some laughter, it is from
nowmercy
as lovey always says
"laughter is good for the soul"
Laughter
by now mercy
Humor, laughter, jokes, funny stuff. All of this is so good for our well being. It is now well documented that laughing gives the body a boost of cells that kill cancer and create a stronger immune response. Laughter, from a medical anthropological view, is a signal to others that “it is safe” or “ the coast is clear”. It stops the flight or fight chemical cascade in the body and nervous system. I love to laugh. I love to make others laugh. I love the look in people’s faces when they are about to crack up big time. I love to chuckle out loud when I’m by myself. I love jokes that take a sudden turn in another direction and are surprisingly funny.
How about you all? What are your favorite jokes? What makes you laugh hardest? Do you like physical humor? Who are your favorite comedians? Funny movies? Lets get each other's laughing and provide some new joke material for each other.
Here is a joke to get us started, given the topic a few days ago, please share any and all jokes.. well, you know.
Two men are waiting at the gates of heaven and strike up a conversation.
"How'd you die?" the first man asks the second.
"I froze to death," says the second.
"That's awful," says the first man. "How does it feel to freeze to death?"
"It's very uncomfortable at first," says the second man. "You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you, how did you die?""I had a heart attack," says the first man. "You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly but found her alone watching television. I ran around the house looking for her lover but could find no one. As I ran up the stairs to the attic, I had a massive heart attack and died."
The second man shakes his head. "That's so ironic," he says.
"What do you mean?" asks the first man.
"If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still be alive."
350 comments:
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SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
I logged in just in time for 200!!!
Okay barbwa
you are not funny
CONGRATULATIONS..
**hangs head in shame**
sawwy nowmercy......
i'm headed home now.
when i come back to i have to go to the naughty mat???
Glynis~~Funny link. Thanks, and keep gettin' better!
My favorite Capitol Steps 'Dirty Lies' or "Lirty Dies"------click on the MP3 to listen while you read............. put the 'http://' in front of:
www.capsteps.com/lirty/harispilton.html
Congrats, Barb in WA - great march!!!
I am wondering if MY new pics showed up as added to myspace - I put some new scrapbook things up for MO to see - if it didn't "alarm" everyone - they are there!!!!!!!
Nothing on - so I'm going to "do my grandmother proud" and watch the Royal Family thing on ABC..
Then, Medium is new tonight!!
Amicus, I knew you'd figure it out. It now show's Tink has added new picture!!
Mek yes they showed up and omg, they are BEAUTIFUL!!
Thanks, Lovey!!
appreciate that!!
and thank you!! :-)
WTG BarbWa!! Hehe, I missed another march. I was watching REBA
yw Mek, you do gorgeous work. I loved that paper too.
Barbwa..all is forgiven you big softie with hard shoes you
Now mercies dd here
so there is this older guy in the waiting room the doctor calls him into his office and asked what the problem was , the guy says:
Well i have this horrible silent gas problem. See it just happened
the doctor says well i can help you with the gas problem but first let me check your hearing!
hahahhahahhaha
FOR: TINK from dd of nowmercy
why was 6 afraid of 7?
because seven 8 9
Cuz, 7 ate 9..
ha ha ha
Lmao Nowmercy's DD
haha 7 ate 9
almost JINX Mek
MEK...hahaha
DD is practicing violin now so gotta go..I'll tell her you responded.
FUN day huh? Did you see the joke I dedicated to you?
nowmercy - yes, I did - at first - I thought, why would she dedicate a cheating joke to me - but then it turned to golf - so I got it!!!
almost jinx - you owe me a diet pepsi!!! :-)
hey - I was
222!!! gotta love that!!!
N/M's daughter's story reminded me of the one about the little old lady named Mildred who'd been having trouble hearing. She wore hearing aids, but had recently lost one of them.
Her dear friend Hazel came over for tea and got so frustrated with Mildred's sudden hearing loss, she decided to check her ears for wax.
"Well, Hell, Mildred" she said. "No wonder you can't hear! You've got a suppository in your right ear!!"
Mildred jumped up and ran (as fast as her little ol' legs would carry her) to the bathroom, shouting over her shoulder, "NOW I know where my hearing aid is!!!"
LMAO!!! BON!!!
After all the jokes today I can't believe no one has told this one...
Two "dumb" (don't want to offend anyone!) guys are in a diner. Across the room a woman starts choking and falls to the floor. One of the "dumb" guys jumps up, runs across the room, flips the woman over, lifts up her skirt, pulls down her undies and starts licking her butt. The woman screams and the piece of food flies out of her mouth.
The "dumb" guy walks back to his table, sits down and says....
"That hind lick maneuver works every time!"
It has been a fun day reading everyones jokes and stories, but I haven't completed one damn income tax return and I have 6 sitting here to do. So I think I will put myself to bed and get started on them in the morning.
I hope someone remembered to call the carpet cleaners to come in tomorrow and clean all the rugs. I have read about
numerous "accidents" happening today. Someone should give all the monitors and keyboards a good cleaning too. All the beverages people have been spitting out is going to make things messy and sticky.
It's been a blast. Thanks Mek for the reminder about Medium. I am taping it now and will watch it tomorrow. Good night everyone!
Hello everyone
Such fun today at the nest, I did not read all the comments today, I just skimmed. I will go back in a bit
nowmercy Great blog today, Laughter is so good, and as we see the owls hooted all day long..
Thanks nowmercy :O)
iteach So sorry about your Great Aunt Gloria.
maureen Thank you so much for calling me today, it was great talking with you. I can't wait to see the cards you made me for my business, I am very excited.
I might need another order for something else I will let you know!
So you think I sound "Jersey" well I guess I do, and I love it! :O)
mek I just saw all your photos on your myspace, wow they are all beautiful. Kudos to you!
vig Congrats on First
barbwa Congrats on 200
birdee Did you behave today?
I had a long day, I need some laughter, off to read the comments...
You little Owlettes are so very funny!!! Of course, I already knew that, but now I can go back and copy some jokes!
I am THE WORST JOKE TELLER IN THE WORLD!!
I do happen to think I am a genuinely funny person at heart. I can come up with silly one-liners at times, but when it comes to telling a joke FORGET IT!!! I blow the punch line, foreget the most important line, you name it, I screw it up!
Now, my Dad, he was just the opposite! He could have given Jack Benny, George Burns, Milton Berle, and Henny Youngman a run for their money! (you have to be of a certain age to know who those were!
Thank you Shirley for the cute joke about "cargo" I told it to my grandson and he just cracked up! (you had sent it to me before in an email!)
Well, I am off to finish dinner (I know a bit late) for Miss Laurie, so I will check back in later for some more humor!!!
We all so need humor in our lives. It gives us a break from our tedious lives, and as some of you have pointed out, it is actually GOOD for our our health. Not just our Mental Health, but our physical health too! That is why they have clowns come into Children's Hospitals! (but, personally, clowns SCARE me!) They are kinda creepy!!!
Back soon, Love ya, DonnaJean
ha ha...
230
Now, THAT makes me laugh!!!
:-)
Hello OWLETTES!!!
I have been trying to get this joke posted for awhile now... My puter is soooo slow tonight...
but it is well worth wait...
I know I was 3rd in the nest today...
and then just vanished.. well work was busy .. the owner was there most of the day... imagine no playing at work... .No fair!!!
soo I am going to need tissuea and depends when I finish all these jokes...
so here is one of mine!!!
Hope it's not a repeat!!
Baked Beans -
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it
became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave
up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way
home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my
husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk
home.
On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was
more
than I could stand.
With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any
ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner
and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home, I made sure that I released ALL the gas.
Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and
exclaimed delightedly:
"Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight!"
He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.
I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold,
the telephone rang.
He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until
he returned and went to answer the call.
The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the
pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the
room I seized the opportunity,
shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.
It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck
running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
I took my napkin from my lap
and fanned the air around me vigorously.
Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The
stink was worse than cooked cabbage!!!
Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other
room, I went on like this for another few minutes.
The pleasure was indescribable.
When eventually the telephone farewells
signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few
more times with my napkin,
placed it on my lap and folded my
hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.
My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband
returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had
peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner
guests seated around the table chorused:
"Happy Birthday!"
I FAINTED
Amicus,
Myspace has been acting wonky but I did just see yours and Tinka's new photos.
signed,
Tom
You ladies are all so funny! I've been away today so have just now caught up on the blog.
nowmercy This was a wonderful idea.
VIG Congrats on being the early bird today.
Barbara in WA Congrats on sliding in at 200.
What's really funny to me is every episode of Fawlty Towers, no matter how many times I see them and the comedian Lewis Black. I also just love Ellen. Tim Conway and Harvey Korman are hysterial together.
It's funny that humor is the topic today because I was just telling Custard that one of the most suprising things to me, besides him contacting me after more than 40 yrs, is how funny he and I are together. God, we laugh. We get on a roll with something and just make it funnier and funnier. Sometimes we can't talk or type an email because we are laughing so hard. I think it's great.
I only remember 2 jokes; one requires hand gestures so I can't do it here and the other one is quite raunchy so I don't know if I should tell it here.
I've enjoyed everyone's contributions today. This has been alot of fun.
Holy cow... I read BONO's joke to my dd and instead of laughing she said "What?" and so I repeated the punch line, she repeated "what"?
You can see this coming?
I look up and she has her butt toward me and her face is so red from trying not to laugh at her very slooow Mom...
lmao twice... jeez, did BONO and she PLAN this??
OMFG IBB!!!!!!!
ROFLMFAOOOOOOOO n tootin too.
I just watched GH that I recorded earlier. Who is placing bets on Sam still being alive after going over the edge of the cliff today?
Just Lin, that is exactly how my hubby and I do..
Today he took the afternoon off work and we were killin ourselves laughin at the nest posts and banterin back n forth while reading.
Laughter is a BIG BIG part of our relationship too.
LOVEY and JUSTLIN..how wonderful that you all can laugh so hard together..
Dreama: Every time you all talk about GH I remember college days when we would all rush to someone's apartment with KFC and watch GH, Luke and Laura etc.. here we were, all Juniors, Seniors or Grad students, completely addICTED to the soap. I had so much fun with the group experience... oh, and Steffano, etc...
Thanks for the memories
IBB - that was funny - OMG - that sounds like something that would happen to ME!! LOL...
MEK LMAO I could see that really happening to someone.......... not me...but someone..LMAO
Lovey!!!
Glad you enjoyed it...
It is one of my favorites!!!
o.k. comediens... or comedy...
one of the funniest movies I have ever seen... " Ruthless People"... Must get it on DVD. do not watch on tv edited version...
also love ... Harvey Korman and Tim Conway...(Dad loved them so)..
i love comedy...
I am a clown....
I love to make people laugh...
and I have a really good robust laugh... If I am in a building and I laugh.... You know I am there!!!! in a good way!!!
IBB, sounds like my kinda laugh.. loud n right from the belly up n out..
LOVEY AND IBB
I love that kind of free head back laughing out loud.. so contagious. I am SO glad you laugh that way!!
Hey- Nowmercy--
MEK---
Just_lin---
Dreama---
Lovey--
How is everyone tonight..
I feel better than I have in 3 weeks...
I nee to read all of these jokes... I love jokes!!!
1)What does a fish say when he swims into a wall??
Dam!!!
2)How does a crazy person find their way trhough the woods???
They take the psycho path!!!!!
3)What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you???
Nacho cheese!!!
IBB BWWAAAAHAHAHAHAHA
Why do cows wear bells?
Their horns don't work
4)How do catch a unique rabbit??
Unique up on it !!!
5)How do catch a tame rabbit???
Tame way ,unique up on it!!!
knee slappers - LOL
250
holy shit! you owlettes are seriously funny!! i am laughing my ass off (wouldn't that be great if laughter really could decrease ass girth!!)
CAROL, it was fun talking to you today, too! You DO sound totally Joisey!! I will certainly CAWL you again!!!
MEK, I will venture over and take a look!
i am like an addict...can't stop refreshing the page!!
i LOVE you guys!!
Where is Ronnie today? I bet she has some zingers!!
O.K....
This blonde(nobody hit me)
but anyway this blonde is driving down the road and sees a guy sitting on the side of the road holding a bunny rabbit...
she pulls over and he tells her the bunny is dead....
she says " I can fix that"
she grabs a can out of her purse and sprays the rabitt with it .... well the rabbit jumps up, hops about 2 feet away, stops turns and waves...
then hops about 2 more feet and stops and turns and waves... then again ...
the man said " What is that stuff?".. The blonde hands the man the can and he read...
"Hare spray"
"Instantly Restores Dead Hare"
"Adds Permanent Wave"
Warning
ADULT HUMOR!!!
O.K.... What is the speed limit for sex????
68... cause at 69 you have to stop and eat!!!!!
OMG IBB...with that I should really go to sleep... Loved the build up/warning too
Burglar in house hears a voice say "Jesus is watching you" So he looks around but its dark so he can't see the source.. Agani, "Jesus is watching you" so the burglar shines his flashlight around and sees a parrot! So the burglar relaxes a bit and says "Whats Your name?"
The parrot answers, "Moses"
The burglar scoffs and says sarcastically "What the hell kind of people name their parrot Moses?"
To which the parrot replies, "The same people who named their rottwieler Jesus"
I also love:
Gilda Randner
Lilly Tomlin
Whoopi
Joy Behar (her one liners could make me pee my pants)
Edith Bunker
Tootsie
Inspector Gadget Two
The Dinner Guest
Guess Who's Coming for Dinner
the old Candid Camera
etc
nowmercy I loved your burglar joke. LMAO
Oh and
Johnny Carson
Dick Cavett
MASH
JustLin, great visual huh?
IBB~~Was that blonde driving down the road the one that drove all the way from New York to Orlando because she was so eager to see DisneyWorld?? You know, the one that got all the way there, then turned around and drove home disappointed and in tears....when her friends asked why, she said after all that driving, by the time she got almost there, the sign said "Disneyworld LEFT". (groan)
I forgot to chime in on the Craig Ferguson discussion. I LOVE Craig Ferguson. He is funny and attractive. Can't stand Conan O'Brien. I will hate it when he takes over The Tonight Show.
JUST LIN and BON'O...fyi...you are 4th and 5th in line to DO Craig, behind VIG, LYNN and Me!!
Maureen I'm still waiting to DO Custard. I'll worry about Craig later. LOL
LMAO ya'll just keep givin me laughs on top of laughs.
I'm exhausted, I must crawl into bed.
I love ya's!!!
Thank you so much for a wonderful fun day filled with laughter.
Night night and Happy dreams to all.
Love n Hugs xox
I am a Craig Ferguson fan too1!
Hi everyone! I just finished reading all your 3 panty liner jokes! What fun! I'm a lousy joke teller. Here is the best I can do...
> Did you know that in the human body there is a
>
>
> nerve that connects the eyeball to the anus?
>
> It is called the 'anal optic nerve'. It's
>
> responsible for giving people a 'shitty outlook' on life.
>
> If you don't believe it, pull a hair from your
>
> ass, and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye.
>
> Just thought you would want to know
Night Lovey!!
and, MO, I'm willing to wait. Craig just gets BETTER with time!
but Conan, yeeeuch. Can't bear him, and that's a good thing, because when I have tried to watch, I get seasick the way he moves into and away from the camera during his monologue.
awww... Gildaadner...
loveher...
I have the complete first and second season of Saturday Night Live...
Love that show in the early years!!!
O.K... i have read most of these jokes... I have heard a few of them before...
but...
Nowmercy...17 votes short!!!
SCirish--
Merry go round---Love it...And electric fence!!! OH MY!!!
Lovey--- Sympathy card... That could be me...
and I bet when they found Bob... he had a scale up his ass!!!
'Nite, Lovey!
Good Night LOVEY!!!!
Bono---
Disney world LEFT!!!!!
I don't know what the NBC execs were thinking. Well, yes I do. Conan seems to appeal to the college kids. You know, the really immature ones that are drinking alot of beer while they watch his show. I will never watch TTS again when he is the host. I usually watch Letterman anyway.
Lovey Sorry, I meant to say good night to you before I got on my high horse about the Conan thing. Sweet dreams.
I used to work Dialysis!!
One of my patients told me had been widowed 2 times...both tragic deaths...
I asked oh my how did they die!!??
He told me the first one had an allergic reaction to poisin mushrooms...
(WOW)
and I asked how did the 2nd wife die...
He told me Blunt force truama to the head!!!
I was like Oh My God!!!
And then he said... Yeah, She wouldn't eat the mushrooms!!!!!!!!!!
275
Just had too..
you guys are just cracking me up!!!
I LOVE it.......
we need Smitty doing his drum thing in the background..
AND, I am NOT a Conan fan either - I can't stand waiting him - TTS will go down the toilet when he takes over...
MEK--
Your cards and lay outs are so beautiful... you need to come teach me ... mine are soooo hokey!!!!
How about april or may!!????
I watch Letterman...
Sorry.. and don't like Conan...
When I think of Craig I see "Mimi" all over him...And that makes me laugh... i liked the Drew Carey show!!!
IBB - we'll see what we can work out!! :-)
280!!!! HA HA HA
Has anyone heard from K'Girl today?
was she successful in making it all the way??!!
Ronnie - those highways sound scary in Houston!!!
MEK--
Yea!!!!!!!!!!
MEK, your work is beautiful. You are so freaking talented.
I can't stand Conan either. I will prolly stop watching TTS, too when he takes it over.
ANAL OPTIC NERVE!!!!! bwahahaha!! MARYinMI that was hilarious!
MEK, I am instant messaging with K-Girl now. and yes, they arrived Alabama
Thanks everyone for your kind words - since I was brought up that everything had to be "PERFECT" - I never think that it's "good enough"!! :-)
So - your words mean EVERYTHING to me!!!
:-)
I hope everyone has an excellent Tuesday!!! :-)
I'm headed to bed - so I'll miss the march to 300!!
Thanks, MO - I can sleep better tonight!! :-)
tell her I said HI!!!
yeah RIGHT MEK, since when do you mss a march.. you sly champion you
Mary/mi...you snuck in here... I didn't see that before now... I love that ... How true ... It will bring a tear to your eye...
OMG!!!
MO.. good to know they are a okay
Waxing my wings
clipping my talons
are you ready!!!
lets go!!!!
HAVE MERCY!!!!
Nowmercy - I have a BIG day tomorrow... so - off to bed.
dogs are put to bed, and now it's my turn!!!
Hugs to all..
dropping any excess pellets that could slow me down
300
300
LEFT LEFT LEFT RIGHT LEFT!!!
LEFT LEFT LEFT RIGHT LEFT!!!
LEFT LEFT LEFT RIGHT LEFT!!!
300
300
Okay - I'll stay
:-)
whoot.. some body singed my wittle wings
See - I missed it messing with the dogs...
I see Tina was lurking!! LOL
congrats to IBB~
MEK~ all your cards and layouts were beautiful~
WOOOO HOOOO!!!
Happy Dance....
Sorry Nowmercy!!!
way to go, IBB...
Tina---You little sneak!!!
IBB way to BE
Hey Tina
Hey MEK
Nighters all
What a blast of a day...
Enjoy the night shift
Thanks, Tina and Mo and IBB and Lovey and Birdie and Mary and everyone else!!!!
Okay - seriously,,, gotta go to bed............
thanks MEK...I cant believ I won a march with the masters in the house... you and tina!!!! WOW!!!!
Good Night -- NowMercy!!!!
Sleep tight!!!
Good night MEK!!!!!!
Love you!!!
goodnight MEK and nowmercy~
IBB~ I haven't even read a thing today~ the hubby is "sick"...whatever!!! :)~
kaHOnugirl~ glad you got in okay~ You are way hotter than Misty~ :)~
K'girl just posted photos....hope she drops in to share a funny or two!
Ronnie??????? Yoo Hoo :o)
ok who is here??/
Tina--
There are some very funny posts to day... I laughed soooo hard!!
hey Bono!!!
K'grl... glad you are safely across the country..
i am too mentally tired to tell funny stories..lol. but ask tina i was sending some off the wall text messages earlier huh?
kaHOnugirl~ honey....that last one didn't make any sense~ but I laughed every time i hit send and then got your reply! no more deer I hope~
IBB~ I will have to go back and read~
tina: go back and leave another comment, your gonna give her a complex when she sees those.....she is way cuter than I, but I have wisdom, sarcasm, and stuff way beyond her lil youngin years
Good night MEK, I have been over to your myspace admiring your work. I loved them all, but the western ones were my favorite. I have noooo talent to show all of you, but if you come to my Karaoke night, I will sing your asses off LOL!!
kaHOnugirl~ how's that? :D
MAry--
i love to go to karaoke night!!!
Mahalo Nui Loa tina, you the bestest!!!
IBB~ What is your favorite song? I sing everything from "Crazy" ,"Bring it on Home","Rehab" If I were your Woman, "to Tim McGraw" and my favorite " Dream a little dream of me". I have over 800 karaoke cdgs.
Mary--
Me and bobby McGee...
But I love Patsy also!!!
Mary/Mi~~Why not YouTube yourself and put it on your MySpace? Then, invite us over for a sing-along. We'll wait here :o)
bono--
Awesome idea!!!
IBB~One of the first songs I learned was Bobby McGee.
I'm watching Craig Ferguson. Are you watching the lady comedian?
Mary/mi.. I am now!!
Good Lord! Have you ever read some of the nasty comments people write on you-tube? I have a tender heart gals! LOL!!
ooops.. the party is over!!!lol...
I don't go to U-tube... so no I ahven't seen teh comments... But it doesn't surprise me... people are mean!!!
Oh My Gosh... look at teh time... and I was going to bed early...
It happens every time I come here before bed!!!
Good nite all...
Enjoyed the day with all the laughs...
Goodnight IBB~ it's been fun!!
G'nite IBB. Glad you're back 'n feeling frisky!
I'm not sure who is still there, just thought I would say goodnight to who ever is lurking [:+)
I must be seeing things all of a sudden the words are bigger. weird!
Good night MARY/MI...please sing me a Tim McGraw song so I can go to sleep! I would love to go out and hear you sing!
Where is everybody?
Hey, J/L ~~ You know I'm here (enhancing your page, tee-hee) and watching Charlie Rose...but fading after a day chock-full of giggles. G'night, owls!
Bon'O Good night! I love the scroller on my page. Too funny!
Hi DIANNE, MARY/MI, JUST LIN!!!
DIANNE - So great to talk to you today. I hope your granddaughter gets better soon.
TINA - Are you still up? How is Mr. Tina feeling?
Jodi Hi! You should go to my comments and see what Bon'O sent me. It's a riot!
I guess you all went to bed so I will do the same. I hope everyone gets a good rest. See you tomorrow.
JUST LIN - Luv the scroller on your page from BON!!! Luckily, I went to the bathroom before I read it!!! Goodnight and sweet Custard dreams 2 U!!!
350!!!! Wooo Hooo!!!
MySpace FYI
I don't understand the connection, but the first photo you add to a new album is somehow linked to the "Friend Updates" feature. If you delete that photo, any new photos you add to that album will no longer be recognized by the "Friend Updates" feature.
If you run into this problem, feel free to email me, because I've figured out a couple of ways around it. I've also emailed MySpace to find out if it's a glitch or a necessary link.
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