just give her peace
as she is at war with her body,
her body is killing her, and she is trying
to stay alive, a constant struggle~~
death will win
i know every one of you have been thru
this, as i have before, watching death come
is the most brutal emotion one can go thru
that emotion is in full force
there was no possible way i could
have written anything other than
what you just read
there are no more words, as i have written
how i feel
i am just waiting, in limbo~~
271 comments:
1 – 200 of 271 Newer› Newest»FIRST
YES - I was posting away on yesterday!! and thought - OH, nobody is here!!!
Good morning!!!
CRAP - I should have read the blog first before I started celebrating a foolish thing this a.m.
Cpgem - I am so sorry!! I will say extra prayers today!!
We all need to be thankful for each and every day!!
I know I am thankful for all of you guys!!!
CPGEM: Reading your blog today just about broke my heart. I am so sorry. I know how you are feeling as I have been through this just too many times in the last few years. I offer you all the prayers I can, and the hugs to go with them.
Good morning MEK, I missed you!
mek
No, please celebrate "first", It is ok really. I don't want anyone to stop being fun...
This is life we can handle it, we will together...
I beg of you all to please play...
I need to laugh....
CPGEM: I brought back Hugh Grant..hope he makes you smile!
mek
Congrats on First! Did you have your wonderful breakfast!
Mo
I am hoping your day is starting off well! I am thinking about you!
Good Luck today! :O)
Zona
We have all been there it is ok, Lets celebrate Life as it should be cherished!
:O)
zona
If you give me Hugh, Tina will get a migraine. BTW have you seen her new default pic on ms, So funny!!!
Good morning,
This is such a sad topic, yet we all have had to deal with this.
I don't know what more to say than I understand, and I'm sorry you are going thru this.
Good Morning, ZOna and cpgem..
Yes, we did have the good breakfast this a.m., even got there for a fresh batch of "scrabbled" (that was for Joey) eggs!!! :-)
Why don't we remember the GOOD stuff about people that we are missing in life?? That will put smiles on our faces!!
What a great blog Carol. It is often hard to share raw emotion, and you did it beautifully.
My dad suffered a long time before death took him. Not cancer but the ravages of diabetes. I have always maintened and I still do- if he had ever asked me to call Dr. Kevorkian or assist him in ending his ending his pain, I would have in a heartbeat.
Good morning EBJ.
zona
All I can think about, is a has been Dorothy smoking a cig, with something that looks like a rat!
I am wondering if the cig was a after sex cig!
Her default pic brought a smile to my face last nite...So Funny
Listened to Michael Buble this morning driving to work. Love Him
mek
My thought exactly...
Good Morning, EBJ and Goldie...
Goldie - your dad and mine - bless them!! :-)
OH - I have wanted to tell ya'll (that was for Joey) this since Sunday..
Tina, Zona, IBB and all you NASCAR fans...
I was forced to watch the race on Sunday - can't believe Stewart got knocked out like that at the end -
AND - more importantly - I missed Tiger sinking a 20 foot putt to WIN and NOT go into a playoff!!!
AND - the most important thing - I still do NOT like NASCAR!!!! LOL..
thought I would share!!! :-)
Good morning hooters! Welcome back MEK (hugs) and congrats on #1 this morning.
I read all of the posts from yesterday and thanks everyone. From the topic of my blog to the break in at my office- the comments were appreciated. And hey I got qoute of the day too!!!!
I did laugh when I read someone's post that they hoped my night was better than my day. HA! It just got worse. Slipped on some dogshit and did a face plant in the front yard. My computer at home is back to not working mode :( and I am pretty sure that I am going to lose it with the damn insurance company. I went from violated, to weary to pissed (hence the asshole of a rhino comment) to exhausted and then back to pissed. What a day!
I am now done complaining. It has GOT to be a better day today!
JODI- if you ask Mr. Goldie I am not sure he would agree with you that even I could find Oregon! Ok, I know where Oregon is- but once I am there I will get lost.......
Joey- I will watch your video later, and am excited to see it!
Bear- I read the book. It was right after you told me the story- do you remember?
Ok, hope everyone has a good day-and I heart you all!!
to all
I struggled last nite with this blog, as I did not want to post it. I was worried about getting the nest all depressed. I truly could not think of anything else to write. After 2AM I just gave up and wrote...and the words flowed...
I am me, what I feel is open, I can't change that. The nest should not be fake, it should be what we are and what we feel..
I can change today's blog if you would like me to.
Just let me know..
Now...lets celebrate mek
scrambled eggs...YUMMO
Cpgem,
My heart goes out to you, Aunt Jo, and the rest of your family. I don't want to start a 'right to die' debate, but I honestly think we're more humane to our pets than we are people in that regard.
My grandma passed away about 10 years ago, and my grandpa remarried about 4 years ago. We found out a few days before Christmas that she has cancer, and it has spread to her bones. She too is suffering a slow and painful death, and it's heartbreaking to watch her going through it. It seems so unfair.
I'll be keeping Aunt Jo and all of you in my prayers. {{{{Hugs}}}}
cgpem - congrats on Number TWENTY..
and NO - do NOT change today's blog - This blog is about life and we must deal with the good, the bad, the sad, the happy...
as I stated - we can celebrate the GOOD times of our missing loved ones!!!
:-)
Cpgem - thank you for being YOU!!!
Goldie, I'm sorry but I laughed at slipping on dog poo.
I'm sure at the time it wasn't funny, but it sounded funny today.
Big hugs to everyone!
CPGEM: Life is not all lollipops and rainbows. There are bumps in the road and a hell of a lot of potholes. There is nothing wrong with your blog or posting your heart. We are here to love and support each other through good times and sad times. I think you should leave your blog it up.
If you changed it Carol, I would feel I'm at my mom's house.
They sweep everything under the rug and don't deal with anything.
No sweeping here!
Good Morning Dear Owls,
Carol that was a heartfelt yet painful blog.
I don't deal well with death as I have watched so many in my family go. Many suffering along the way.
I often wonder why we can end our furry family member suffering in a humane and caring way and yet when it is a human loved one we just have to bear it and watch. Seems so cruel to me. My heart hurts when I think about it.
Hi AMICUS! Morning ITEACH!
I agree with everyone Carol death is a part of the human experience and it just is.
Goldie: Sorry I had a chuckle over the slipping in the dog poop!
MEK: Glad to see you posting this a.m.!
I hope Dreama is OK those storms in Texas looked pretty bad!
Hi Zona, Amicus and Iteach!
Really can't wait to see the pics from Vig and Tinka after their lunch!
Mo: Wishing you a grand new work day!!
I have to hop in the shower here as I have the foodbank today! I will check back later as I need to connect with you Owls a couple of times a day to make me feel happy and centered! Bless you all!
LYNND: Have a good day today. Please don't say 'hop' and 'shower' in the same sentence. It reminds me of that **whispers** grasshopper.
DON'T change the blog!! Death and suffering are a part of life. We need to talk about it and support each other the same way we do when a new baby is born or as we bask in our achievements or those of our children. We are here to share-the good and the bad.
iteach- I was not amused at the time, however it is a bit funny today...
The nicest thing just happened! The CPA firm across the hall from us just came over with a box of donuts and a card hoping everyone's day goes better today!! They were robbed too- so I think that was so kind of them to think of all of us.
Carol
I hope your wait isn't too long.
((((((((HUGS))))))))
Good Morning Owls,
I'm sorry, Carol, about your Aunt, its so very hard to watch your loved ones go thru this. I had to watch my Grandfather suffer for 3 years, but when they put him on hospice is only lasted 10 days.
You have such a beautiful way with words expressing how you feel. Watching a loved one die is so very hard. I also seen my Aunt die a slow death. She was not on hospice, but a vent was keeping her alive and she was in and out of it, but we all got to say our good byes. I was not there when she passed, my mom and kids were there.
My father died of Lung Cancer at 62 He was very young to me. I never really got to know my dad, my grandfather and mother raised my sister and I, but when we got the phone call he had cancer in June of 2006, my sister, mother, and our kids and I, drove down there to say good bye, something Lisa and I had to do. We left on Sunday, he died on Tuesday. He couldn't talk. My kids met my father for the first time 3 days before he died. Then the next weekend we had to go back for the funeral.
I don't know how to word this, but, if you watch someone die, you can say goodbye and tell them how much you love them and share things (even if they are not awake) but you know they can hear you. But when someone dies suddenly, you don't have that kind of sharing. Thats why my grandmother always said, Never go to bed mad at your husband, kids, family members, etc. Always, treat everyone kindly because, you never know when you'll see them again. She did die suddenly. I was only 9. But my mother repeats those words to me and my children every day (I know I'm 42, but my mother always has to put her 2 cents in LOL)
Sorry for the book, I'm gonna see if I can't post what my son Anthony wrote for his class. He had to write a Challenge in his life. The teacher thought so much of it she posted it in the schools news paper.
Have a good day everyone,
Love to all,
I'm sorry, my mom and HER kids were there. Mine were 5,4 and 4 months at the time.
CP - for you - I changed my profile pic to give you a look at our Bouncing Birthday party -
YES - this 50 year old climbed the bouncy thing and slide down MANY times!!!
Enjoy!!
Did I read that there is another blog buddy meeting happening today? Isn't this wonderful??!! Can't wait to hear about it...
We are getting ready to hit the road...
I'll let everyone know when we arrive safely!!!
THIRTY-FIVE!!!
Goldie - i am SO sorry to hear that you stepped in dog shit - that is NEVER fun.....
love to all - I really am out of here!!!
:-)
This is my sons paper he wrote on a Challenger in hes life, hes only 12. I know I'm his mother, but I thought it was really good, for being 12, being his mother I didn't realize the impact it had on him until I read it. It brought me to tears, it still does when I read it.
My Challenge in Pennsylvania
We were in Erie, Pennsylvania because our Grandpa Dalton was dying. So my mom, Auntie Lisa, my grandmother and my cousins all went down there for the weekend. My cousins and I were a little scared and nervous because this was the first time we were going to meet my Grandpa Dalton. We also met my Uncle Mike and his family and my Aunt Michele and her family. We really didn’t say to much to each other. My mother took my brothers and I into the bedroom to meet my Grandpa. My Grandpa did not look good, the only thing we said to each other was hello. He could not talk by the time we got there. This was hard for me because I thought he would have said more.
We had to leave Pennsylvania because the weekend came to an end and it was time to come back home to Michigan. Two days later we got a phone call from my Uncle Mike. He was crying. He told my mom, “Dad just died”. We had to get ready to go back to Pennsylvania that weekend. We left for Pennsylvania on Thursday. This time my Mom, Dad, my brothers and I went and My Auntie Lisa and her family. We took separate cars there this time.
When we got to Pennsylvania we settled into the hotel room, got something to eat, and went to bed. The next afternoon we went to the Funeral Home, I was very nervous. When we walked into the Funeral Home, we saw my Uncle Mike and his family and my Aunt Michele and her family. My Mom and Dad took my brothers and I to pay respect to my Grandpa Dalton. It was sad, because I knew I would never really get to know him.
My brothers and I sat down and saw our other 11 cousins. My Uncle Mike has 5 kids and my Aunt Michele has 6 kids. We didn’t really know them, because we just met them the weekend before, so we didn’t know what to say to each other, so we played our Nintendo DS. When we were playing our Nintendo DS, my cousins came to us and that sort of made things more comfortable. We started talking and joking around, like we knew each other for a long time. It was very strange. We spent the whole day together and almost all of the following day together.
That’s a challenge I faced meeting my Grandpa Dalton and other family members for the first time at a very hard time in life, a death. Not all of it was bad though, it brought our families together. In a way I am happy that my Grandpa Dalton died because I have a huge family now, and met my cousins. Then, in a way, I’m sad, it was a bitter sweet moment. I just wish my Grandpa Dalton could have found another way to get the family together other than dying.
Carol - please don't change the blog - you all shared my pain when Checkers died, and MEK is right - life is pain and laughter (sometimes at the same time). I'm so sorry for your pain and believe me, I know what that is like. Last year I watched my beloved father-in-law slowly slip away and now I watch my Mom every day leave me a little at a time. It honestly makes you more grateful for life. I am praying for you and for you lovely Aunt Jo.
Sorry about your bad day yesterday Goldie - slipping in dog shit is never a good way to end a day! Hope today is better for you (and the assless rhino)
Goldie: Yes, I do remember that! Wahb's story (Biography of a Grizzly) is on the internet, for anyone else who's interested.
Carol: Big Bear Hugs to you!
Your excellent post brings up what is, to me, a Conundrum with a Capitol C.
If the end game of life is to pass on to a different and much better form of existence, free of pain and suffering, why should assisted suicide be illegal?
Why is assisted suicide a crime (and in Catholicism, a sin) instead of an act that is encouraged, encouraged simply because it releases the soul from its earthly bonds and tribulations and suffering, and sends it on to that better existence?
Carol,
Thank you for sharing with us. (Darn, I can't stay long, as I am due in iteach's room to help...be there in a sec. iteach)!
Anyway, I agree with everyone! DON'T change this! It is nice to feel we can come here and discuss things that are on our minds and hearts!
I haven't had a chance to read everyone's comments (skimmed quickly). Has anyone told your aunt that it is ok to let go? (Sometimes when someone is dying they need to know it's ok to die).
I am sending you the biggest hugs and you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers...
gotta go...I'm late!
Hi Whabby - long time, no see - how did the appointment go? You bring up a good point about assisted suicide. I was brought up Catholic and I have to admit that it is ingrained in my mind that it is wrong (there is a huge case right now in Canada of a Saskatchewan farmer who was convicted of murder to killing his severely disabled daughter) - but I look at my mother and know how she would feel about her life if she was even slightly aware of it. If we do have a soul - where is hers now? What happens to the essence of the person when they are trapped in their mind or pain-filled body?
Ok, that hurt my brain ... I think I'll have some of that breakfast now.
Vig: WIth Tink being sick does this mean lunch is off :(???
CG: I live in Michigan where Dr. Kevorkian did all them assisted sucides, I'm catholic, but if you can put an animal to sleep, why not a human??? Let them die with dignity. I never agreed with them putting Dr. Kevorkian in jail. But since he got out of jail he sure is quiet now.
Good morning...
MEK-- congrats on #1...
Am waving a wing to everyone...
Goldie-- hope your day is much better...
VIG and Tinka--- have a wonderful lunch... we want pictures..
Mo--- congrats and good wishes on your first day... ( if you like it .. I hope temp turns to perm)
CPGEM--- what a powerful post...
you all know I lost one of my best friends in January,to a four year battle with cancer.. I did get to let her know how much she meant to me... our last words to each other were.."I love you"...
this gives me comfort , but I still really miss her...at the same time my other best friend started her battle with cancer... this very difficult time in my life.. MEK invited me into the nest...
You all helped me soooo much... you can feel the love...
So carol--- sending love and hugs to you and Aunt Jo...
I agree with Amicus... we are more humane to our pets.... I wish assisted suicide were legal...
when my father was in the nursing home.in Colo. and I was in Va.. I used my vacation every year to go to Colo.( he was in a nursing home for 8 years... ) he asked me one year to end it all for him... I was stunned shocked that he would say anything like that to me... ( after our more than rocky hidtory).. I didn't know what to do... I told I couldn't do that ...
my father was a very proud man... he only had one tattoo and it meant ---death before dishonor--
he had been dishonored being in a nursing home... the next time I was schuduled to come home I thought we would talk more about it ... I had thought about it for a year... so I was ready to help him if I could... I was coming home for Christmas..
Thank goodness the good Lord took it out of my hands and ...My father died right before Thanksgiving... but I still feel that it was just more thing I disappointed him about... I could never do anything right in his eyes..
MEK-- I am sorry...This is the first time I have ever talked about this to anyone...
I have this written and am really worried about hitting publish!!
O.K.... here goes..
I just woke up (yay for sleeping in during one's vacation!!!!!)and read here and on Myspace that poor Tinka is not feeling well. She has a really bad cold and she is staying in bed today, where she should be (Tink if you are reading this...hi sweet lady.. now back to bed with you!)so she can feel better soon. Lunch is canceled today of course then and I am feeling a little sorry for myself because I was looking forward to meeting such a special person....but totally understand snd feel badly for Tinka that she feels so poorly. We definitely will be rebooking it as soon as she feels up to it. Healing hugs and thoughts to you, Tinka!
mornign VIG--- sorry Tinka is not feeling well... and that you have to POSTPONE... not cancel...
Good morning Owls.
Carol: It is so difficult to have to watch someone suffer and I pray that your Aunt finds peace soon. I agree with Jennifer about giving permission to someone to let go. A neighbor of mine was in the same position with her Mother and the hospice nurse told her she needed to giver her Mother permission to die. As hard as it was for her, she did tell her Mom it was OK and she died 2 hours later. Of course she doesn't know if that was the reason, but it did give my neighbor some comfort.
And do not change the blog. This is a place where we can pour out our heart and it is OK. We all want to be here to support you. Your Aunt and your family will be in my prayers.
Whabby,
I agree! It's legal in Oregon, which is where my mom lives, and the Supreme Court upheld it. Other states might eventually pass similar laws.
Mek: congrats on #1. Sliding down the bouncy thing looks like a lot of fun. Safe travels today.
Mo: Good luck on your first day at work.
Goldie: I hopetoday is a better day for you.
Shout out to Zonz, EBJ, iteach, Lynn D, Shirley, Renee, CG, Bear, and Jennifer.
CPGEM-- It is true... you have to tell them it is O.K. to go... or from my experience in ICU... they are waiting to see one last person... someone close that they haven't seen for a little while..
IBB: My mom had been in a coma for almost a month. Even if she did emerge from it, she would have been severely debilitated. My sister and I were going in to visit her, when the doctor called. He said it 'was time' to come and disconnect the respirator..she had suffered long enough. I called our family doctor to see what would happen if I did this. Would she feel pain etc. He explained things to me and I hung up the phone with tears running down my face. I was raised Catholic and we were always taught that 'unplugging' someone was a sin. I looked up and said to God "This is not my job..it's Yours...". I got a phone call less than five minutes later, my mom had passed away with the priest in the room. To this day I don't know if I could have ever done what the doctor suggested.
Hi IBB and the Notorious VIG.
Tinka, if you are reding, feel better soon.
ZONA--
thanks...
Going to lay down now..waving hi to SHIRLEY, RENEE EVE, CG, WHABBEAR, JENNIFER, the lovely SACBARB and the very, very NOTORIOUS VIG.
Sorry to hear that your lunch was cancelled VIG.
Get well soon TINKA.
IBB: {{HUGS}} big time.
What a beautiful Blog you wrote Carol, and I could certainly tell how very hard it was for you to write it, let alone post it.
I find writing down my thoughts to be cathartic and healing. I sometimes just throw the pages away after I write them, but at least I got my feelings out.
I went through a similar circumstance with my father who passed away 11 years ago. Although the big difference betweeen you and I is that is that he was resposible for his own deteriorating condition, alcoholism, drug use, you name it, he did it. I am sure he suffered from depression after my Mother died so young, she was 28, he was 27, I was 6. Back then in the
50's, very little help was around for depression.
Even though he was not a good father, I still loved him, and finally forgave him for all the crap he put me through throughout my childhood and especially into my adulthood after my husband died.
But, when the the time finally came, and he was on his deathbed, things changed.
He was in and out of consciousness, and even though he knew I was there, I could tell he was struggling against death also.
He was on DNR, and I had a wonderful male nurse, come in shave him, bathe him, and he looked much better.
I took his hand, rubbed his face, and told him it was OK to let go, be in peace, go be with Mama and not to worry about me or his grandchildren. It took awhile, but eventually after an hour or so, I could feel the tenseness leave his body, and within a few minutes he was gone.
You really have to understand how very hard this was for me, because I truly hated this man for a long period of my life. He was never there for me when I needed him, my Uncle Jim was. And it was amazing how easy true forgiveness came that night. I was finally able to understand his weaknesses, his failings and that he too was so very sorry for failing me as a father.
I am sorry for taking up so much Blog room, but your comments just made me think about it. Thank you all for your patience.
~~Renee Eve~~ Your sons paper on Challenges was one of the most beautiful and honest essays I have ever read. What an amazing young man he is. I can certainly understand how proud you must be of him. And it is so good that he was able to meet up with some of his cousins.
~~Whabbear~~ Very well said, regarding assisted death. I agree 100 per cent!
This wasn't a depressing Blog. It was an honest Blog, an issue that yes, we all must go through one way or another.
Zonababy was so correct when she said life is not all lollipops and rainbows. We have our bright beautiful sunny days, and our cloudy, gray days. Each one brings with it its own goodness.
Peace to everyone, DonnaJean
Good morning,
Cpgem, I appreciate your blog, and it shows the love, comfort, support and trust we all find in your nest. Please don't change it.
Goldie, what a day you had yesterday, and the dog shit was like putting a cherry on the top for good measure. it sounds like today is going to be a better day for you, though.
Renee, your son expresses himself very well, I know you're very proud.
Mek, safe travels! It's always fun to go visiting and taking trips, but as 'Dorothy' said..."There's no place like home." I can't believe you drove in the horrible weather we had here yesterday. Be careful out there.
Hope Mo. is enjoying her first day at work. Can you imagine her new co-workers, when her beautiful sense of humor surfaces. They are going to just love her. She'll never have to eat lunch alone. lol
God love her, she's going to be one tired puppy when she gets home tonight.
IBB, I'm sure your Dad knows how much you love him and the very difficult position you were put in. It's always so hard, in one way or another, for the family left behind.
Waving Hi, to my little Hooting frieds that are roosting above my post.
Amicus, I so agree with you and Goldie, and others about assisted death. It does seem we help our pets pass more readily than we are allowed to do with our loved ones. These things were asked of me and all I could do was to hold her tighter and tell her it would be over soon, and I'd be there later to join her. This was my mother begging me on the last day of her life. It still hurts and if I could have helped her, I would have.
Carol, I'm holding you and your Aunt Jo in my prayers hoping she will go home soon to a painfree eternal life.
I'm so sorry for another long post. i really can't help myself....
~~Smiles~~for a good day to each and everyone.
xoxo
Ronnie
Donnajean,
I agree with you about putting my thought in writing, sometimes throwing them away.
I remember my DIL ones hurt me to the bone and I came home and wrote many pages for her to read after I was no longer here. It did me a world of good...and then I threw them away. I would never want to let her know how deeply she had hurt me and to have to carry that with her the rest of her life. It would have been like me reaching up from the grave and slapping her in the face.
Many times, I just open my heart in writing and then toss my "thoughts", so I don't hurt anyone.
Howdy doody! (little play on the dogsh*t problem from yesterday...)
Anyway, my day is going great compared to yesterday. I haven't been hit by a bus or anything! :)
I am home for lunch and my computer is working too!
Sounds like a lot of us agree about letting people pass with the same compassion we show our animals. I am happy so many are sharing their personal views and experiences.
HOdi- Our weather sounds like crap for Friday- frigging snow- can you believe it!?!
Owls,
Sorry I've been flying in and out quickly this morning. It's a busy day at work.
Just wanted to wave Hi to everyone! :)
The stories today are heartbreaking and sad and beautiful. Thank you all for sharing such lovely stories of love. I was with my mom, my dad and most recently, my brother as they passed over. The passing itself for all three was quite beautiful..but what led up to that was not...the pain they were all in..even drug-controlled was unbearable to watch and still haunts me. If I had have had a legal choice, which I don't have in Canada, to speed up the inevitable, I am not sure what I would have done, but seeing how much agonizing pain a person is in and not being able to do anything about it, is pure torture for everyone.
About the passing itself, I agree so much with what others have said about letting the person know it's okay for them to go. When my Dad was dying five years ago, at the end he was so sick and was hanging on so hard and we didn't know why. We let him know it was okay to let go. My brother, who is very intuitive and very spiritual felt it was about me. I was in a place of transition and flux at the time. And had just made the decision to go back to school and become a teacher. My Dad worried alot about me... as I am the youngest, the only girl, never married and he was never convinced that I could actually take care of myself as a single woman. My brother and I went in to the room with him. We held his hands and my brother said to him that he felt like my Dad wasn't leaving when he was in soooo much pain because he was worried about me. So my brother told him that I would be okay and that we would each have a part in that. So he had me tell him exactly what my plans were about doing my professional year to become a teacher - that I had a solid plan and it would (and did) happen. My brother told him that my Dad's part was that the money my Dad had put away for me (that I didn't know about) was going to my education and my brother said that his part would be to encourage and be supportive as I left everything behind and went back to school at such an old age! We let him know again that I would be fine and I would be a teacher and in a better position financially and career wise and that I was really excited about becoming a teacher. My Dad who was in a coma, visibly sighed a sigh that seemed of relief and a tear came down his cheek. Ten minutes later he died. In that, and in other experiences with other family members, I have learned how crucial it is to give "permission" to let go.
Sorry....once again I have written a novel. But once again it is cathartic...thank you for your patience if you have made it to the end of this very long post!
CAROL - Beautiful blog. I wouldn't change a thing about your blog. This is a compassionate place - and death really is part of life. I will be keeping you, your family, but especially your Aunt Jo in my thoughts and prayers. Hopefully she will find peace on her way "home".
GOLDIE - I'm quite sure you'll be able to find the place - it's only about a half mile from the Hwy 14 exit. You only have to go into Oregon about a block to get there. Sorry.....but I lol'd at you slipping on the doggy pie!!! Oh, well.......bring on the cocktails and brownies. :D
TINA - Thanks for keeping me company this morning as I was making coffee at work. sssshhhhhh.......big no no......i tried dodging the security cameras!!! ;)
DonnaJean and VEG: I had tears in my eyes reading both of your stories. It is a wonderful thing that we can express ourselves so freely in the nest. Bless both of you.
That should be VIG not VEG. I blame it on the tears.
Sacbarb...Thanks for your kind, kind words. And no worries...VEG is a perfect name...I am a vegetarian and today I have barely got off the couch and am VEGging out!
Carol
wonderful blog, heart wrenching and exactly what we went through with my favorite Aunt. My dear Aunt raised me after my birth because my Dad was away with the Air Force in Alaska and my Mom had a difficult pregnancy and wasn't well after my birth. My Aunt had cancer and she just laid there hooked up to machines and on morphine waiting to pass. She chose to die at home instead of the hospital. It was so hard for me to put on a brave smile every time I visited her. The last day I was to see her before flying back home I could not smile and I was so quiet. She told me to be strong and that she was content and was going to a better place to be with the Lord.
The past Holidays were brutal also. First my friend Steve got in touch with me and told me that his grandson had fallen into a swimming pool on the first day of vacation in Phoenix around Thanksgiving. Steve had just had a major operation and was losing his mind waiting to heal and go to his son and grandson.Steven III was only 18 months old. He was in a coma. The coma went on for a week.At the beginning the doctors had hope. After more tests the high hopes were fading. Steve is a highly religious man and he kept beleiving a miracle would take place. I was convinced of this because he was so convinced. When his grandpa was able to fly there then the machines were removed and the baby passed away a few hours later.
Near Christmas my best friend Michael was on his Harley and killed on his way to an eye surgeon appointment. I had just talked to him the day before and he was so excited with Christmas plans and seeing his two kids. When Michael's wife got in touch with me about his death I couldn't absorb it. I wouldn't let it absorb until the funeral arrangments were made and at that time I had to accept that he was gone. It has all been playing through my mind yesterday because that was the 3 month anniversary of his funeral. Each day gets better though.
Tinkatia
Get well soon. We love you!
xoxoxo
hello owls...
Just a quick fly by to tell Carol that I will be thinking of her and praying for her aunt.
I don't think I will read the comments today as I have a similar situation with my friend and am a bit raw, but I do want to wish anyone else who is dealing with this kind of thing comfort, peace, hugs and the knowledge that someone cares.
Awwww Carol!:( I am SO sorry to hear that...I will keep praying for her, you and the rest of your family!:)
It's raining cats and dogs here today! I just read area 51 that I had missed, and ROFLMAO@the "BOB" talk;)
Do I need to loan anyone some batteries?LMAO
I just got the most hilarious email..It was "Should I have children or dogs?" and it shows dogs chewing up entire sofas, kids getting into paint, etc.! I may try to make it a bulletin later;)
I'm off to clean, nap, and nap some more! LOL...I need 2 be rested before IDOL! Oh and Hell's Kitchen starts after IDOL on April 1st! WOOHOO! LOL..It's hard to watch him being so mean, but it's a guilty pleasure;)hehe
OH-and I don't think I told y'all!
SOUTH PACIFIC is starting on Broadway!OMG I am so excited..not that I'll have the money anytime soon, but eventually! LOL
I was in that musical in college and have seen several other versions of it including the t.v. movie with Glenn Close and Harry Connick, Jr.!
I can't wait!!!!!!!!:)
scirish..This month of March has a lot of anniversaries of deaths and b-days of deceased friends/family, so I feelya!
Truthfully I may have read 2-3 comments...I just don't know if I can do it right now!:(
Scirish--
Hugs coming to you...
Jhoey---Hey!!!
Oh my, all of these posts are so beautiful, I feel like SacBarb, tears are running down my face.
Thank you, Barb, my dear friend for the wonderful words.
It is so amazing to read each person's experience with being with their loved ones when they pass on.
Each one is so individual and unique, but in some spiritual or other way, very similar.
I think that is what life is like too. We are all so diverse. Women, men, gay, straight, skinny, not so skinny, happy, sad, black, white, Asian, Latin, you name it that's us. And in death it all seems to correlate as well.
Peace and Love to All, DonnaJean
Carol~ I'm so sorry about your Aunt~ I'll keep your entire family in my prayers~
I remember when i was little, my grandmother had a stroke. She was in a coma and sent to a convalescent home. My mom went to visit all the time....we all did. We talked to her but she just lay there motionless. My mom wanted her to wake up so bad! Then after about 9 months, my mom's attitude changed. She was at peace and told her mom that it was okay to go. Not until then did my grandmother pass away. I truly think they need to know that everyone they leave behind will be "okay"~
mek~ congrats on first....and I knew you watched the race....cuz you gave away the ending on myspace you goof!!!!~ :)~
zona~ you got me....your last comment from yesterday made me spit out my DP~ :)~
Hodi~ no dodging security cameras...next time...hang up on me! :|
goldie~ thanks for the picture of you in dog poop~ too funny~
Renee/Eve~ loved your son's essay...tell him I'd give him an A!~
Have a great day everyone...I'm off to work~
OH, how could I forget!!?
Just_Lin:perfect quote choice!
LMAO@Goldie..Congrats..I remember reading that and almost choking on my beverage! LOL
Hi IBHO, Tina, Jodi, Mek, Carol, amicus, renee, vig, zona, and anyone I missed and any future visitors! LOL
I did it really quick and random..Hello to all the OWLETTES!;) moist or not! ROFLMAO
(towlettes?haha)
OH NO!! Drama at the ANT colony!:(:(
Involves "heady" and "tahari"-2 colonists I like!:(
I guess I need to stop cheating on y'all and just come here exclusively!:)
UGH....Enough already! I am about to cut ties with the "other" blog also if things keep going the way they are!
Thanks Carol, sacbarb and all the wonderful people who make this a welcoming, fun and enchanted place!!:):)
Good afternoon gang!
I am home for a short period and then out on the run again.
I have read the posts and you all had me in tears. Something I have known all along is that there are wonderful people here! You can't tell me different.
Renee: You sons essay was so honest and loving. Amazing how fast they grow up.
Tinka and Vig: I am so disappointed for you both. Tinka please rest and get well. These colds can turn into so much worse!
MEK: I love that you were in the bouncy house! LMAO
I have to say the last few weeks at the foodbank have got me a litle down. We are starting to see so many new faces, but according to our politicians there is no recession. I wish they would come help feed these people who are just for the most part struggling to keep their head above water.
Ok I must get something done here at home.
Synchronicity strikes again. The banner headline of our paper today is "Assisted-Suicide Law Passes 10-year mark". If anyone wants more info on the subject, here's a link to the article:
www.registerguard.com/csp/cms/sites/dt.cms.support.viewStory.cls?cid=79958&sid=4&fid=1
I am proud to live in a state that, for ten years, has honored compassionate death with dignity, and is now embracing licensed domestic partnerships.
Carol, as you know, your blog today and the experience of so many others in response hits very close to home this week. I love you even more for entrusting us with raw and heartfelt words. While we all love a good laugh, I think it is the diversity of experience and opinions and an appreciation of the 'Circle of Life' warmth of our owl community that keep bringing us back to this wonderful place. Thank you so much for that.
Bono--
WOW...
these owls are pretty asvy people... we have the topics and then they are in the news..
Renee eve... I don't know how I missed it earlier ... but your sons essay was truly heart breaking, in a good way... and such insight at the ripe old age of 12...
I meant SAVY... Don't know what asvy means... maybe I made up a new word... lol...
IBB~~Indeed!
Ok I had to come back and read and now I have to comment.
Ibebold: I think an asvy is commonly known as butt clevage. Just sayin! LOL
Hi Bono! I would love to live in Oregon! The only thing that holds me back is the State income tax! Love the politics there tho!
Thank you for sharing today Carol and everyone else. It is sad, but like everyone has said, death is something that we all have to face sooner or later. I have been fortunate to have never had to watch a family member die from disease. I was too young when my Grandma died from cancer, and my Aunt who passed from it lived far from me so I did not see what she went through either. I have really only lost one person close to me, my brother, and he was taken from us by someone elses hand. So my heart goes out to all of you who are right now dealing with loved ones who are sick, or to you who lost someone.
I will be leaving again for the weekend. I will try to stop by tomorrow, but I will be busy most of the day getting the trailer ready for the beach! Can't wait to go! My son and his girlfriend are coming down from Seattle to go camping with us. I'm going to be a total dork and buy Easter eggs and candy and baskets and make them go around the campsite Sunday morning on an Easter Egg Hunt! They are both over 21! LOL! And they will totally do it and love every minute of it!
And MEK....Congrats on first! We celebrate regardless of the blog topic!
Congrats on QOTD goldie!
Bon'O....I just saw this from Area 51
BarbinWa~~Im with you. I get all excited at the thought of BlogBuddies lunching in 'Oregon'.
p.s. ~~ I think you should move to Walla Walla WA. Then, just like The View, we could have our own "BabaWaWa" :o)
Bon...I think it would end up being BabaWaWaWA!!! LOL!
Okey Dokey....gonna try to sneak in a march since no one is here!
here i go!!
88 my fave number!
lets see hmmmmm....who is gonna jump out????
so far just me!
91
92
93
94
95
96
97
98
99
100!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK....that was just sad.....
No one came out to play......
tear........
Carol Thank you for sharing your feelings with us and for creating this place where we can all be our true selves, monikers or not. I am sending loving thoughts to you and your aunt.
Goldie I'm sorry yesterday was such a rotten day for you. I have to admit to laughing about slipping in the dog shit, though. Your day sounded like something out of a sitcom.
Renee Eve I was so impressed with your son's essay. He really has a talent for expressing himself in his writing.
scirish Keeping you in my thoughts, too.
I want to thank all of you for sharing your experiences, emotions, and insights. It has been a very special blog today.
When I took my husband to the ER on 1/19/07 due to shortness of breath, we were joking and making light of things in our usual way. I never dreamed for an instant that he would never be home again.
They discovered he had fluid around his lungs so kept him overnight and scheduled surgery for the next morning in order to drain the fluid and have a look around. Once the procedure was done, the surgeon told his children and I that he was full of tumors and had 2 or 3 months left to live. I was in absolute shock. Even though he was 17 yrs older than me and had alot of medical procedures, he had always come out great and I guess I thought he always would.
A few weeks prior to this he had had a cancerous tumor removed from another are of his body. At that time they had done MRIs, cat scans, etc. because they were afraid there was cancer elsewhere. They especially worried about his lungs but couldn't find anything then. By the time I took him to the ER, he had already had radiation treatments and had started chemo. Because his resistance was down due to that, all us visitors had to sterilize our hands and wear latex gloves when we visited him. The Wednesday before his death he was the perkiest he had been since his operation. He was reading the paper, eating some, etc. The next two days I stayed home because I had a very red and swollen throat. We only talked on the phone and then when I went back on Saturday he had retreated way deep inside himself and was no longer there, really. I was still sick but the doctor said it didn't matter any more. All this time I had thought we would have a little bit of time left.
The next day each of his kids said goodby in their own way. After they were gone I stayed for a couple more hours. I considered laying in the bed next to him but didn't want to disturb him. Instead, I lowered the side rail so I could lay my arm atop the entire length of his and hold his hand. I sat that way sobbing for a couple of hours. I was still very sick and I told him I needed to leave but that I loved him and always would, that I would be okay and the kids would be okay, that there was nothing more the doctors could do for him and I didn't want him to suffer any more. One and 1/2 hours after I got home, the doctor called to say that he had passed away. It had only been 16 days since we had walked into the ER, joking. In some ways I think I am still in shock and it's been a little over one year.
still no one here.....
i am just completely pathetic.....
or just freaking bored!
Damn, didn't mean to be so long winded. Sorry.
Well....I was not completely alone. just_lin was writing while I was playing. Hugs lin....
i better find something to do here at work. later!
Oh, don't cry BabaWaWaWa (that in itself sounds like crying...waaaah waaah!) Congrats on a solo march. Just popped in to catch up over lunch. Going back to Ft. Stevens or where this time?
J/L~~Just saw your post above. You've certainly earned the joy I hope will be yours in just a few days now. ((Hugs))
Barb in WA - congrats on your LONELY march!! :-)
Just Lin - bless you!!!
Tina - I am SOOOO sorry about the race info - I know better, but I'm a rookie at NASCAR - BUT - I did NOT tell you WHO won!!!
Joey - it's about time!!! LOL
and IBB - He asked me TONS of times to end it for him (I never told anyone either), but I just ignored him - he was angry and hated laying in that bed dying!! what a waste of an intelligent human being!! SO - you did NOT upset me!!
I'm home safe and sound - need to to take a nap - I brought home a lovely sore, swollen throat and a stuffed up nose from TX.
Cpgem - any news yet?? love ya
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Survivor Fans
Just a reminder that Survivor is on tonight instead of tomorrow night.
See ya at Tribal Council! :)
MOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Are you home yet????
How was your first day?????
I've been thinking of you ALLLLLL Day!!!!
I so hope it was GREAT!!!!
HI Everyone!!!
Carol and Bono...(((((hugs))))
You both were on my mind today too!
Renee, glad you shared your sons'
writing.
Mek, Welcome Home!!
Zona, I think you would like Hope Floats. I've watched it about five times!
xoxox
Just heard from MoHO, and we should all hear something in about an hour!!!
I have words to express on the TOTD, but not the time at the moment, Ill be back later......
JUST LIN - Your story is just beautiful. Trying to type through the tears. You are beautiful on the inside and out!!! And so deserve some happiness - only 5 days!!!
MEK - Welcome home!! Thanks for taking on us on yet another great road trip!! I totally enjoyed your nightly blogs from the road. Thanks for sharing. :D
TINA - Hell no.......I will never hang up on you!!!
GOLDIE - I have to check the weather - more snow?!!? Oh, what the hell.....we're only 8 inches away from 100.....we might as well go for it!!
Hey TURTLE!!! You must have been typing when I was. Hope you're having a great Wednesday. :D
BARB/WA - lol @ your lonely march to 100!!! Have a great camping trip - you sound like my Mom - totally making Easter fun - even when we were adults!!!
LYNN D - I love your definition of asvy!!! LOL!! Butt cleavage?!!? You're cracking me up girlfriend.
Thanks for all the kind words today!
I am now ok with posting the blog today! Thanks to all the owls!
As vig or is it veg said it is good to put your feeling's in writing!
Aunt Jo is the same, when there is any news otherwise I will share!
JodiHo:
It's bearable....but it got better when I stopped for a Kens Haute Dog (chicago style vienna all beef hot dog) and a Pineapple Ice!! Yummers.
Joey:
Glad that 19 others thought along the same line as me...and yes it is sad how peeps act these days in person or on the net.
TinaHO: Did you book it?
mek
Is that you on the bouncy thingy?
It looks so fun!
JOEY - Waving a wing @ you!!! Glad you are finally coming to your senses - hang with us - you'll never be bored, bothered, or harrassed here!!! Oh, and if you have any extra batteries.....you can always send them my way!!! LOL!!
TURTLE - Pineapple ice?!!? Sounds devine!!! And you can't beat a Chicago Style Dog!!!
Hey Joey: There is no cheating. You can go wherever you like and still be welcome here...we just don't want to hear about any drama on other blogs. This has been deemed a NO DRAMA Zone!
Renee: Loved your son's essay.
Bon'O: Yay for Oregon. California should use Oregon for a role model.
MEK: Glad you made it home safely. Rest up so you don't get the crud again. Megadose with vitamin C.
goldie.....
i was wondering how the rhino ass was. i'm looking for something new to bbq when we go camping this weekend. you know how everything tastes better when you eat it outside over a campfire!
hey .....
i was comment number 1 2 3 !!!
Hey SACBARB!!! Hope you are having a good Wednesday afternoon. :D
Bon'O....
going to Nahalem State Park this time! But we may take the drive up the coast to go home so that we can stop by Ft Stevens!
JodiHO: If you ever make it here I will buy you your first Pineapple Ice! It is so yummers....
I want to apologize for mentioning "drama" on the other 2 blogs!:(
I feel bad, but know now that this is a DRAMA FREE ZONE!:)haha YIPEEEE!
Sincerely,
Joey, Josephine, Hoey, etc. etc. lmao
My Aunt Karen had MS. She had a DNR and spent the last week of her young life (she was only 41) in the hospital with double pneumonia. She had really had enough of the disease and had been in and out of the hospital countless times with pneumonia (thus the reason for the DNR). They kept her comfortable but she really wasn't "there" for the final 3-4 days. My other Aunts, my Mom, and I kept her company......singing to her, telling her jokes, retelling tales from when they grew up, and finally my Mom told her to just follow the light and "go home". Within 10 minutes she was gone, but I truly believe that she needed to hear that. I also believe that the time we spent with her was the most precious gift we could have given her, too. This was the only person that I really had to watch deteriorate like that. When my brother and mother died - they were both very sudden - and very unexpected. I'm not sure which one is easier. All I know is that life is precious and I'm glad that I didn't have any unresolved issues with either of them. I couldn't imagine living with that. I was fortunate enough to talk to my brother the night before his accident and the last thing that I told him was that I loved him. I also had visited my Mom the day before she died - and the last thing I told her was that I loved her and gave her a big hug!!! I guess what I'm trying to say is tell those around you that you love them everyday......you never know if it will be the last chance you will have to do it. Thanks for letting me share this with you. You guys are the best - AND I LOVE YOU ALL.
Sorry.....
I wanted to comment more, however I am at work and got sidetracked.
I will finish when I get home.
Hodi~ i love you too~
kgrl~ not yet~
Joey never feel bad.
I'm not part of any of the drama, but I looked it all up after you mentioned it.
It was like watching a soap opera.
Interesting to me, because I'm a nosey butt.
However, hard on you. I'm so sorry you are in the middle of it all.
Jodi, I love you too!
BAAAHAAAHAAA- The rhino was raw when I chewed it- let me know how it is bbq'd!!
I am happy any or all of you were smiling and spitting about my dogshit experience. It was the topper of the day! It is funny today- yesterday not so much.
Survivor is on- talk to you later!
Jodi I love you, too. Thank you very much for sharing that. I know this has been a rough today on the blog but rewarding, too. I had to take a break after writing because it is still very emotional.
Carol Thank you again for giving us this opportunity to share our feelings with each other. I love you, too, and all of the wonderful people here.
HEY GUYS!!!
CAROL...I am glad you didn't change a word of your blog. You wrote from your heart and the fact that you shared that with us makes me even more proud to call you my friend.
I think about your Aunt Jo a lot. I wish her a peaceful passing to heaven and eternal beauty and to never feel pain again. As much as it sux, death is a part of life...and we have to accept that, as much as it hurts.
I spent the last night of my mom's life at her side in the nursing home. I told her many times that night that even though I, and all her family, would miss her forever, it was ok to let go. To go and be with her beloved husband (my dad) and her brother and sister and her niece that had passed a couple of years prior. At 7 am, I told her I was going to leave and go home and shower, stop at work and be back at 11 am. I returned at 11, but she passed away about 15 minutes before I got there. I believe in my heart it was her last act as a loving parent to save me from having to see her take her last breath. I didn't really say good-bye, but I did have a chance that night to tell her I loved her.
I know Aunt Jo knows how much you love her. And I am betting she loves you every bit as much.
{{{{hugs}}}} to you and your family.
I have read all the posts. The raw emotion that was expressed is so amazing. Most if us have never met...or even spoken to each other on the phone...yet we care enough about each other to feel safe enough to share those feelings.
CAROL...thanks again for creating this haven.
This is the last one for now!!
I completed my first day of this job. so far, so good!
Yes, I am tired from getting up early! But it is a good tired!
Around 10:30 I was given my first assignment and told it would keep me busy the rest of the day. By 1:30 I was done with it! After lunch I was given a new assignment and worked on that until I was told to leave...it was 6 pm already! The day went really fast. And from 9:15 until 6:15 I only had 1 ciggie!! And no headache from nicotine withdrawl!
My boss told me at the end of the day, that I should slow down, since I will become bored...will run out of daily work too fast! I will totally slow down...need to be sure the temp. position remains needed! She did tell me there are always perm positions that come up...so only time will tell. Tomorrow I am starting my day with a different department head, to learn insurance batch errors. I hope I remember what I learned today!
The people all seem really nice. It is a pretty laid back environment. Today was jeans day as a special event. And every Friday is jeans day.
Gonna catch up on emails, watch American Idol and then prepare my lunch for tomorrow!
Thank you to all of you for your well wishes! They mean a lot to me.
{{{hugs}}} to all!
MO - Congrats on a successful first day of work!!! Sounds like you need to slow down.....don't want to work yourself out of a job. LOL!!
I hope everyone has a good night. Getting to be my bedtime. Sweet dreams & ((((HUGS)))) to all my Owlettes (or as JOEY would say.....Towlettes!!! :D)
Jodi - my father had MS - it is NOT a disease I would wish on anyone..
MO - congrats on the new job and a double congrats for having a great FIRST day!!
:-)
MEK - So sad.....Aunt Karen was in a nursing home by the time she was 35. Totally sucked watching a once vibrant, fun loving woman deteriorate that way. She not only had to deal with her MS, but also a pig of a husband that wouldn't take care of her. She tried committing suicide because of that ass.....thankfully she wasn't successful, but she really did suffer for a long time after that. I know she is in a much better place......a whole person again. ((((HUGS)))) to you tonight.
Mo!!! So Happy you had a good day!
Thank's for letting us know how it went.
*
When my MIL became ill, it was because of a stroke. But if not for that stroke, we would not have known her bladder cancer had returned. We think she knew about it and hid it from us. She was alway's asking question's regarding another family member's battle with cancer. It seemed a bit odd, because she never did that before. The cancer had spread through her whole body. She recovered a little bit from the stroke, but not much. We cared for her at home. After a little over a month she had a second stroke. She was in a coma. She was like this for day's. One day, before we got to the hospital, (we were getting ready to go there) I suddenly told Mr. birdee that we needed to hurry up! He sort of wondered why I was in a panic. Just then his brother called and said for us to hurry! I drove us there as fast as I could. We walked in and Mr. birdee went over to his mom and said I'm here, I love you, It's ok...Two second's later she took her last breathe. His Dad and brother told us she hung on until we got there. I knew she had. Luckily for her she did not suffer in her last day's! You could tell by her face. Although I believe she could hear us, She showed no sign of pain in her face.
She looked peaceful.
When I went to her home to pick out a outfit, I found a pretty blue one, with the tag's still on it. Like she had bought it, with her funeral in mind. Before the first stroke, she was showing my FIL how to do laundry and pay the bills. Honestly, we thought she was doing that, because she was just plain tired of "doing it all". In fact, she was making sure he could take care of himself.
She was a Special lady! I miss her!
xoxoxo
Just wanted to say, all your stories are so touching!♥♥
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you Carol♥♥
BIRDEE - Sounds like your MIL was an amazing woman.
ZONA - So glad you didn't have to make that decision. You're right...I think God heard your prayer. Peace 2 U my friend.
Ok.....now I really am off to bed. I'll see the late crew when I get up for work.
Jodi, Thank you!
I'm sorry you Aunt suffered so.
I too, think she is a whole person now, in a better place, and in your Heart!
(((((HUGS)))))
~~lin~~, I knew some of your story, but not all the details, and reading them, I just wish I could reach out now and give you a huge hug! You truly are a beautiful woman, inside as well as out, and deserve the very best. I hope that whatever is right for you, will happen. I love you, my friend.
~~Mo~~ Congrats!!! I wasn't sure what type of job you had landed, but it sounds like being the go-getter you are, you better slow down!! Just as long as you enjoy it, that all that matters. Good Luck in the future days there! I know they are just going to want to hire you in a permanent position!!!
~~Joey~~ Yea, drama like that is so unhealthy to be around. I tried Ant's Blog, and not to diss any one's Blog, I just couldn't "get into it". You are a wonderful, fun loving young man, who needs that kind of drama? Maybe a bit of a "Drag-Queen Drama" once in awhile wouldn't be too bad though!LOL!
Love you all lots, Peace, DonnaJean and Laurie Elizabeth
I just wanted to be sure that you all know that I came back and read all of your touching stories. I love this blog and I love that we can laugh and cry together and there are no negative responses no matter what the TOTD is.
150
Mek
so sorry to hear that all you brought back from Texas was a sore throat and a stuffy nose. That seems to happen to me a lot when I travel and go from dry climates, humid climates or colder climates.
tina is a lurking HO!!!! 8)
Joey
um Josephine? LOL. That's a side of you that I didn't know about. You are too funny! :0)
have I mentioned that I love that freaking kgrl too?
I know you wuv me.... I wuv u 2
8)
doesn't mean you're not a goof and a Ho tho~ :)~
WOW! I must say I am completely blown away and in awe of all of you! I am most impressed by the inner strength you all seem to have!
Carol, this has been a great blog. It has been very emotional, but it really helps us to see strength and inspiration so many have!
All of your stories were very touching. I feel so proud to be part of this group of wonderful people! Thanks iteach for introducing me to this place, and that you everyone for allowing me to share in your lives!
I feel blessed to know each and every one of you!
I also think this has been an inspirational blog for those of us to celebrate Easter!
I really need to go to bed. (I feel asleep reading my "exciting" text book)! Made it to chapter 3! YAWN!
I think I have a cure for insomnia!
Good night all! Hope to find some time to stop in tomorrow!
....sorry about the type-o's! I meant to say "THANK" you everyone...
You are all so great! : )
jennifer - this really IS a great place to be!! Good night..
Hey MEK---
JEnnifer... What's up....????
went to dinner at my in-laws tonight... on teh way home I went by freinds house... she had had her last Chemo treatment on friday... it wiped her out a little more than the others had.... she showed me her bald..( oh she doesn;t like that word)UMMM hairless head tonight for the first time... she and I both needed hugs today....
she starts radiaton in 2 weeks...
half way there...
thank you everyone for your kind words today...
4 years ago when my lost his battle with cancer.. I was with him for his last breath... it was a very difficult thing...
Hey IBB - I'm watching Idol even though I got the spoiler!! :-)
IBB - you left out UNCLE!!!
When my UNCLE lost his battle... kinda key word to leave out!@!!
she was with our UNCLE when he took his last breath...
IBB and MEK~ was it your UNCLE? :)~
I need to go upload some fun pics from my trip - my family really does NOT like me and my camera!!
anyway -
1-69~
LOL - Tina - i was just going to say -
Hey - do you think they understood that it was our Uncle!! :-)
Tina - I missed you!!
Oh - Ryan did NOT just say what he said about Kelly Pickler - I won't spoil - but it was RUDE!!!!
what is it with you guys and all your 69's..????...LOL...
Goodnight to those of you leaving.
MEK~ So glad you made it home safely.Your slide picture makes you look like a happy little girl. Little girl...take care of yourself!!
ReneEve~ Loved your Son's insightful essay.
Goldie~ Let's hope you "doo doo" days are over!
Barb~ I always make Easter baskets for my grown children, Hubby and Grandchildren. I swear the adults get the biggest kick out of it!
JustLynn~I too knew a little about your Hubby's health problems. I am glad you shared with us more of what you went through. It just makes me adore all of you more! I feel like I have a whole new bunch of sisters and brothers. Until I met all of you I kept most of my inner thoughts to myself. It is a good feeling knowing I have so many of you here in good times and bad.
{{{Group Hug}}}
Carol, see what you have created with this blog? You did right by confiding in all of us. We are all better for it. You helped many of us open up and embrace our many memories.
You are a sweet lady, thanks for sharing your feelings today.You are my inspiration.
When my Father was close to dying the Drs asked us how we felt about not putting him on a respirator. We all looked at each other and couldn't answer. It was a decision
non of us wanted to make. We were then told that Dad had requested verbally to him that no heroic measures were to be taken. We chose to honor his decision. It took the feeling of guilt away from all of us. All 7 of us sang to him and finally told him it was alright to go. We watch as he died peacefully.
He has been gone 14 yrs in Jan.
Mom has been gone 24 yrs. Her Birthday was May 24. She died May 10 just before Mother's day. They have both left me with wonderful memories.
MEK and IBB I take it that was your UNCLE you were talking about?
Hi..Mary/mi...
Mary - howdy!!!
Hey --- Just Lin - how many days before you get creamed with custard??!! :-)
Just_lin... do you think it was our uncle...
MEK-- I can't believe you just said that!!!
MEK-- what did ryan say about Kellie.... I must have missed taht... please send it to me via e-mail..or my space...
IBB~ Hi, I forgot to tell you how bad I felt about what you have been going through with your friend. She is lucky to have you! LOL at MEK correcting her sis.
MEK ,did I read right, did you say Tiger did NOT make the finals?
Just Lin - I just "willed" you in here!!!
I noticed that she left a word out and we posted all those in the same minute - maybe i should delete one of them!! LOL...
what I will add to that - is that my administrator at the time would NOT let me take time off to get there before he died - the asshole said to me "people die, get over it"!! SO - that guy is why I chose to be unemployed - I gave my notice a week before my uncle died - hoping to get there before it happened - I didn't make it.. but I did get to the funeral - we have this terrible joke in my family - the only time we are ALL together is at weddings and funerals.....
mary mi .. thanks...
Just_lin...HUGS... for being numb... just over a year... that is hard!!!
Oh Jodi, Your post just brought me to tears, (all of the owls did), but happy/sentimental tears. You my dear have been thru so much at your young life. I do treasure each day I have my mother, trust me. As mean as it sounds its my sister thats gonna suffer GUILT big time, as she only calls her once every 9 days, her kids hardly, ever call her, but she is going to Easter dinner with the Prodigal Daughter, not the daughter that does everything for her and her kids too (that would be me, yes I am a bit bitter by it, but I will over come it thats how I am). The other thing that scares me is my sister in law has MS and its Chronic Progressive, shes been in a wheelchair for 15 years and she will be 38 this May, I know in my heart people with MS do not last much past their 40's. Thank you for sharing such beautiful stories about your family.
Birdee, my dear friend, I am so sorry about your MIL, I know sometimes they can be a PITA (pain in the ass), but all in all they did raise your husband, so they are not that bad. I also have a very good relationship with my in laws, took a while, but it did come. I think she loves me more that my hubby.
Joey, I want to say I'm sorry about what happened on ANTS blog, I did post in favor of tahari, she was so upset. I did get a response from her, I will post more later on here about tahari and ask you guys something, I want to continue reading so I don't forget. LOL CRS Syndrome I am 42.
Love yous
Mary - Tiger sank his 20 foot putt to WIN- so it didn't have to go into a playoff - he WON !!!!!!
TIGER WINS AGAIN!!!
Ibb - what??!! LOL
MEK LOL @ creamed with custard! I leave on Sat. morning and he meets me there on Monday.
IBB It's just a feeling I have, but I think you were talkinga bout your uncle.
where is CPGEM with her check list...
come on now!!!
did every one leave!!!
IBB - you have mail -
Just Lin - :-) - sorry, i couldn't help it!!
190
MEK I see.. I misunderstood when you wrote that he wouldn't be doing the play offs. Good for him!!
oh trying to distract me eh...
IBB - I am distracting you with email about Idol!! LOL..
march
lets go...
LEft
200
Move out of the way!!!!!
woooo hoooooo....
HAPPY DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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